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Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 5:32:59 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		I know, two different questions. The more serious one first:

It was suggested to me that since I am looking for weekend houseboys, I might enjoy having more than one. One to fill in when the other can't, or sometimes both. I'd actually not thought of the idea until it was suggested.

Does anyone have experience with two male slaves (possibly serving at the same time?). Are there any 'issues' such as power or jealousy or other that come up?

The other thing, I never know what to make anymore so, "What's for dinner?" I really need ideas!

-K
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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 6:08:35 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I can't help you at all on the first issue, but on the second I suggest something simple and basic...pork chops, mashed potatoes, and cream corn. Its what I had and it was very nice.

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 6:21:59 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko
Does anyone have experience with two male slaves (possibly serving at the same time?). Are there any 'issues' such as power or jealousy or other that come up?


Yes.  I'm 24/7 with two.  Polyamory does tend to be more difficult and to require more healthy communication, negotiation and schedule-juggling than monogamy, and the difficulty is squared rather than multiplied because you're really dealing with four relationships - the dom to sub A, the dom to sub B, sub A to sub B, and your dynamics when all three of you are together.  Failing to manage any of these relationships with a solid foundation of honesty, trust, respect and consideration for everyone's feelings and needs is very likely to result in problems. 

You can take the domly-dom shortcut to poly and simply decree that you're gonna add somebody and do whatever you like with them no matter how your existing partner feels about it.  But in my experience folks who do that generally end up being the dominant of a miserably unhappy, stress-filled household for a few months, and shortly thereafter, the dominant of nobody at all.  There really are no workable shortcuts to doing stable long term poly relationships, IMO.  You just gotta buckle down and learn good communication and relationship management skills.


quote:

The other thing, I never know what to make anymore so, "What's for dinner?" I really need ideas!


Uh, you might not want to know, but I'll tell you anyway since you asked.  I just finished a plate of creamy steamed goat brains Persian style, spread on crisp toast with pickled turnips, a dash of cinnamon, black pepper and garlic salt.  Oh man, that was good.  I used to pay a lot for that dish in a fancy-pants Persian restaurant on the West coast, so when I do a butchering, I don't let those tidbits escape.  The rest of the meat from the head including the eyeballs got tossed in with some lentils that had been boiled in homemade goose stock.  The tongue and cheeks got pulled before I started cooking; they're in the fridge for tomorrow's slow braising with rosemary, Meyer lemons, Greek olives and red wine.  Unless I get some cull roosters in, in which case it will be fresh chicken for dinner tomorrow and I'll freeze the goat for later.

One of the nicer things for me about having two male slaves is butchering help, as we kill all of our own meat in my household.  But my idea of dinner is probably not terribly inspiring to you, even though I consider it a gourmet delight. 


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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 7:01:25 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		I serve two Households at the moment--one to a Dom couple who frequently have other houseboys on occasion--the other is currently looking for a 2nd houseboy.  I come once a month (when my schedule allows) to both places---the local Household I spend 3 hours to clean--and I see the Domme at ClubFEM and munches, so if there is anything she needs to "address" with me, it can be done at the parties. The other Household is 90 minutes away, and plan to stay all day with occasional overnights--it has a heavy discipline component.  (meets both our needs--it's a good thing.)

Having two boys is actually a good idea for all of us because it helps keep the house in peak condition.  I'm hoping my local Household finds that second boy she's been looking for--my work schedule sometimes requires that I work weekends and can't come and clean--a 2nd boy would keep the place clean even if I miss a month.   I don't have any jealousy issues because I'm not in a romantic/intimate  relationship with either one.  On the rare occasion when there was more than one boy in the House at the same time, my Sir established the pecking order.

as for dinner---I'm afraid after reading what LadyNTrainer had for dinner, I'm not quite up for dining at the moment.

