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Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 3:06:08 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

What are some of the most cheesiest lines you have heard from said dominant types in the first few initial conversations (within the first 3 weeks)? Here are some of the ones I have heard:

(Occurs 7 times out of 10 for me) 'I am not like other Dominants, all the rest are (negative image laid in this spot)',
(1-week into chat) I want you to go to the store and buy candles so that you can prepare your ass for me,

I will think of more not so reflective of the individual dom so that they aren't looking in the mirror if they ever read this post.

Ah it is just one of those days......................

Post #: 1

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 3:12:18 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

(Occurs 7 times out of 10 for me) 'I am not like other Dominants, all the rest are (negative image laid in this spot)',
(1-week into chat) I want you to go to the store and buy candles so that you can prepare your ass for me,

he's right... he is not like other Dominants... the book Dominant for Dummies says you should be at that step within a few hours of chat... not a week... gosh he not pushy that all.. I think you might of snagged a winner there... well if you want to take things slow and easy that is *w* Like I said... this is based on the Dominant book of books... a great reference for all online dummies umm dominants "Dominant for Dummies" it's a bargin 99 cents

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 2

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 4:50:19 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

well the funniest one i got is from a guy who said perice you nipples and send me a pic. Like i was really gonna do that(this was within one week of chatting).

Matt's littleone

editied for typos

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 5/6/2006 4:51:01 PM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 3

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 7:08:47 PM

mayapple

Posts: 22
Joined: 5/1/2006
Status: offline

Awhile back, when I was new to all this, I received lots of messages when I posted a profile on a BDSM site. One of the first guys I heard from asked me to send a photo and I did. He did not reply for a few days (he was silent over a weekend... so I'm thinking, "Ah, this one has a wife..."), and then on Monday morning he wrote one line to say, "So, are you ready for an assignment?" I replied to say that I was corresponding with several Doms and I was not at the point of being ready to accept assignments from one Dom. He wrote back:

"I will NOT be interviewed by a sub! GOOD-BYE and GOOD LUCK!"

(.... It still makes me laugh.....)

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 4

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 8:29:58 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

A few of the worst;

You WILL be at my house by the end of the month or i will punish you severely.( hmmm, how, by sending me another arrogant email?)

If you have had yourself fixed this will be reversed, all women on my chain are breeders.(uh, sure, right away)

The day you arrive you will be branded(as what, the biggest idiot on the face of the planet)

And from my standpoint anyway, my favorite;

Subs/slaves in this house do not ride

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 5

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 8:30:10 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Within a week I was told to pierce my labia...and do it while he was talking to me on the phone...lol....That was the first and last week I talked to him.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to mayapple)

Post #: 6

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 8:46:42 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

How about,

"My wife is neutral to light submissive and needs a female to bond with. You will be my ultra submissive, to do, to say, to act, to think as I command you. Period. You will obey me because you need to obey me. I command you to call me, as my sister, Monday March 25 at 11 a.m. central time. ###-###-#### . You will say "is my brother home" and I will order you to travel to live with my family as my second wife."

I really got this letter, verbatim!! His wife didn't know!

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 7

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 9:41:18 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

OMG we have all had so-called doms order us to our knees in chat.... this tends to make me smile...lol (once I said.. "OK, on my knees, whats next?".. He never answered...lol)

I have had doms either say they are "strict". or "firm but kind". and I have never understood this one at all. Strict in what way? Are you going to hit my knuckles with a ruler for talking in class? Stick my nose in a corner for burning dinner? WTF do you mean??? I believe in informed consent..lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 8

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 10:05:14 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

A online chatroom dom on the west coast with his online chatroom sub on the east coast. Listening to those phonies on voice chat is a joke. They are probally both married and vanilla pretending to be something they are not while their other half is at work. I know one online dom that lets female doms torture him on voice chat. He must be a switch dom and sissy boy sub. She tells him she is standing on his balls and he whines and moans that is extreme fantasy role playing if I ever heard it. I am glad I dont take that ridiculus stuff serious.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 10:24:06 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

My absolute favorite one was this-- *from someone I'd enver spoken to before)

"[city X] Starbucks, 4 pm, I have 12 pairs of panties, 2 pairs of stockings, slutty red lipstick, candles, clamps and floggers. YouWILL be there or you will be punished."

