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male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/7/2006 10:40:51 PM   
subtlesubie


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		THe enmity and vitriol here between these two groups is staggering.  Given that they need and covet eachother, you would think that once in a while some one from either side would have something nice to say about the other.  Yet clearly connections are being made.  Is CollarMe is for meeting people, and CollarChat for sniping at them?    
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/7/2006 11:11:39 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I use both to ridicule idiots. 

I have said it before and I say it again, and I will say it until some Domme comes along and gags me. 

You post your opinion in a public forum, others will reply with their own.

I have not actually noticed "emnity" and "vitriol", although I will admit, I don't know what they mean, and have no intention to look them up because someone decided to use obscure words to make up for a lack of proofreading and mastery of the shift key.

To me, I have seen a lot of male subs joke with Dommes, Doms, and other subs, as with female subs.  There are a few flames thrown, but those are not along Dom/sub lines, but more among good opinion/yours lines.

Just the way I see it.  Any Dommes wanna dispute it, I can only say to thee:

"Covet me, Guldarnit!"

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to subtlesubie)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/7/2006 11:31:59 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

THe enmity and vitriol here between these two groups is staggering.  Given that they need and covet eachother, you would think that once in a while some one from either side would have something nice to say about the other.  Yet clearly connections are being made.  Is CollarMe is for meeting people, and CollarChat for sniping at them?    


Haven't noticed it either. I have noticed a few who've been taken down a notch or two because they constantly complain or feel sorry for themselves. I've met nothing but good women on this site. And with the exception of few ''culls'' who messaged me in the beginning for money; I have yet to have a negative experience with any lady here - Straight up. Now... I've noticed you don't have a profile? You'd have a lot more credibility if you'd stop hiding.


 - R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to subtlesubie)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/7/2006 11:48:37 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		 Egos are what they are. Regardless of gender, orientation or persuasion.

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Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 4:57:25 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am a Domme and I personally love intelligent sub males, its the alpha males who believe ALL females should be subservient that I sometimes have a problem with. Or should I say, they have a problem with me.

~Lashra

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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 5:26:56 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		I think your problem is going into a chat room to begin with. If you're seriously searching for a partner, I hardly think you'll find one in chat.

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 6:37:41 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Just because W/we are Domme/Domina and male submissives--does not mean we are able to overcome the humaness of our idealogical/philosophical differences--those are inherent and at the end of the day, two people still stand facing each other--however, I have heard that the chat rooms are pretty brutal-- I don't go there, I use the boards for I find that it allows One to see many sides of people---and I have learned much---and  most of any vitrol I've gotten has been from a very few Doms and a few female subs who don't believe in Female Dominance--but the life is to each H/his/H/her own.

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Mistress Hathor


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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 7:15:01 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Perception of any given experiance has more to do with how the perciever percieves things in general, the filters of how they interpret the world around them...

I also do not see the vitrol you speak of, sometimes whiny brats get verbal spankings, sure, but that is what they they come here for, every one has thier own kink.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 12:09:53 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

THe enmity and vitriol here between these two groups is staggering.  Given that they need and covet eachother, you would think that once in a while some one from either side would have something nice to say about the other.  Yet clearly connections are being made.  Is CollarMe is for meeting people, and CollarChat for sniping at them?    


What I've seen, I wouldn't call emnity and vitriol.  I have seen a lot of Dominant Women tell male "submissives" that their fantasy life is unrealizable, and these self same male "submissives" lash out at them for it. 

(in reply to subtlesubie)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 12:17:44 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear subtlesubie,
 
People will be people.  There will be killjoys and cheerfuls, there will be tension and compassion.
 
Judge individuals as individuals.  Judge the message, not the sender.
Judge the intent and not the gender or color, role and or beliefs.
 
Create your own heaven or hell.  Let others do the same.
 
I'm sure you'll do just fine, just worrying about your own peace of mind.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to subtlesubie)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 12:48:57 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
What I've seen, I wouldn't call emnity and vitriol.  I have seen a lot of Dominant Women tell male "submissives" that their fantasy life is unrealizable, and these self same male "submissives" lash out at them for it. 
 

As well they should. To imply that a subs fantasy is "not true femdom, not authentic, selfish blah blah blah" is to imply that they ard they alone are the all knowing expert of all things globally. I have butted heads with them on this topin more than any other for the simple reason that what applies to them or is right for them doenst for someone else.  But then I get accused of being "nice" to subs which apprently is a big no-no (in their opinion which means nothing to me, lol).