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 7:21:48 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		Asking me what I had for dinner may be a bad idea if you have delicate sensibilities.  Some days you'll get elaborate (but usually lean, low carb and healthy) foodie recipes, and some days you get feral savagery.  A couple of weeks ago it was a nice warm deer heart torn from the bleeding carcass and eaten like an apple.  I like steak tartare, with or without the fancy trimmings.  Shaved Parmesan, fennel, capers and white truffle oil with raw meat is quite nice, but hot off the carcass is pretty good too. 

Now the tougher bits need long slow cooking, so I'm also fond of braising recipes like osso bucco, chili with plenty of hot peppers and Chinese red-cooked shank with rice wine and soy sauce.  Or the aforementioned Greek method with wine, rosemary, lemons (fresh or preserved) and olives.  See, I'm not wholly uncivilized.  ;)

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 3/17/2011 7:22:13 PM >

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 8:30:59 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Asking me what I had for dinner may be a bad idea if you have delicate sensibilities.  Some days you'll get elaborate (but usually lean, low carb and healthy) foodie recipes, and some days you get feral savagery.  A couple of weeks ago it was a nice warm deer heart torn from the bleeding carcass and eaten like an apple.  I like steak tartare, with or without the fancy trimmings.  Shaved Parmesan, fennel, capers and white truffle oil with raw meat is quite nice, but hot off the carcass is pretty good too. 

Now the tougher bits need long slow cooking, so I'm also fond of braising recipes like osso bucco, chili with plenty of hot peppers and Chinese red-cooked shank with rice wine and soy sauce.  Or the aforementioned Greek method with wine, rosemary, lemons (fresh or preserved) and olives.  See, I'm not wholly uncivilized.  ;)


I'm kind of hungry now. I grew up on a farm. When you see some things, other things pale in comparison. I like having a farm on my plate. Not sure about brains, but anything duck/goose/lamb/pig/cow/chicken/ is usually fine with me. Though maybe that's what they mean by the phrase "Brain food"?

Is it polyamory if it's more alternating slaves on alternating weekends? (I don't envision a two slave 24/7 thing working but if I found one who was not the weekend one and could do 24/7, I can't picture letting the weekend one go if he wants to stay).

-K

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 8:39:34 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko


I'm kind of hungry now. I grew up on a farm. When you see some things, other things pale in comparison. I like having a farm on my plate. Not sure about brains, but anything duck/goose/lamb/pig/cow/chicken/ is usually fine with me. Though maybe that's what they mean by the phrase "Brain food"?

Is it polyamory if it's more alternating slaves on alternating weekends? (I don't envision a two slave 24/7 thing working but if I found one who was not the weekend one and could do 24/7, I can't picture letting the weekend one go if he wants to stay).

-K


Well, Sir is hoping to find a live-in houseboy or a live-in slave at some point, and he's said that it would not affect my commitment.  They were both (they are a male/female dom couple) originally looking to find a female slave, but I think his spouse has reconsidered the dynamic of two females in the Household, so a boy in this case is less likely to cause any friction.

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/17/2011 8:46:24 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko
I'm kind of hungry now. I grew up on a farm. When you see some things, other things pale in comparison. I like having a farm on my plate. Not sure about brains, but anything duck/goose/lamb/pig/cow/chicken/ is usually fine with me. Though maybe that's what they mean by the phrase "Brain food"?


Mmm, fresh farm food.  The quality is miles beyond anything you can buy in a store - modern mass produced meat is flavorless in comparison - and it's dirt cheap too if you do your own butchering labor.  Most people tend to be all weird about having arbitrary and irrational food taboos, so a lot of perfectly good food gets ignored or thrown away.  Not in my household.  If any culture anywhere eats it, I will too.  I don't like everything I try.  Raw bile is too bitter for me, I don't like the way spleen tastes no matter how you cook it, and boiled crickets and canned silkworm pupae are terrible.  (They're fine fried crisp or cooked from fresh, respectively.)   But goat brains are fabulous.


quote:

Is it polyamory if it's more alternating slaves on alternating weekends? (I don't envision a two slave 24/7 thing working but if I found one who was not the weekend one and could do 24/7, I can't picture letting the weekend one go if he wants to stay).


