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LadyNTrainer -> RE: Searching for exreme (3/20/2011 7:55:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: malemeat4Lady
Your insights of attending munches and local events was certainly most appreciated. I have not attended such as i have not felt comfortable in doing so. To attend such gatherings alone has been perceived by me as conspicuous and well...an outsider. i do understand that there may well be wonderful Ladies there that may well find me enjoyeable. i have sought to find a Woman who valued a situation focused on my belonging to Her, rather than of such a community nature. Again, i admit to being in error.
Then you're fucked, and not in the fun way by a strap-on. Your best chance and possibly your only realistic chance is to meet people in person at local social events and get to know them first. No sane person is going to see some profile on the Internet and say, "Oh yeah, goodie, this total stranger can move in with me and I'll be responsible for his life 24/7". Real life D/s relationships just don't work like a kinky porn movie. You HAVE to get to know and trust someone for a very long time before you take them into your home. Even if you have no sense of self-preservation, a healthy dominant will, and there is no way she is going to take you into her home without having spent a whole lot of face time getting to know you.
D/s relationships are still human relationships and they progress like any other. There are no insta-porn shortcuts. If you want to meet a dominant woman and court/date her with the intention of wanting to eventually be in a 24/7 D/s relationship, then you have to do that the exact same way you would meet and court/date a vanilla woman with the intention of wanting to eventually get married. It's unrealistic fantasy thinking to imagine that it can be any other way. Real life does not work like a porn movie where you get swept off your feet suddenly by a random horny femdom dressed in latex who will keep you caged all the time when not in use.
Real life is about adults who can actively contribute to their partner's life, and who are not so frackin' selfish that they are able to leave their kink in the closet and be adult members of the household when kids or family or vanilla friends come around. As they do, in real life. If you are so totally selfish and obsessed with your personal kink that you expect somebody to babysit you all the time and never have a life, you are going to be alone for a very long time. Your idea of a relationship is a major drag on a femdom's time and energy and capacity to have a real life, and that is just not going to work for someone who isn't independently wealthy and has no kids or family. Good luck holding out for that, if you don't revise your expectations.
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