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Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:11:47 AM   
lilbitnella


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Just wondering...the old saying, "Men fall in love through the eyes and women through the heart..." (Esp in D/s, where things are more visual and creative). Any takers?

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:14:21 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Men tend to be more visual processors- you know, men look at porn while women read romance novels.

But there's no universal and it certainly doesn't mean that's all there is to it.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:18:54 AM   
lilbitnella


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Grins, so true lucky.. but do you believe this is how they fall in love? (persay...not all men are this way)

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:20:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilbitnella
Grins, so true lucky.. but do you believe this is how they fall in love? (persay...not all men are this way)

Lust, sure.  Love, no. 

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:20:29 AM   
CrappyDom


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There is no doubt a beautiful woman catches my eye, but that lust often dies a quick death when they open their mouth or reveal their true selves through their actions.

I have never dated a woman strictly for her looks nor only for her brains.  There are ones who I was physically attracted to at first and ones who I came to see their beauty after getting to know them. 

But women are guilty of the same sins.  When I first came into the scene and was much younger, the older submissives who sat around and bitched that all the old dominants only wanted to play with the young ones, all hit on me despite my complete lack of experience.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:21:38 AM   
RavenMuse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilbitnella
Just wondering...the old saying, "Men fall in love through the eyes and women through the heart..." (Esp in D/s, where things are more visual and creative). Any takers?


Looks can quite easily turn my head and catch my interest, however, turning my heart takes far more. I can be interested enough to play from simply visual, but to care enough to want to make her fully mine, that is more the personality, the spark of attraction for who she is and the dynamic between us, for that, looks are secondary.


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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:24:03 AM   
meatcleaver


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Not necessarily. I fell in love with someone through their prose, without knowing what she looked like.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:28:45 AM   
becca333


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I have an image in my mind of the physical attributes of the perfect Dom - a definition of my ideal partner.  And none of my partners have come close - yet they've all been wonderful.  In fantasy we can order up the perfect guy just like assembling toppings on a pizza, but when we hit reality we find that there's so much more that's important, and looks are at the bottom of the list.

And since I'm the total antithesis of a supermodel, yet I've had some lovely partners in long-term relationships, it seems that at least some men don't just go by visuals, either.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:34:02 AM   
Ceyx


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Physical attraction is important to me, but certainly not paramount. For me, the process of falling in love is an emotional and intellectual one; it has less to do with looks and great sex (kinky or otherwise) and more to do with a meeting of hearts and minds. Short answer: no, I don't fall in love through the eyes.

If you're talking about 'love' in a looser sense, meaning something like interest or even infatuation, then I can imagine that being primarily a visual affair. I also don't think it'd last long, at least for me.


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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:35:03 AM   
slaverosebeauty


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I think men fall in 'lust' at first sight. Thats why profiles with pictures get more responses than those without.

For a long time my profile did NOT have a picture up, I received a handfull of responses, once I put a picture up, it was amazing at the number of responses that are recieved by having a picture up.

Men are visual creatures, ever notice how mens heads will turn when an attractive female walks by? They see her appearance, NOT whats on the inside. Its carnal attraction at first sight.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:37:31 AM   
DedicatedDom40


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty



For a long time my profile did NOT have a picture up, I received a handfull of responses, once I put a picture up, it was amazing at the number of responses




True.  It must be those eyes! <VBG>

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:44:24 AM   
slaverosebeauty


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Ok, its the eyes. {bats big brown eyes}

I guess that gives all of us bottom-types something to focus on, forget showing the legs or the curves, show the face and deep alluring 'come and get me' eyes. Thats what guys want.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 8:47:52 AM   
RavenMuse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

Ok, its the eyes. {bats big brown eyes}

I guess that gives all of us bottom-types something to focus on, forget showing the legs or the curves, show the face and deep alluring 'come and get me' eyes. Thats what guys want.


Actualy, you are not far wrong, at least from my perspective. The rest maybe very pleasent but I am going to be spending more time looking at her face than any other part of her.... If I see nothing else before I meet her in real life, her face is what I want to see

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 5/8/2006 8:48:16 AM >


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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 9:00:25 AM   
understud


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Some men do some don't. i have grown out of the "eye candy" mentality and try to find a compatible and agreeable spirit in anyone now. If they happen to also be a knock out, traffic stopped, so much the better.  But really physical appearance is way down on my list of priorities.  And no...i/m not blind...stupid maybe but not blind....
 
always respectful
 
understud....where are my specks ....(Smiles)

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 9:04:35 AM   
lilbitnella


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Thank you for the thoughtful replies. I do agree men are more visual;however, I agree that a man can fall in love first through the eyes, and even more so when he finds the woman to be smart, intelligent, and fun to be with. I think it's the same for women. We women can see a handsome man then after a few conversations, recognize he's all fluff---and the same is true for men with attractive women.

For me personally, it has more to do with a man's thoughtfulness, insight, and compassion. Looks are a plus, but not a determining factor as to whether I'm going to take the relationship further.
Thanks again for the replies!



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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 9:08:46 AM   
lilbitnella


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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Not necessarily. I fell in love with someone through their prose, without knowing what she looked like.

Now that...is truly falling in love. Appaulds you!


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~Rod McKuen~

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 11:11:17 AM   
caitlyn


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It's not the eyes ... it's quite a bit lower.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 11:42:39 AM   
CrappyDom


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And some who are quite beautiful on the outside are rather stunningly ugly on the inside.

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 11:54:33 AM   
TNstepsout


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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

It's not the eyes ... it's quite a bit lower.


LOL- Interesting you should say that. I take a Bellydance class and our correct bellydance posture includes shoulders back and a slight lifting of the rib cage to elongate the torso and present the breasts. My instructor refers to it as "eyes open".

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RE: Do Men fall in love through the eyes first? - 5/8/2006 12:03:32 PM   
boy43


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Interesting thing, yes, i think it can be in part true, but as all that kind of topics gives a false idea about what eyes look for....

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