RE: The Mental Carousel

RE: The Mental Carousel (Full Version)

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peachgirl -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/2/2011 6:12:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: uncertainlyizzy The other part of that that I'm working on really hard currently is the idea that anyone would want to help. That I don't have to do everything on my own. The idea that D would watch my daughter for me for 10 minutes so I can step outside for a breather or be willing to buy me dinner or would be concerned because I'm in pain is foreign to me. He's having to beat it into my head that yes I am important to him so therefore he does want to help me out when he can. My side of changing that is learning to ask for it and speak up when I'm needing something instead of just smothering it so I'm "not a bother". Me being weird from not eating or stressing too hard from being "on" with my daughter for too long or just plain hurting so bad I'm stupid with it bothers him more than me asking for help ever would and I'm learning to focus on that more than anything else. isn't it amazing when you learn you don't have to do it all yourself? and everything turns out just fine?

peachgirl -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/2/2011 6:18:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss No, just a traveler. [:D]...lol... I associate the term "stinkin thinkin" with the Flylady, her followers are known as flybabys... http://www.flylady.net/index.asp

sunshinemiss -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/2/2011 9:24:14 PM)
I first heard that term years ago in a 12-step program!

DesFIP -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/3/2011 6:51:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peachgirl I have to give credit where credit it due...the Man was the first one who said to me that my "it's all my fault" was the behavior I fall back on the most when I was getting ready to shut down. Well yes. If any mistake is met with abuse and degradation that goes on and on, and you discover that the only way to abort this attack to some degree is self abuse, and the only way to live through the abuse both from the other and from yourself is to shut down, then this is what you will do. If it helps, what works for me is for him to hold me at this time. Because nobody ever yells at you while hugging you. So he isn't angry and I'm not afraid, which allows me to hear him without frantically trying to find a way to run away from it all, even if just in my own mind. Remember, it is when people are most unlovable that they most need love.

peachgirl -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/3/2011 10:31:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: peachgirl I have to give credit where credit it due...the Man was the first one who said to me that my "it's all my fault" was the behavior I fall back on the most when I was getting ready to shut down. Well yes. If any mistake is met with abuse and degradation that goes on and on, and you discover that the only way to abort this attack to some degree is self abuse, and the only way to live through the abuse both from the other and from yourself is to shut down, then this is what you will do. If it helps, what works for me is for him to hold me at this time. Because nobody ever yells at you while hugging you. So he isn't angry and I'm not afraid, which allows me to hear him without frantically trying to find a way to run away from it all, even if just in my own mind. Remember, it is when people are most unlovable that they most need love. thank you, I think you made two really good points here. and I think when you find yourself the most unlovable, then that is when you need to love yourself the most.

yummee -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/4/2011 2:29:55 PM)
I'm another martyr. "Look how hard I work for you, blah blah ... After all I do, blah blah." It is learned behavior from my mother, the Martyr Supreme. B pretty much just tells me I am welcome to stop doing all those things at any time. That ends it. I've got it made and I know it, lol.

sunshinemiss -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/4/2011 7:59:17 PM)
Sunny Quote of the Day goes to yummee [sm=cute.gif] for It is learned behavior from my mother, the Martyr Supreme.

yummee -> RE: The Mental Carousel (5/7/2011 7:19:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Sunny Quote of the Day goes to yummee [sm=cute.gif] for It is learned behavior from my mother, the Martyr Supreme. HAHA. You just made my day! Thank you [sm=yourock.gif]

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