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How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 10:14:38 AM

pleasersub

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2010
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How do i find a Dominant Woman to train me... ... i am really to be Someones sub/slave..

thank you in advance for any help....

pleasersub/slave

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 11:16:01 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Wrong question. There's a whole bunch of Dominant women listed in your area on collarme, and I'd be surprised if San Diego doesn't have a bunch of kink groups as well.

So let's try to determine what question you really mean. Are you having a hard time finding one compatible with you, and if so, what do you want? Or is it how to approach one?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to pleasersub)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 11:20:29 AM

pleasersub

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2010
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Yes there are a few listed here in my area but i am older and seek an older Female Dominant... so ye maybe my approach is wrong...
any suggestions.......

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 11:26:43 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Go to a munch. Go straight to a munch. Do not pass go. Do not pay anyone two hundred dollars.

Seriously? San Diego? It has always been My understanding that there is a vibrant lifestyle community there.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to pleasersub)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 11:47:22 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5174
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

As LP just said, get yourself to a munch. Wow them with your personality. Make friends. Do not expect to walk out of your first munch on a leash held by a Domme. Be patient. Make yourself useful. Volunteer to help out. By networking eventually someone will realize you'd be perfect for someone they know who goes to another munch and maybe introduces you.

If you are uncomfortable attending a munch, well, then that is not good. You "might" find a Domme online but quite frankly, that mostly happens in fictional stories. Most people meet for the first time at a munch or event or some other social place. It all depends on how much you really want this. If you really want to find a Domme you will do everything you can do to find her. If there are things you will not do, like attend a munch, then you don't want one enough yet.

So take the advice of Steven and LP. Get yourself to munch.

(in reply to pleasersub)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 11:47:54 AM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
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And once you make some connections with women as people, not just Dommes, and learn a bit more about what's out there--I'd also check to see if there is a local chapter of ClubFEM, which caters exclusively to Dominant Woman and men who serve them.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 12:02:09 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasersub
Yes there are a few listed here in my area but i am older and seek an older Female Dominant... so ye maybe my approach is wrong...
any suggestions.......

Yup.

1) Figure out exactly what you mean by "female dominant"... no it's not "obvious"... trust me.
2) Go out to places where women hang out... that pretty much means "anywhere outside your front door". If by dominant you mean "kinky" then places like munches & play parties should yield better results although not always.
3) Look for women who seem to be something like what you're looking for and say, "Hi, my name is xxxx"
4) Strike up a conversation with this woman with the intention to learn more about her and for her to learn more about you.
5) See where it goes from there.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to pleasersub)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/27/2011 12:49:08 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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If you can't find something or someone in Southern California, you aren't looking very hard. I used to say, you can find anything you want within a mile of where you are and I think that is pretty much, true.

I get this non talkative male thing, but really... get specific, talk... you want something bad enough, learn to communicate it. Clueless at an older age, indicates something I wouldn't think you would want someone to think unless you really are clueless and if you are... good luck with that.

Show who you are and saying you are ready to submit and be trained... just isn't going to get you anywhere. We domina's are everywhere... you just need to find a way to capture our attention, in a good way.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/28/2011 5:46:07 AM

pleasersub

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2010
Status: offline

i will take the advice that has been presented and try some new avenues and thank you all..

(in reply to Lockit)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/28/2011 7:37:58 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasersub
Yes there are a few listed here in my area but i am older and seek an older Female Dominant... so ye maybe my approach is wrong...
any suggestions.......

Yup.

1) Figure out exactly what you mean by "female dominant"... no it's not "obvious"... trust me.
2) Go out to places where women hang out... that pretty much means "anywhere outside your front door". If by dominant you mean "kinky" then places like munches & play parties should yield better results although not always.
3) Look for women who seem to be something like what you're looking for and say, "Hi, my name is xxxx"
4) Strike up a conversation with this woman with the intention to learn more about her and for her to learn more about you.
5) See where it goes from there.

I agree with Jeff's posting, but I'm afraid that the bolded part needs some clarification. "Learn about" does NOT mean exchanging lists of kinks. Not right away, anyway.

You're 62 years old. You must have picked up a LOT of life experiences along the way. Talk about your kids and their lives, places you've lived, jobs that you've held, hobbies... and make sure to ask her about the same sort of stuff.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to leadership527)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/28/2011 7:57:05 AM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

4) Strike up a conversation with this woman with the intention to learn more about her and for her to learn more about you.

THIS.

For the life of me, I just cannot fathom in a million years why males seem to think that kink gives them a free pass to avoid that little step.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 3/28/2011 8:58:20 AM

pleasersub

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2010
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Again thanks all good info.... i am sorta seeing the lite....................

(in reply to ReginaMirus)

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RE: How do i find a Dominant Woman - 4/7/2011 12:41:17 PM

betamale25

Posts: 13
Joined: 4/2/2011
Status: offline

Hey Bro,

You may want to go to my journal and read my essay on how to write an e-mail to a Domme. Several Dommes have already e-mailed me to say they loved the post and wished sub men would read it. They added, that it is unlikely any male sub would actually learn from my post or be willing to take it seriously. They might be correct in their assumptions, but it is my hope that my essay will help out a fellow male sub or two.

The most difficult part of being on CM or other such sites for sub guys is getting noticed. Many, if not most, sub men cast wide nets with obvious form e-mails, desperately hoping that the law of averages will eventually work in their favor. If you read my journal you will note that a Domme friend of mine who is new to all this stuff, asked me to read over the e-mails in her CM in-box. Reading the messages made me feel bad for my brothers, and prompted me to write the essay. Reading those e-mails it was obvious to me that either these men were either utterly clueless, or they were "punching the clown" while they wrote their form e-mails.

I get rejected quite often, but I get rejected by e-mail rather than being ignored. Most Dommes appreciate the fact that I took the time to write a personal e-mail just for her. Even though they are not interested in me they do show their appreciation for my not being a total putz, by sending me a courtesy and appreciative rejection.

I hardly ever follow discussion board threads, mostly because people on DBs use the boards as an excuse to release their inner Cartman (cf. South Park). Please feel free to e-mail me if you need clarification or further advice.

(in reply to pleasersub)

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