Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (Full Version)

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BonesFromAsh -> Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 5:21:12 AM)

While perusing the interwebs this weekend, I came across this site... http://www.femalesrule.com/ and being the alternative housing junkie that I am, I decided to see what it was about.

Their concept is summed up as
quote:

A peaceful EcoVillage/Cohousing Community for those interested in loving, Female-led relationships


While some may see their core values and goals as being a bit "crunchy granola/feminist", I was impressed with the general idea and was curious to read how other women felt about the idea of being part of such a community and it's ability to be successful in today's society.

I'm also curious to read what the men think and if they would be willing to be part of a female led community and not just a female led relationship.




OttersSwim -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 6:31:26 AM)

You know, they have done a pretty good job of steering the writing on the site away from general Female Superiority...but it still seeps in:

                 3) We believe that a male is better off with the loving guidance of a Female in his life.

While the above may be true for some males, it is certainly not true for all - and those that do adhere to such a concept, usually have a specific female in mind.

For myself, I am not really in to bowing and scraping to any female that comes along, and I would be concerned that this sort of community would create the type of atmosphere where that is expected.

Of course, the fantasy-loving part of me, simply adores the idea...but with a community of very specific women whom I know and respect...excuse me, I have to go find some tissue...[;)]



Charles6682 -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 6:47:51 AM)

I wouldn't mind living in a Female Led Community as mentioned above.



YSG -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 7:12:12 AM)

I have problems with any type of supremacist veiws, wether gender, racial, religious, etc. I have seen the damage that has come from these views, and i have a feeling that "female supremacy" would cause just as much. Besides, not all women are dominant, not all men are submissive. Hell, we have a very small segment of the population that are in the lifestyle, you know? Life is not "one size fits all".



Charles6682 -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 7:29:31 AM)

Well,I will agree I wouldn't want to be around a bunch of man hating women either.If thats their intent,count me out.It is an interesting website.It seems she wants to build this community in Florida,which is where I live.Florida does get alot of interesting people and communitys down here.Probaly due to the year long warm weather I am sure.



LaTigresse -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 7:36:17 AM)

I think it is a fantastic idea...........on paper/web.

The reality is, in my eyes, impossible.

#1 As otherwise mentioned, not all women are dominant. I don't see women as superiour. In fact, some are rather inferiour specimens of humanity.

#2 Some men make fantastic leaders, just as some women do. It shouldn't be about gender but ability.

#3 I cannot imagine a group of dominant women working together as a team for very long. Colour me cynical.



BonesFromAsh -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 7:44:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

#3 I cannot imagine a group of dominant women working together as a team for very long. Colour me cynical.



This also crossed my mind.

ETA....What does that say about our and society's view of dominant women in general?



LaTigresse -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 7:49:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

#3 I cannot imagine a group of dominant women working together as a team for very long. Colour me cynical.



This also crossed my mind.

ETA....What does that say about our and society's view of dominant women in general?


Or.......about women in general? Sadly, as a woman, my point of view comes from many years experience working with women.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 8:27:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

For myself, I am not really in to bowing and scraping to any female that comes along, and I would be concerned that this sort of community would create the type of atmosphere where that is expected.

The equivalent of what Otters said. I don't want random men deferring to me because I'm a woman; I want my men deferring to me because I'm me. I also don't want them feeling they have to defer to random women just on account of them being women.

I guess it depends on scale. (Warning: numbercrunching ahead.)

If we're talking three couples - six people - there are 15 different interactions between individuals going on (nine of which are D/s). If all those work well, and there is mutual respect all round, and for the authority of all three dominants, fine. I can conceive of that being successful. But if we're talking ten couples - 20 people - that's 190 interactions (100 of which are D/s). I just don't believe in a system where all those 190 interactions (or even just the 100 D/s ones) are good.

ETA: (because I only skimmed the site the first time) 33 homes?!? 33??!!!

That's 2,145 interactions and 1089 D/s interactions.

Nowai.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 8:51:13 AM)

Maths! Life is good!

I confess to not having read the thread...but am old enough to remember communes. Just not a fabulously workable notion. I am also thinking of Dame Calla, who was part of a HOUSE, with a staff of mixed gender servants. Choosing oservants for best fit, yes. Random "I am the one with the correct chromosomal iteration so you will take out the trash" seems to be begging for the lowest common denominator.

