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Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/4/2011 5:18:30 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		Just wondered if any straight (not bi, not lesbian) female dominants have ever had female slaves (for non-sexual purposes)? Am I missing out? LOL

-K
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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/4/2011 10:07:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Yes.

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/5/2011 11:09:01 AM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		Yes it happens, or yes I'm missing out? ;-)
I was thinking of considering this lately, but didn't want a lesbian slave to be insulted, I know that lesbians are not necessarily attracted to straight women (I know some lesbians). I wondered if it was the same as getting a male slave and not being interested in a sexual/romantic relationship. I wondered if the same sort of guidelines applied, just tell them upfront you don't care about their orientation, but are not interested in a relationship?

-K

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/5/2011 1:01:05 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
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Status: offline 		It has been my experience that more women are more willing to be of service to a person without sexual service, than men.


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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/5/2011 3:57:00 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
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From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko

I know that lesbians are not necessarily attracted to straight women

If it's non-sexual, what does it matter if she's attracted to you?


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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/5/2011 4:01:16 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I guess it would depend on the lesbian. I have no problems playing with straight women. I just don't expect it to go any further than casual play.

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/5/2011 5:34:42 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko

I know that lesbians are not necessarily attracted to straight women

If it's non-sexual, what does it matter if she's attracted to you?



I don't want to be a tease. Like if a male slave were attracted and I had no interest, I wouldn't expect him to continue on.

-K

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/5/2011 5:37:25 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It has been my experience that more women are more willing to be of service to a person without sexual service, than men.



Agreed.


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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 1:52:14 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko

I don't want to be a tease. Like if a male slave were attracted and I had no interest, I wouldn't expect him to continue on.

So in your little world, the only people who can play non-sexually with you are people that aren't attracted to you?

Weird.


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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 10:54:40 AM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko

I don't want to be a tease. Like if a male slave were attracted and I had no interest, I wouldn't expect him to continue on.

So in your little world, the only people who can play non-sexually with you are people that aren't attracted to you?

Weird.



Well it depends how you define attraction. Enjoy the look of, or being around? Fine by me. My definition in this scenario is - 'attracted and thinks they can convince me I will date them' not so fine. Or nice for them.

If I'm attracted to a guy, for instance, I don't want to be his 'friend' for life hoping that he will come around to my way of thinking and become attracted back and want a relationship.

Like the age old scenario of the girl who keeps on a guy as "just friends" but she knows he is attracted, and it becomes a mean thing because he'll do anything for her in the hopes that one day something will spark between them. In my little world people call that taking advantage of the person with the attraction.

That's not a mean place to put a person in?

-K

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 4:36:49 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressk

Well it depends how you define attraction. Enjoy the look of, or being around? Fine by me. My definition in this scenario is - 'attracted and thinks they can convince me I will date them' not so fine. Or nice for them.

So you're defining attracted as 'attracted and x,y,z that don't necessarily follow on from attraction' - can you see how that's not a great definition? Words have meanings, and it's not great for discussion if you randomly add bits onto them without mentioning it.

Also, lesbians are just as capable of fancying someone without acting on it as anyone else. You might not want to be friends/involved in a nonsexual capacity with someone you're attracted to, but you're condescending to tell this theoretical person that they don't want that either, and that sets my teeth on edge.

quote:


That's not a mean place to put a person in?

What's 'mean' is not treating them like an adult and allowing them to make the decision themselves.


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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 4:52:10 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressk

Well it depends how you define attraction. Enjoy the look of, or being around? Fine by me. My definition in this scenario is - 'attracted and thinks they can convince me I will date them' not so fine. Or nice for them.

So you're defining attracted as 'attracted and x,y,z that don't necessarily follow on from attraction' - can you see how that's not a great definition? Words have meanings, and it's not great for discussion if you randomly add bits onto them without mentioning it.

Also, lesbians are just as capable of fancying someone without acting on it as anyone else. You might not want to be friends/involved in a nonsexual capacity with someone you're attracted to, but you're condescending to tell this theoretical person that they don't want that either, and that sets my teeth on edge.

quote:


That's not a mean place to put a person in?

What's 'mean' is not treating them like an adult and allowing them to make the decision themselves.



That makes sense. It's probably a holdover from growing up around a lot of males. The only term I can think of is 'cock tease' or leading on. That's what I am wanting to avoid. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or break hearts. Hypothetical though it is at the moment.

(quoting again) Also, lesbians are just as capable of fancying someone without acting on it as anyone else. You might not want to be friends/involved in a nonsexual capacity with someone you're attracted to, but you're condescending to tell this theoretical person that they don't want that either, and that sets my teeth on edge.

Yeah that's not the intended message. In 'vanilla' dating sites and experiences, "just friends" seems to always leave the guy wondering why nothing romantic develops. Not so much in my personal experience, but guys I've met, dated or not, and talked to. I keep hearing, reading, experiencing that BDSM should be treated the same as any other relationship. So I transferred"just friends" from the vanilla dating world over to 'just slaves'. Maybe it's not the same.

What I've said to people before is just that I am not really looking for a romantic relationshp style of slavery. Would that statement be adequate?


-K

< Message edited by mistressko -- 4/6/2011 4:56:33 PM >

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 4:59:13 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko

What I've said to people before is just that I am not really looking for a romantic relationshp style of slavery.

Would that be adequate?

Absolutely - in fact, you'll might find that easier with women than men, as others in this thread have said. All anyone can ever ask of you is that you're clear and honest in what you want - the rest is up to them. :-)


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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 5:01:38 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressko

What I've said to people before is just that I am not really looking for a romantic relationshp style of slavery.

Would that be adequate?

Absolutely - in fact, you'll might find that easier with women than men, as others in this thread have said. All anyone can ever ask of you is that you're clear and honest in what you want - the rest is up to them. :-)



Good! I know I can overthink sometimes. I spent too much time with people who didn't think at all.

-K

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 5:07:19 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		You added to your post while I was writing.

quote:

In 'vanilla' dating sites and experiences, "just friends" seems to always leave the guy wondering why nothing romantic develops. Not so much in my personal experience, but guys I've met, dated or not, and talked to. I keep hearing, reading, experiencing that BDSM should be treated the same as any other relationship. So I transferred"just friends" from the vanilla dating world over to 'just slaves'. Maybe it's not the same.

'Just friends' isn't the same as 'just slaves', no. You can have a seriously intense non-sexual, non-romantic interaction with someone that's completely fulfilling and doesn't need to be sexual.

Think about it: you actively want to have a non-sexual relationship. You're a woman. Ergo, there are women who actively want non-sexual relationships. The sort of men hanging around allowing themselves to be cock-teased (and much as they might like to complain, that sort of interaction is a two-way street) are not after non-sexual relationships - they're looking at them as something 'less' in some way. But they don't have to be, if you're with the right person.

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RE: Straight Femdoms Having Female Slaves? - 4/6/2011 5:43:15 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I like to serve and I like S&M-y sex but I have yet to find one person to do both with. Last fall, I had great S&M-y sex with one guy while serving another. I went into the latter relationship knowing sex was unlikely. When I grew tired of being an option rather than a priority, I ended it with both of them.

I was very disappointed with a previous service-only relationship because that was supposed to include sex. That relationship was a failure because my expectations were not managed properly.

Although I am bi, I would have no problem serving a straight female Domme as long as either I was free to attend to my spanking needs or she was arranging it. (I'm not calling it "sexual needs" cuz serving arouses me, whether or not the receiver of my service does anything overtly sexual.)

(Of course my first choice would be to for the servee to also be the spanker.)

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