Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (Full Version)

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her2spankmehard -> Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/15/2011 6:07:12 PM)

Well i read the forced issue and  i agree that a sub cannot be forced to do what they already like. My question is, since i am new, Is there truly a mistress out here that would take pleasure in granting my likes (read profile)as part of her wishes and pleasure or does it lose flavor if i already desire it? i am being sincere in this question.



Lockit -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/15/2011 8:40:10 PM)

I guess that depends on the dominant woman. Personally I don't feel that my partner desiring something is a drawback. I would be a little concerned if he didn't, therefore, how could it displease me or lose anything? There is power in his desire and driving him mad is so much fun! However... there has to be something there for me to want to drive him mad.

You really should have said what your interests were here in the thread. Directing people to your profile could prove to have been a mistake.




hausboy -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/15/2011 8:52:57 PM)

I agree with Lockit on this one.
I visited your profile--you list a lot of your desires and what you seek--but just some feedback here: it does not come of as genuine when you list something that you quite obviously want....but put that it is "as she desires" after it.  Let's be real here--it's what you desire.  There's nothing wrong with that--we're all here desiring something--but your profile is not going to really help your search if it seems like it's just about what you want, and not what you can offer her.

It would be like asking someone out to dinner--but saying:  I really want to dine on steak and potatoes....if that's what you  desire.  Or I would also dine on burritos....if that's what you desire.  Just say it--you have these interests and fantasies and hope to find someone who shares them.  You might want to pursue ClubFEM or other groups that cater to Female Domination over males--you'll be far more likely to meet a woman who has an interest is some of those activities. good luck!




DarkSteven -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/15/2011 9:00:38 PM)

I agree with what hausboy stated.  In addition, I would rewrite the profile so it doesn't come across as desperate - desperation is never attractive.  Also, try to give a picture of yourself as a man and a person, not just a playtoy.  Tell more about yourself than the kink and the play.



Arpig -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/15/2011 9:21:04 PM)

I was going to type out another long well reasoned reply..but then I thought fuck it, I just did that not long ago...so follow this LINK to see my reply...it applies to you as well as to the OP of that thread (except for the kudos part...your profile is a shopping list).

Edited to fix the link and to clarify (because I'm just that nice a guy)



journerotica -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/16/2011 9:55:04 AM)

I definitely agree with what others have said.

As a Domme I do want I want, what pleases me. If this happens to coincide with what my sub likes I have no problem with it.

Your profile is a problem - you're a "do me" sub if ever there was one, or at least that's how you come across. I don't like to see a list of "likes/wants" on a profile. Fair enough to mention if you have a couple of specific things you really enjoy, such as bondage or CP, but I want a sub who generally wants to please and serve me rather than have me do specific things (which is topping from the bottom).



ElanSubdued -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/16/2011 11:10:47 AM)

her2spankmehard,

quote:

Well i read the forced issue and  i agree that a sub cannot be forced to do what they already like.  My question is, since i am new, Is there truly a mistress out here that would take pleasure in granting my likes (read profile) as part of her wishes and pleasure or does it lose flavor if i already desire it?  i am being sincere in this question.


Here's a version of what is now becoming my standard reply in circumstances like this.

How many times does the pickup line "hey, wanna' fuck" work on a stranger?  If you're guessing a low success rate (as in *very low*), you're in the ballpark.  Now consider someone you know well... someone who is invested in you as a person and for whom you know mutual, sexual attraction exists.  Actually, for more realistic feasibility, let's make this person someone you already have a sexual relationship with.  You've been flirting with this person, the energy is appropriate, you're both "in the mood", and you now use the line "hey, wanna' fuck".  Your chances of success are significantly higher.  Get it?

Someone who doesn't know you and who isn't already invested in you as a person rarely wants to know your fetishes and BDSM needs.  So how do you get the point where someone is interested in sharing this way with you?  You use the skills of a gentleman.  You put your best foot forward as an interesting, well-balanced person... someone who a woman (in this case, a domme) might me interested in chatting with.  This means discussing your hobbies and interests, showing a sense of grace and humour, participating on the forums, and generally making an impression that you'd be a great guy to know.  Once you've developed enough rapport with a domme such that she wants to discuss fetishes with you, she'll ask or give indication she'd like you to discuss your interests.

Oh, and by the way, I don't advise using the "wanna'..." line with a domme.  Dommes have some *very strange* habits and one of them is a preference to lead. :-)  Then again, another thing to consider is that every woman is her own woman, with her own tastes.  Once you know a domme well enough, you may find the "wanna'..." line (used at the right time and in a respectfully playful way) is exactly what she wants to hear to put her in the mood for a take-down scene.  Every women is unique so I suggest making no assumptions.  The only assumption you can make is that courtesy and kindness are usually well received.

Here's my advise.  Ditch the handle.  Ditch the profile.  Complete re-write on both.

E.



her2spankmehard -> RE: Im not sure if there are any real dom females into what i like (3/16/2011 12:40:50 PM)

I would like to thank everyone who gave input into my sincere questions. I now have a better understanding of things and am working on a re-write of both name and profile. Thanks to all again.



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