It's working out very well for me, though I understand that it's not for everyone.  My two get along very well and there have never been any serious issues from day one.  But we're not exactly typical folk, any of us.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 3/17/2011 8:48:31 PM >

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/18/2011 5:33:14 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		Hijackkkkkkkkkkkkk....... LNT, what's the address of your foodie blog? <grin> Otter and I want to go read!

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/18/2011 8:16:28 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

Hijackkkkkkkkkkkkk....... LNT, what's the address of your foodie blog? <grin> Otter and I want to go read!


I actually did have one, but I shut it down last year due to harassment and made it visible only to a small and select list of people.  Drop me a note on the other side to discuss it if you like.


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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/18/2011 8:26:57 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		An alternating arrangement could work as long as both are aware of it, and ok with it, and not likely to throw petty tantrums if the other cleaned something differently! Ideally they should both be following your detailed instructions as to how you want things done, so there shouldn't be the possibility for petty differences. Anything more personal and LnT has the advice down pat (though sorry, can't quite get into Her food habits!).

What's for dinner? Well I was real busy with academic work last night so eventually Master's desperate hunger drove Him to cook! Nice lean rissoles, mash and veg, A1 easy! AND He'd made lunch earlier in the day too, cold meat and salad ... what a wonderful Man He is!

Maam Jay aka violet[A] (when she's not being so busy!)

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/19/2011 7:32:48 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko
Is it polyamory if it's more alternating slaves on alternating weekends?


To address this point specifically, while you will find lots of verbiage from many sides of the poly community, poly pretty much is what you say it is.  Literally polyamory means "multiple loves", so if you are in multiple loving relationships, you're doing poly.  If everyone in the relationship is happy, healthy, honest and communicating well, then you're doing poly right. 


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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/19/2011 9:54:11 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		No offense, but I'm going to skip comments on the menu portion of the thread.   

Yes, through various times, I've had more than one submissive.  Some work out better than others.  It's not the situation that you seem to be looking to explore that is the difference.  It's the "who" you are going to do the situation with that will make the difference.  That has everything to do with whether they will have jealousy or not.  If you find people who are happy with the arrangement, you'll do well.  If they aren't happy, it won't work out.  For example, the last person that I was looking at was excellent in this capacity and it was a lot smoother.

On your follow up, I'd consider it "V" type poly, since both males would be in arrangements with you.  Even if  it's a service arrangement (you mentioned house boys) rather than a romantic one.


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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/19/2011 7:38:06 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline 		Having been in one of these kinds of relationships not that long ago, I can say that the one thing that avoids the jealousy issue is to be upfront from the beginning about multiple people. In most cases, unless the two submissives are EXTREMELY comfortable (or able to be conformed) with serving with each other, the best method generally tends to be separate times for both, as long as both know they're not exclusive. For me, what was most important was to know we weren't in competition with each other because some guys are very competitive (while I'm not). It can work, but again, it has to be a dynamic that is comfortable for both.

Otherwise, you end up with a lot of backstabbing kinds of things that really go bad. Of course, I've known a few women over the years that thrived on the drama of that sort of thing and fed into it, so even what I said can be taken with a grain of salt in some cases.

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/20/2011 7:37:26 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		@Muppet - What you describe would be a pretty good example of "doing poly wrong", or at least of something going pretty badly and fundamentally wrong with poly, to the point that I'd really need to put all playtime on hold and call for a serious sit-down talk and negotiation with everyone at the first hint of negative feelings and inability to be considerate of one another.

