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When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 6:49:58 PM

crystalclarinet

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Joined: 10/29/2009
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My Dom thinks that the majority of females would think I was nuts (at least to ponder or complain) in relation to our sex life and the intensity of it. We are a very loving connected couple and I would say that we have more of an old school approach to BDSM. We play, but due to time and money we haven't really gotten into the whips and chains club scene yet. We do however have an amazing connection to one another that is seemingly unheard of. When we make love it is like our souls are connected... all my Dom needs to do is to touch me to make me cum. When we make love its like I have gone into another world. Sometimes our love making is so intense I am on the verge of passing out. I feel like our souls are connecting with each other and its takes a lot out of me. Right now we do not have the ability to live together, but our love making is so intense that I can't stand to be without him... I guess on this point I was wondering if anyone else seems to have this type of experience when making love. Does anyone else have such a deep connection with their partner that its painful to be away, that the looks they give you make you weak in the knees, that the whispers in your ear makes you wet, tremble or even cum in anticipation of what is to follow? That their touch makes you cum so intensely that it is hard to stand? Does anyone feel like their soul, and energy leaves there body, to connect with their partners to create a feeling that is indescribable? I suppose that what we have is love... although this seems to go beyond... and I do have a hard time with it because I do feel alone... I can't discuss what's going on with my friends and they would not really begin to understand, and I suppose I'm looking for assurance that what's going on does happen with other people.

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 7:15:42 PM

Arpig

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Yeah it happens. Not all the time, but ain't it grand when it does. Love can be overwhelming at times, but in the final analysis, in my never even vaguely humble opinion, it is what makes all the rest of the shit life hands you worthwhile. Relax and enjoy the ride.

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 7:33:37 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I would say it's pretty typical among couples who are so intimately connected....not just bdsm couples but any couples. It's when there is a love where you share much in common.

I've been lucky enough to have this twice in my life and I feel so very blessed for it.

So no you are not alone....not at all.

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Post #: 3

RE: When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 7:45:38 PM

sirssubk2008

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I can't say that I have ever experienced it, but it does sound divine.....maybe one day...

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 8:12:47 PM

sexyred1

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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I have experienced that, but my question to you is this:

Why is this a problem for you that you had to post about it?

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 8:37:32 PM

crystalclarinet

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Joined: 10/29/2009
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I suppose it is a combination of things. I feel out of place because its not a type of sex I am used to and I suppose being this open with someone is also something new... I feel vulnerable because we are this in love. Also to a point sometimes I feel like our sex life has gone beyond where our relationship is in the life sense.

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Post #: 6

RE: When is it too much? - 3/20/2011 8:40:32 PM

sexyred1

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Do you mean your sex life is more satisfying than your daily life together?

If so, most of life is rather mundane so it is not all flowers and screaming O's.

I would relish the moments, because they may not always be there.

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Post #: 7

RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 3:37:26 AM

crystalclarinet

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No, that's not what I mean at all, I guess it is kind of hard to explain, but I feel like he and I have this great amazing connection, but we are still stuck living apart, only seeing each other four days out of the week.... and each lovemaking session is more and more intense, I just feel like our lovemaking has far surpassed where we are as far as steps taken in a relationship.... like moving in, getting engaged ect ect.

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 5:12:12 AM

Asherscorp1

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Joined: 3/6/2011
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I can relate to a lot of that. I felt something similar with my soul-mate although it had less to do with sex and more to do with everyday life, just existing in his presence. After dating for two weeks, we moved across country together and moved in together and I felt that was definitely moving faster than where we should be in our relationship but going at the rigth pace for what our hearts said. Anyhow, I know how unsettling it is. Like you are being swept away by something huge and uncontrollable. I remember the thought of losing him would bring me to tears, awful, wrencing sobbing for no other reason than just thinking one day he may not be there. For me, it did eventually even out, we grew very close and shared things I'd never shared with anyone but the overwhelming power of that love began to be less blinding and more manageable. I guess that isn't very helpful, I don't really have advice. Just wanted to say, you aren't alone, I believe it will get better. You won't have any less of a connection or be any less in love but you will feel more equipped to handle it. Not to be utterly consumed by it but live with it day by day like the brightest sunlight following over your shoulder and you get to bask in it always.

_____________________________

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 5:25:52 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet

No, that's not what I mean at all, I guess it is kind of hard to explain, but I feel like he and I have this great amazing connection, but we are still stuck living apart, only seeing each other four days out of the week.... and each lovemaking session is more and more intense, I just feel like our lovemaking has far surpassed where we are as far as steps taken in a relationship.... like moving in, getting engaged ect ect.

