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LadyHugs -> RE: Suffering in silence (5/8/2006 11:30:05 AM)
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Dear caitlyn, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I agree, that nobody is perfect. This is one reason I have on purpose left flaws in anything I write, publish. I am human--all are human. There are times to forgive. Times to work harder to create the words that it requires to deter bad behavior.
It is communications and coming to an agreed standard to work by.
However, when tolerances are breeched and the behavior is that, which is knowingly to the contrary of understood and agreed behavior, as all remedies are exhausted; then discipline/punishment is required.
But, as with anything--some treat it as a game or scene, some do both in play and serious training corrections and some, perhaps like me--it is the last resort and before total collar removal and dismissal.
Negotiations are the times when limits, tolerances and issues are to be discussed--not after the fact or, as things pop up. I do dislike the make up the rules as things happen or punish a slave for behavior done before such rules were placed, known and or acknowledged, sort of D/s interactions.
I am thankful, that the slaves I have had in the past, have never caused severe discipline. More times than I can remember, the slaves beat themselves up more than I would ever do. They do suffer in silence, as they really from heart, soul and spirit want to please. A look of disappointment can shatter such sweet and dear souls. Perhaps dominants do not realize how a look or expressions of disappointment, is as if to throw an axe into their heart, shattering into pieces that can never be mended and restored as new.
Perhaps also, slaves do not realize how painful for a dominant as I, to discipline a slave that I see as a gentle kitten, a lamb or some other tender being. Some do enjoy such, for this is more for those who identify as Torturer and or Executioner, rather than a loving Master.
But, each slave must realize that for every action there are effects.
So also, for every willing choice to be disobedient, the consequences are known--so should the expectation be present as well.
Without discipline, obedience, limits and or boundaries--the slave is not free to operate within them safely. I never wish to see a slave go past the safe margins. No different than training a dog, as to stay within the safety of the yard. It is much more delightful a dog can play off the leash or chain in peaceful and delightful safety, than to be chained and fenced in with limited freedom.
In summary, it is the "spirit of intent" that is most important when it comes to the M/s and or D/s relationship in all levels and in all things.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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