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Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 8:05:53 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
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Status: offline 		...or...Do Men Need to be Taught How to Make Donuts?

In the "Ways to get my attention topic"...Miss SexyBossyBBW said:

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW
Oh gross. The kink lists are endless. I don't understand why most men don't realize that approaching a woman, like she's a cheap kinky whore, does not make most of us all hot and bothered... Or I should say, it does, but not in the fun kind of way.
As an adult, I can arrive at any subject with another adult; but it has never been a point of departure, between myself and complete strangers. M


When I read that, I instantly thought "Boston Creme Filling"...I did! 

When you buy a filled doughnut, you are likely really after the yummy filling - be that creme, or jelly, or chocolate...but what a mess that donut would be without the "casing" that holds in all that yummy goodness?  And Thank God for the enterprising humans that figured out how to safely encase that center yummyness, eh? EH?!!

We all want the yummy filling at the center of our favorite filled doughnut.  But in order to get that in this world, we actually have to be the ones that construct that outer casing that will hold all that amazing center of kinky delights!  And to make that more complicated, we have to do it with another person - who at first is most often a total stranger.  And so we have many many instances of:

He says:  "Yummy filling?"

and She replies "Time to make the donuts!"

And more often than not, he replies again "Yummy filling!?"

And that is where the culinary breakdown often occurs...because all he knows is "Yummy filling!"  It all looks so easy in the porn because the casing around the yummy filling is either implied, or they simply ignore the fact that it is required.  Thus, it is easy for a guy to look into the kink lifestyle and think that women have suddenly lost all their morality and relationship skills, and are just there to provide him his yummy filling!

The doughnut around the yummy kinky filling is the friendship to relationship part that is necessary for most people to actually be able to experience the yummy filling.  It is the understanding of the other person, the sense of safety with them, the time learning who they are in the vanilla world.

It is hard to know who to blame here...I don't honestly think we can blame the guys (up to a certain point) because they are only following and asking for what has been so plainly represented to them in porn and their own wish fulfillment - it looks so easy!  The "up to a certain point" part above, is the fact that there are some guys who will cling to the fantasy part even after they learn that in order to have "yummy filling", they must first work with the Lady to construct a donut.  The lesson:  Women do not stop being human beings at the kinky door.

I also don't know that we can blame the porn industry..after all, who is going to stick with porn where the first 50 minutes/pages are taken up establishing a "relationship" and building a structure to hold the "yummy filling"?   That brings up thoughts of porn vs. romance and the facts that the audiences for both are mostly divided on gender lines...hmmm...another topic...

And so, to sum up.

WHAT WOMEN WANT:

He says:  "Yummy filling?"

She says: "Time to make the doughnuts."

He says: "Yes"


< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 4/5/2011 8:16:05 AM >

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 8:28:40 AM   
Ishtarr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I don't honestly think we can blame the guys (up to a certain point) because they are only following and asking for what has been so plainly represented to them in porn and their own wish fulfillment - it looks so easy!


Great post Otter.

One question though...

Why do you think it is that it's so much more typical for a kinky guy to forget about the doughnuts than it is for vanilla guys?
I mean, both kinds of porn only focus on the filling, yet somehow vanilla guys often seem to remember that to get the filling they need the doughnut and kinky often don't seem to remember.

If they're both watching "filling-porn" why the difference in how each group reacts to it?

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 9:02:44 AM   
LadyPact


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Status: offline 		Funny that you should mention it.

I actually don't blame the porn industry.  They are in the business to make what sells.  Their primary goal is not education.  It is to make money.  It's very lucrative and I don't expect them to cease what brings them the most success.  The business thrives on fantasy and that is what brings the greater yield.

This may seem harsh, but yes, the responsibility of knowing fact from fiction lies with those who are buying up the porn.  Nobody went to see "Lord of the Rings" and expected the world to be like Middle Earth when they left the theater.  The fact that a number of people don't choose to do so really has no one to blame but themselves.


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 9:16:05 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr
One question though...

Why do you think it is that it's so much more typical for a kinky guy to forget about the doughnuts than it is for vanilla guys?
I mean, both kinds of porn only focus on the filling, yet somehow vanilla guys often seem to remember that to get the filling they need the doughnut and kinky often don't seem to remember.

If they're both watching "filling-porn" why the difference in how each group reacts to it?


I wonder if the difference is not that WIIWD is outside the conventions of most accepted societal structures and thereby there is some assumption made that if a Lady is into this sort of thing, that thereby she must be like those 2D women in most porn. 

Women don't stop being -women- at the kinky door either.

I think that most guys just wish that you would...


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 11:18:39 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
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Status: offline 		Otters,

I have nothing against men who are submissive, nor men who cry, nor girly-men. But I do think that men who use the word 'yummy' should be safely locked up in isolation units for the rest of their lives, and I'm sure all right-thinking citizens will agree with me.