Oh. Well I would still give the same advise, enjoy it while you can. Life sometimes takes away that which it gives to you, so really enjoy what you have now.

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 6:23:51 AM

flcouple2009

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Your working to hard on separating you "sex life" and "relationship". Everything is a part of the whole.

Enjoy what you have while working towards your goals for the relationship.

(in reply to crystalclarinet)

Post #: 11

RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 6:33:22 AM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet

No, that's not what I mean at all, I guess it is kind of hard to explain, but I feel like he and I have this great amazing connection, but we are still stuck living apart, only seeing each other four days out of the week.... and each lovemaking session is more and more intense, I just feel like our lovemaking has far surpassed where we are as far as steps taken in a relationship.... like moving in, getting engaged ect ect.

Please do not be disappointed if things become more mundane once you are living together.
That is not to say it can't or won't still be magical, but the everyday has a way of buffering that.

So, yes, enjoy now, and enjoy all the other nows to come even if they might be different.

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 9:29:06 AM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet

No, that's not what I mean at all, I guess it is kind of hard to explain, but I feel like he and I have this great amazing connection, but we are still stuck living apart, only seeing each other four days out of the week.... and each lovemaking session is more and more intense, I just feel like our lovemaking has far surpassed where we are as far as steps taken in a relationship.... like moving in, getting engaged ect ect.

Greetings,

I'm going to share a piece of advice with you that I always impress upon the people that I've mentored in the past. Learn to live in the moment, not moments ahead. The inability of many submissives to relax and enjoy what is taking place without contemplating a never-ending stream of problems has always struck me as rather odd. It's good, and good is perfectly alright. You can't anticipate what tomorrow will bring or if the relationship will alter in any way. Set aside the worries and accept the changes that are taking place. Allow yourself the feelings of uncertainty as you adjust to the new world you've come to know. Relish every morsel you've been given.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 10:39:02 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet
I suppose it is a combination of things. I feel out of place because its not a type of sex I am used to

But, as others have said, you're hardly alone. This has nothing to do with BDSM or the like. I've never been able to be away from Carol without really negative symptoms cropping up. I don't sleep. I get truly grumpy. I tend to get sick.

and I suppose being this open with someone is also something new... I feel vulnerable because we are this in love.
There aint no such thing as easy money. If you want to be intimate with someone and reap all the emotional benefits thereof, then you are also going to be vulnerable to them. I've said this quite a few times and I'll say it again here. Nobody has ever hurt me like Carol has. Nobody could. That's the price of admission for deep intimacy. It's a price I'm quite comfortable paying.

Also to a point sometimes I feel like our sex life has gone beyond where our relationship is in the life sense.
This statement would be somewhat concerning to me but not terribly unless it continued over time. Let's remember that relationships fluctuate over time. It's not surprising to say that in any one time period some element or elements are predominant. But if I saw a long-term trend of sex being better than the emotional landscape then I'd start to get worried.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Post #: 14

RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 12:59:51 PM

hejira92

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Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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I would ask how new your relationship is. It may be in the infatuation stage. Now, don't get me wrong- infatuation does not mean it's not real or that it won't last. It just is.

The infatuation stage is when your heart beats faster just thinking about him, you are ready for sex just seeing him and you can't stand to be apart- it's a physical ache.

I've known that stage several times in my life. It usually lasted a couple months at most. Then, reality set and and I started noticing the things that were not perfect about my partner (vanilla or BDSM, male or female).

But, with the right one (the one who has now owned me for 5 years), the infatuation stage lasted, oh, about 3 or 4 years. It did gradually evolve into a deep and abiding love and connection that, in its way, is even more satisfying. And it is still punctuated by heart-stopping sexual excitement. But, as the love and trust has grown, my fears of vulnerability have faded, my heart has become indelibly interconnected to His, and I have stopped worrying about "is this normal?" It's not. And that's one of the things that makes it so special.

Enjoy. You have been blessed with a gift for which many search their entire lifetimes.

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Post #: 15

RE: When is it too much? - 3/21/2011 5:13:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Your sex life is probably this intense because you don't live together. You take the garbage out alone, not during couple time. You take the car for an oil change alone, not when you're with him. You've arranged your life so the couple time is only fun stuff with lots of time cleared for sex. Real life includes not being able to stay up all night making love because you have to get up at 6 the next morning, because you need to do laundry on Saturday instead of having sex all day, and so on.

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Slave to laundry

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RE: When is it too much? - 3/23/2011 3:16:38 PM

Herbabygirl

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

I'm going tom have to agree with sexyred1. It doesn't seem like much of a problem to type about. It sounds like you have something people want in life. Enjoy it while you can and it's there.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 17

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