I wrote back and informed him that City X was 5 hours from where I was, and seeing as it was 3pm it was unlikely I'd make it there, even if I wanted to.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

Post #: 10

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 10:32:00 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I have chatted with local subs that said they cant stand Doms because they are mean and arragant. Yet they called themselves pain sluts so I guess they were just pretenders.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 11

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/6/2006 11:20:50 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

How about those jokes that say I spent 5 years in a state prison like they are real tough. That dont impress me if they were so tough why did the dum ass get caught and locked up. They could have been giving Big Bubba a daily stool sample for 5 years. They could have been blowing a guard for a pack of smokes. I guess I should pin a dum ass of the year award on the next idiot that brags about being in prison.

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

Post #: 12

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 12:12:01 AM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

This stuff is outrageous lol

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

Post #: 13

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 12:22:53 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Two of my favorites:

"I'm a SWM. My wife is going to divorce me as soon as she finds out about what I'm doing."

... and an oldie but a goodie...

"Get on your knees, slut!"

"NO! You get on YOUR knees, boy!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

Uh huh.. if I had a dime ...

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 14

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 1:59:12 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElectraGlide

I have chatted with local subs that said they cant stand Doms because they are mean and arragant. Yet they called themselves pain sluts so I guess they were just pretenders.

I'm not sure how disliking someone who is arogant and mean makes the assertation that one is a masochist false.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

Post #: 15

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 2:05:03 PM

zebra

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

I guess each of us could write a book about this stuff. I had one who (in his first message) sent me his full name, telephone number, place of employment, job Web address, etc., and then reamed me out for lack of "honesty" when I declined to do the same. (Who asked you for all that info, friend?)

That's certainly not the lamest or cheesiest thing, but it's clumsily manipulative, and I think doms who want you to "submit" to them in the first week are just proving that they can't be trusted to take care of you or look out for your best interests in the long run.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 16

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 2:51:59 PM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

I don't get any of this crap (in fact, I don't really get any messages at all) but I did have a submissive female friend of mine forward me an email she got from someone here she'd never spoken to before. It went something like this.

"Hello. I am a very, very controlling and painstakingly intelligent and dominating man. You are going to be my slave. Here's how it will work, little one. You will first contact me, to let me know you are interested. I will withhold sex, and sexual talk, until at least the third message we exchange. This is all about control and power. Then, you'll tell me about your panties... what colour, what style, if they have perfume in them maybe. Okay? You are a slut to be used, I hope you realize this. I want you in my house doing dishs alot. And washing my floor... BITCH! Okay bitch? Like a dog, you know, a bitch dog. You're gonna lick food off the floor too. And always nakde, mmmmm I hope ur hot. So hot...... mmmm... Gonna make you be naked in front of my friends and probably really sluty clothes in public, and you MUST CALL ME MATSER. Do it right now when u reaply. jerking off right now thinking about ur submission and slutty yeah one handed tping omg here u go hav some cummmmmmm......... Hi. This is how it will be for us, every day. I'm very demanding, as you can tell by what just happened. You will immediately reply with all contact info and how big ur tits are. Hurry up, slut."

I'm sort of embarrassed to share genetic similarities with the thing that typed that.

< Message edited by CanadianGuy -- 5/7/2006 2:52:42 PM >

(in reply to zebra)

Post #: 17

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 3:29:48 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

online:

" Where do you live?"
" Do you like this and this and this and this (insert various forms of kink)."
" I will come and stay at your place for a few weeks, I wont pressure you into anything (except trying to get free accomodation for a holiday and yeah sure I believe the no pressure stuff)"

(This was in the course of an initial 10 minute conversation) Don't really consider it cheesy, it scared me a bit....but was laughable

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 18

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 7:17:21 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

"[city X] Starbucks, 4 pm, I have 12 pairs of panties, 2 pairs of stockings, slutty red lipstick, candles, clamps and floggers. YouWILL be there or you will be punished."

Well damn, why didn't you string him along a bit longer? Now we'll never know what kind of scene he was planning to do in Starbucks with 12 pairs of panties and candles! Geesh, now I'm going to die of curiousity!!

Cin

< Message edited by Vancouver_cinful -- 5/7/2006 7:19:52 PM >

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 19

RE: Rant & Comedy Minute - 5/7/2006 8:37:39 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

I'm so glad I'm not here looking - but I was elsewhere, before. I like to laugh - so I would read all of the "requests" and giggle my head off - soooooo amusing what people will come up with! I had 3,000 responses in less than 6 months - I could write a book. Online can be good - just take it with a grain of salt (a pile of salt). Lots of lonely people in the world - playing tricks.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

Post #: 20

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