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Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 1:17:22 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie
THe enmity and vitriol here between these two groups is staggering.  Given that they need and covet eachother, you would think that once in a while some one from either side would have something nice to say about the other.  Yet clearly connections are being made.  Is CollarMe is for meeting people, and CollarChat for sniping at them?    


I'm going to go against the general opinion here and agree with you. I do indeed see a lot of what you're talking about. On nearly a daily (and sometimes several times a day) I see a male come to collarchat and state his fantasies. And then I see (and often join) a bunch of Dommes who try to "set the record straight" that we are not personal fantasy fulfillers.
I don't attribute it to a general hostility between malesubs and Dommes though. I attribute a lot of it to the lack of accurate titles for people.
I've seen a trend of the internet being used a great deal by male bottoms who are after kink, play, sex, and fantasy fulfillment, and being used a great deal by Female Dominants who are after power exchange, and D/s or M/s relationships.
Contrary to popular belief, most male bottoms aren't seeking out female Dominants. They are seeking out female tops. And most female Dominants aren't seeking out male bottoms. They are seeking out male submissives.
Everyone is so repulsed by the idea of using titles, labels, and definitions, that a lot of people entering the lifestyle have no clue what the difference is between a bottom and a submissive, or between a Top and a Dominant. If they don't already know the difference, and they aren't given a chance to learn the difference, and they have no option of defining themselves as one instead of the other, then it makes perfect sense that they are going to choose "the answer closest to what I am".
Beyond that, I think many of the female Dominants who log on here (myself included) realize that the greater percentage of male submissives and male bottoms who log on to sites like these, don't have a realistic perspective of us. And sometimes (like after the 12th fantasy laden, unrealistic, stereotyped post that week) we begin to lose a bit of patience (and a bit of hope) and start coming across a lot more bitchy than we were 11 posts earlier.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to subtlesubie)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 1:49:26 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix
I'm going to go against the general opinion here and agree with you. I do indeed see a lot of what you're talking about. On nearly a daily (and sometimes several times a day) I see a male come to collarchat and state his fantasies. And then I see (and often join) a bunch of Dommes who try to "set the record straight" that we are not personal fantasy fulfillers.
I don't attribute it to a general hostility between malesubs and Dommes though. I attribute a lot of it to the lack of accurate titles for people.
I've seen a trend of the internet being used a great deal by male bottoms who are after kink, play, sex, and fantasy fulfillment, and being used a great deal by Female Dominants who are after power exchange, and D/s or M/s relationships.
Contrary to popular belief, most male bottoms aren't seeking out female Dominants. They are seeking out female tops. And most female Dominants aren't seeking out male bottoms. They are seeking out male submissives.
Everyone is so repulsed by the idea of using titles, labels, and definitions, that a lot of people entering the lifestyle have no clue what the difference is between a bottom and a submissive, or between a Top and a Dominant. If they don't already know the difference, and they aren't given a chance to learn the difference, and they have no option of defining themselves as one instead of the other, then it makes perfect sense that they are going to choose "the answer closest to what I am".
Beyond that, I think many of the female Dominants who log on here (myself included) realize that the greater percentage of male submissives and male bottoms who log on to sites like these, don't have a realistic perspective of us. And sometimes (like after the 12th fantasy laden, unrealistic, stereotyped post that week) we begin to lose a bit of patience (and a bit of hope) and start coming across a lot more bitchy than we were 11 posts earlier.
   A standing ovation to the lady who hit the nail on the head.
I read at least a dozen books before I knew to call myself a female dominant, rather that watch fantastic movies on how I should behave.  The books I read didn't change anything about me; they simply guided me in discovering that there are different people with different points of view, who are turned on by a different approach.