Seriously, this is where your analogy breaks down, for me:

'When you buy a filled doughnut, you are likely really after the yummy filling - be that creme, or jelly, or chocolate...but what a mess that donut would be without the "casing" that holds in all that yummy goodness?'

Nooooo! Doughnuts are good because of the contrast between the casing and the centre. The one helps to accentuate the taste and the texture of the other. That's how it works for me, anyway.

As for the old, old question of why submales zero in on said 'centre' whilst forgetting the casing more often than vanillas . . . well, I have my own little theory to add to the burgeoning pile.

This is that their 'conversations with their inner women' - their 'animas' (as that old goat Jung called them) - are more intense and feel more divorced from real-world women than those of vanilla males. As a result the average submale, I'd guess, is more likely to grow up confusing fantasised ideas of females with real-life females.

Heh. Actually, I don't think that was a new theory so much as an old one, but more pompously stated.



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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 12:27:44 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Funny that you should mention it.

I actually don't blame the porn industry.  They are in the business to make what sells.  Their primary goal is not education.  It is to make money.  It's very lucrative and I don't expect them to cease what brings them the most success.  The business thrives on fantasy and that is what brings the greater yield.

This may seem harsh, but yes, the responsibility of knowing fact from fiction lies with those who are buying up the porn.  Nobody went to see "Lord of the Rings" and expected the world to be like Middle Earth when they left the theater.  The fact that a number of people don't choose to do so really has no one to blame but themselves.



What the lovely lady in lavender said.

If any, reasonably intelligent, thinking, human being......is going to see a porn movie, magazine, online porn...... and assume that real life and real human beings, are anything like what is being portrayed.... they don't deserve a relationship with a real human being. My advice to them......get a blow up doll.

There are no shortcuts to successful human relationships. Regardless of type.


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 12:42:02 PM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Nobody went to see "Lord of the Rings" and expected the world to be like Middle Earth when they left the theater. 



Wait.....The world isn't like Middle Earth?  No wonder I've failed in all of my quests to find elves and orcs.  I guess I should stop hunting for trolls as well.  Darn!

Does that mean that if I show up at a lady's house carrying a pizza, she's not going to immediately take off all of her clothes and have hot sex with me?  Gee, I don't like the real world.  


< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 4/5/2011 12:44:03 PM >

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 12:58:47 PM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Wait.....The world isn't like Middle Earth?  No wonder I've failed in all of my quests to find elves and orcs.  I guess I should stop hunting for trolls as well.  Darn!

You might find some if you take up playing WOW.

quote:

Does that mean that if I show up at a lady's house carrying a pizza, she's not going to immediately take off all of her clothes and have hot sex with me?  Gee, I don't like the real world.  

Depends.  Do I get to beat you first and what kind of pizza are you bringing? 



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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 1:02:12 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yay.......now I want pizza.

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 1:03:03 PM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Yay.......now I want pizza.


And here my goal was to make everyone crave donuts...


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 1:18:09 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
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Status: offline 		Otter, if it makes you feel any better, I WAS thinking about something like this before I got side tracked to pizza.




Attachment (1)

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 1:57:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Neither of you are helping My diet one bit.  

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 2:19:27 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Filled doughnuts are my least favourite.

Story of my life.

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 2:27:10 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Neither of you are helping My diet one bit.  


I am not exactly helping my own cause here either. Somehow, the banana I just had for a snack, wasn't quite cutting it.


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 3:52:07 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Doughnuts are good because of the contrast between the casing and the centre. The one helps to accentuate the taste and the texture of the other.

Nonono, you's confuzzled. What you've described is exactly what makes the analogy good - the contrast between, say, scaring the crap out of someone and curling up with them and letting them cry it out afterwards accentuates both states.


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 3:57:38 PM   
gothikbutterfly


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 4:29:05 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Doughnuts are good because of the contrast between the casing and the centre. The one helps to accentuate the taste and the texture of the other.

Nonono, you's confuzzled. What you've described is exactly what makes the analogy good - the contrast between, say, scaring the crap out of someone and curling up with them and letting them cry it out afterwards accentuates both states.



Eh? I thought that was what I said. Otters's point seemed to be that submales just want to get straight through the case to get to the jelly. Whatever, those were three very horny lines, my dear VC.

If relevant: I don't like doughnuts anyway. Too sweet and squidgy. Food for girls, woofters and North Americans only.

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 4:33:29 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Otters's point seemed to be that submales just want to get straight through the case to get to the jelly.

The ones with no social skills do. He's right. It's all 'break me, mistress' and no 'let me give you a reason to care afterwards'. All goosh and no dough.

quote:


Whatever, those were three very horny lines, my dear VC.

By my count they were one and a half lines. Perhaps they were so hot they made you lose the ability to count?


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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 4:55:07 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		I don't do counting, VC. Counting is for girls, woofters and North Americans.

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RE: Time to Make the Doughnuts... - 4/5/2011 4:59:56 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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Ok, this has got to be the most bizarre, yet successful, analogy for WIITWD I have ever seen.  And I'm a writer; I get paid to make this stuff up.
 

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