When my two are with me at the same time, the main threat is that they will get so caught up in geeking together about their shared interests that I get ignored.  Car trips with the three of us, I've learned to just take my laptop or a book for when they start speaking their own language and I don't understand their in-jokes and references or can't get a word in edgewise.  They are clearly having a good time.  Not being stupid, I am not going to discourage them from their fun together.  They are highly entertaining to watch, and I prefer this kind of fun, geeky energy in my household to either jealousy/competitiveness or the artificial awkwardness of high protocol. 

Poly doesn't absolutely have to involve relationships where your partners who are not themselves involved relate to one another, but this does happen to be my preferred form of poly, so we work pretty hard on building relationships and getting along.  It works for us.


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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/20/2011 10:26:54 AM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		LNT?

Sounds ***heavenly****

I am sure the only way I would have two is under the best, most honest conditions. Whether at the same time, or alternating. :-0

-K

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/26/2011 12:31:45 PM   
mwdsub4u


Posts: 49
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		mistressko
a slave like me would love to be Your bi- houseboi, not much into pain, yet lives to worship and serve,, the more you take control, set and reset my limits friends the more i become yours, yes i am older than what You desire yet i am still and always will be a slave

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/26/2011 12:51:12 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

My two-male-slave scenario is closer to LNT's - in some ways - and for me, clearly, the only way I could ever have an "ongoing" relationship with a man outside my primary relationship is if my husband not only knows him, but trust him. I've had plenty of very casual relationships on the side, but the point was that they were casual; when I addressed my open relationship needs with my husband, his biggest concern was "what happens if you fall in love with the other guy." So I keep my relationships casual enough that it isn't a risk. Even though *I* know that "falling in love with another guy" is not even a possibility, I keep it this way out of respect for my primary partner and his needs. It's a compromise.

It worked out (unintentionally) that my husband and this guy get along great; so great, in fact, that there's no problem with all three of us being together for extended periods of time. Like LNT, I end up being the third wheel in most cases, because they get along so well. Most importantly, my husband trusts this man (he jokes that he trusts this man more than he trusts me. I think deep down there's some truth to that, which I continue to work on) and with that, he's generally ok with letting me do my thing.

There are still challenges, though. One is that neither guy is comfortable being in the presence of the other guy for acts of intimacy, which is fine. We don't have a poly-sexual-relationship, we have an open relationship where everyone is friends. That's my preference anyway. My primary is also generally ok with me demonstrating acts of affection, flirtation and appropriate (to an outside) public intimacy, but is not interested in observing anything beyond that.

The reality is that for as FANTASTIC as it is, there's equal amount of WORK involved in managing the issues of intimacy in a situation like this, even when both men really respect each other. It can get downright complicated and headache inducing when both guys honestly rank their friendship to each other and their friendship with me, and our "three-way-friendship" as MORE important than ANY kink, but both understand that due to my wiring, the kink is a necessity. My secondary partner considers anything that is a risk to this friendship to be difficult to swallow, including kink. That has led to some rifts but we always work through it.

I joke that one day I will have him move in with us. Ok maybe it's only a half joke.

Akasha

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/27/2011 7:27:21 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mwdsub4u

mistressko
a slave like me would love to be Your bi- houseboi, not much into pain, yet lives to worship and serve,, the more you take control, set and reset my limits friends the more i become yours, yes i am older than what You desire yet i am still and always will be a slave


Well. I'm thinking that won't work.

- A lot of your loves and likes are in my "hard limits" category
- You are not between 29 and 41
- You do not live in my country
- You do not live in my province
- The idea of having a boi-wife actually makes me shudder and funny taste comes into my mouth
-Your profile seems to be looking for every type of situation, but I am not looking at all


-K

PS I had homebrewed spicy chicken wings and potato wedges for supper.

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RE: Two Male Slaves (also, What's For Supper?) - 3/27/2011 9:44:36 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		it would depend on just what kind of relationship/s that would occur in your service, what duties would be required and how each interacts with each other. you would need to determine what it is that is desired and work to fill that

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