I LOVE LABELS, and agree that there is a difference between a bottom(refers to the person who takes on the submissive role for the duration of a scene) and a submissive(characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others), and I try to figure out if we both read from similar books/dictionaries and understand one another before moving forward.  If you have no intentions of submitting except for those times when you've agreed to be spanked/whipped, than you and I have nothing to go on.  
It is my experience that male dominants are much better mannered (as gentleman-like behavior goes) than the alleged submissives that have approached me, so that if I were going for the sensation alone, I would choose a male dominant whose kinks matched mine, not an angry M bottom as they appear on these boards.      M  

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 2:40:22 PM   
moon69


Posts: 59
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'll give another applause to Proprietrix-----
That is definately a great explanation...and indeed a greater DESCRIPTION of the differences of submissives and bottoms.  And another worthy commentary on how the lack of knowing the difference, by male subs, can ellicit some harsh and negative reactions.  But thats what these usually tend to be.... REACTIONS....Especially after the 'umpteenth-billion' time a similar contact is being established.  But that is what one must remember is that it is usually a reaction.   It is not something premeditated or constructed , just waiting for those to lash out at (unless that IS their intent), but for most it is just a the response that comes with the tiresome bombardment typically received.  I know that when I first started I was, admittedly, one of those who sought the first mistress that I saw with similar tastes....and pursued with the blinding lustful furvor that surges through you wh you think "This is the one!".  But at the time it comes from just that....   masturbational desires of fulfillment.     Which is the same I would add, to it being a possible "turn off" for women in the vanilla world....when overly aggressive males, hell bent on getting laid, pursue women in such places as bars and nightclubs.  But then the same reactions are likely to occur in that arena as well, if not worse!  The internet's anonymity factor (sometimes unfortunately) allows for a disassociation factor of respect for others in this regard.  But the same then can be said of the Femdoms and their reactions... although I would still side with them (Dommes), because i know how some men can be...
Most of the Dommes I have seen have placed what they are looking for in their profile, if one doesnt fully understand what all that truly entails....then by all means disconnect from them....or better yet DIRECT them to a better resource to enlighten them further .
Learning begins at a starting point and develops.....   just like in relationships.......one cannot bypass certain things (ie. respect, information, protocols etc etc) and expect the end result to be the fantsay fulfilled.  Is something I know I learned way way back when I first started out.....and probably the hard way....  but I am better for learning it more intently, that this is sooooooooooooooooo  much more than I ever thought possible, and time invested can reap a greater mutual reward.
Sure the lust will always seep out.....  but that is what those urges and itches do to us all.....
This turned out to be longer than I was planning , and could go on Im sure.....
But LEARNING the aspects of this LIFESTYLE is an individual choice as well......     which hopefully help others from the 'hard knocks' lessons when discovering it.........       or maybe they need it!

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 3:03:01 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moon69
That is definately a great explanation...and indeed a greater DESCRIPTION of the differences of submissives and bottoms.  And another worthy commentary on how the lack of knowing the difference, by male subs, can ellicit some harsh and negative reactions.  But thats what these usually tend to be.... REACTIONS...
You have a point but it is important to notice that most fem doms are not reacting because a man is presenting himself as a bottom...  In my opinion, most fem doms react to a one hand typing one hand on cock approach who does not treat her as anything but another typist fulfilling his kinks.

I personally don't mind having a hot man/man with a high libido approach me...  Even if at a play party, I don't want a man approaching me with "I'd love to orally worship you."   I'd prefer he say "my name is jerkoff, and I think thin you're sexy", lol.

I think lust is a wonderful thing; it is that desire to mate that makes us work at getting along with one another oftentimes.  I would simply like to be approached as you (generic you) would any woman you've just met on the street first.           M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to moon69)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 3:05:58 PM   
moon69


Posts: 59
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline 		I agree......which i might have input later into what i had written earlier......  if not   definately add it!

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 3:07:54 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		BRAVO! Well stated.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 3:13:35 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		You tell us...did you start this thread to meet someone or to snipe at them?

(in reply to subtlesubie)
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RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 3:23:49 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Chat rooms in general can get pretty nasty, which is why I stay out of them.
As to conflict between Dom and Domme, it's a shame when that happens.
Dominance is not exclusive to either gender.  I am grateful to the Dominant
Women and Men that I meet who inspire and educate and entertain U/us.

Yours in Kink,

Vendaval 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: male sub vs femdommes - natural enemies? - 5/8/2006 5:05:31 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		I get agitated with the lack of respect in the Mistress forum by bitter subs. The general forum is another story, it's open season in here. But in the Mistress forum there should be more respect.

But the truth is a lot of the "fights" happen due to a misunderstanding. The "do-me" subs have gotten into the heads of the lifestyle Dommes while the ProDommes have gotten into the heads of the lifestyle subs.


(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 20
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