And that's where MY cynicism comes in :)



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 9:06:02 AM)

FR:

There's another thing. Taken from their 'goals':
quote:


To Lift Women Up! It'll be a positive atmosphere that encourages women's dreams to take flight and provides a safe, peaceful living environment that is conducive to better self-esteem and self-expression. Where women can gain confidence and support.

Nowhere in the list of goals is there any mention of the men's dreams, or self esteem, or expression, or confidence, or support. They will represent 50% of this community. The concept of a community whose goals imply that it encourages the happiness of 50% of its members at the expense of the other 50% doesn't sound good to me.



Lockit -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 10:56:32 AM)

[:D] Just what I want... to have a group of women dictating how my household runs... to any degree! A number of women have contacted me and asked me to join with them on this venture or that... I couldn't agree with stage one of their plans and thought most were out of their friggin minds. Beat a man to get over the anger I hold from life wounds... you must be fucking nuts! Do what(?) to him because you say for me to, because it benefits all women? Yeah... right up my Jerry Springer alley!

Counsel of wise women? Men taught the community concept of what a female dominant or lifestyle is? Degrading my man in any form because women are better? You may not be bald yet bitch, but you will be soon. (If that tells you anything! lol)

My man will not submit to me because I am WOMAN! He will submit to me because I am Lockit.. I am worth it and he loves me. Hell, I would have to respect a lot of other women to have him subservient in any manner to them... and that most likely isn't going to happen.

The way they word things... is amazing. Why would I need a man and a community to have better self esteem? Whoa, something wrong with this picture. If I was all that... why would I need it confirmed by anyone or anything else? Silly to insane I think.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:18:37 AM)

Glad I didn't delve into the site...my head would have exploded!



LaTigresse -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:19:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Glad I didn't delve into the site...my head would have exploded!


Agreed.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:36:58 AM)

I'm not dissing BonesFromAsh here, just wanted to clarify! I have episodes of activism in my past, and the flashbakcs were killin me! I wasn't. A kumbayah chica back then, either.



BonesFromAsh -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:43:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I'm not dissing BonesFromAsh here, just wanted to clarify! I have episodes of activism in my past, and the flashbakcs were killin me! I wasn't. A kumbayah chica back then, either.


No worries....it was something I found and, like I said, given my love of alternative housing/communities I was curious how it would go over with the crowd here.

ETA...I'd love to be a fly on the straw bale wall a year or two into the experiment to see how things were going. Would the women be having their own power struggles (as implied by LaTigresse) and would the men finally have reached their limit with the female-led utopian dream/fantasy? I often see "female supremacy" listed on men's profiles and I think to myself "be careful what you wish for".



Lockit -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:51:35 AM)

I'm not wanting to diss her either!

I actually have had times of communal living and I love it... but then it was my community (home). lol  I created my ideal community when I was eighteen. Each household working for the betterment of the community, but a household unto themselves, with no structure determined by the community in their home. Hey, I was young, but I do think of team work living, always have and may always.

This site makes me think, Manson gone mad or some religious sect, instead it is a female dominance religion. It is more like a core belief in this idea of the community and while on the surface of what I saw, it looked cool for those that might be interested. It was when I looked around... that the wording and intent was clearer. Every sect, group or communal living I knew about other than the smaller scale, one or two home situations, had some really off the wall stuff they didn't actually promote when they promoted the ideal of utopia.



leadership527 -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:56:19 AM)

I lost interest the same place Otter did. Pretty much the moment ANY group starts talking about "males" and "females" I lose interest unless they've got a real scientific study (not a survey) to back them up. Otherwise, this just becomes a vehicle for prejudice and bigotry.

while these folks may "believe" in whatever they want, this particular belief is pernicious at best and is more akin to faith than belief. Out of curiosity, how would it go over if the site instead read, "We believe that most females are air-headed bimbos unable to take care of themselves without proper male guidance?"



BonesFromAsh -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 11:59:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Out of curiosity, how would it go over if the site instead read, "We believe that most females are air-headed bimbos unable to take care of themselves without proper male guidance?"


Good question, and I wonder how many would be willing to be part of such a society if the roles were reversed and the men had the say in ruling matters.

Hmmm...on second thought, there are communities like that already.



LaTigresse -> RE: Matriarchal Co-housing....thoughts? (3/21/2011 12:00:33 PM)

I was gonna say.........HISTORYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!



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