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Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/5/2011 5:00:46 PM

Stephan65

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Im a 40yr old sissy slave not a drag queen,I dress conservatively. Are there many dommes out there looking for a sub such as myself(not too manish in a jumper and tights) for domestic chores and to dominate? Where would be the best place to look and how should I "market" myself to find one,not a one time deal but a LTR?

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/5/2011 5:06:24 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Please go read the FAQ posted at the top of the section. The answers to all of your questions are posted in it. We've gone to quite a bit of trouble to provide you with helpful resources. Please have the courtesy to make use of them.

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/5/2011 9:29:07 PM

OttersSwim

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Miss Sylvere is correct that the FAQ is the best place to begin. To your direct question in the subject line of your post - sissy submissives are not terribly popular among the Mistress population here at CM, and in the overall kink community you will find a very limited pool of Ladies that are interested in taking on someone who is "other gendered" in any way - sissy, trans, crossdresser, etc.

That said, there are some Mistresses out there who are in to, and will consider other gendered submissives. While the pool is quite small, the number of prospective sissy submissives that are actually ready to serve and be part of a relationship is also very limited. My advice would be to approach a potential Mistress just as you would any prospect female - with respect, courtesy, and leave your kink for later conversations. Be a real person first, and get to know people and form friendships just based on who you are as a general person - kink will follow - don't lead with your kink.

Frankly, your best option is to find local events, munches, etc. Allentown looks to me like the largest city near you, and there is a munch there coming up on April 20th where you could go and meet some other kinky folk, plus several events there too - check out Fetlife.com and do a search for Allentown to find people, events, and such in your area.

Good luck! :)

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/5/2011 10:30:18 PM

LadyNTrainer

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Sissy slaves are not in and of themselves popular. I do know some fabulous human beings in my local BDSM community who identify as sissies, cross dressers or transgendered submissives who are very, very popular. Why? Because they are fabulous human beings, warm and friendly and fun, always volunteering to help clean up or set up or bring food to events, and they are good for polite and intelligent conversation. So these people are much sought after and very popular. They have no trouble finding play partners and friends and relationships.

I can think of two in particular whom the local ladies absolutely adore who meet this description. Sadly, I can also think of a whole lot more who show up and desperately try to get someone to play with them without bothering to get to know people first or contribute anything to the conversation or the event. They get sniped at or ignored by the femdom population at large because they are quite annoying and no fun to be around.

Femdoms tend to like or dislike people on their merits as human beings rather than their fetish. If you present yourself as just your fetish and ignore the human being part, you've automatically put yourself in the dislike category. If a sissy slave is all you are, then you probably won't be popular or successful. If you are a decent, friendly, polite, intelligent human being who happens to be a sissy slave, your chances are significantly better.

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/6/2011 9:13:30 PM

cloudboy

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Not here.

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/7/2011 4:08:58 AM

LadyPact

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I would have to agree. At best, there are only ten percent of the female Dominants that I know in the real world that are willing to take on "sissy" type folks.

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/7/2011 7:01:54 AM

OttersSwim

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And yet there -is- hope!

Because while it is true that the pool of Ladies interested in other-gendered submissives is much smaller, and there are a lot of other-gendered people out there online...only a very few of them are actually involved in the real-life scene. At Thunder in the Mountains last year, I was one of about three other-gendered folk in attendance - out of a crowd of over 500 participants (not sure what the exact attendance of Thunder is, but it was a big-ol-butt-load-o-people!)

To my view, what is really important is not that you identify as other-gendered....what is really important is are you a well rounded, fun, interesting, intelligent, human being, ready to enter a relationship with a Lady and make Her one of the major focus points in your life? Are you fully engaged in the local real-life scene? If you can hit those points rock solid, you will likely never lack for friendships, you will almost certainly find willing play partners, and people who will be interested in helping you to find someone that fits who you are inside for a long-term relationship.

There cannot be enough said about getting involved in your local BDSM scene, IMO. The internet is rotten with people who say they want relationships, but simply are not ready for them - either by life circumstance or by their own direct choices. The folk who are most successful in getting what they want, are the folks who are ready and willing to show up for it in real life.

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/7/2011 7:26:25 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Miss Sylvere is correct that the FAQ is the best place to begin. To your direct question in the subject line of your post - sissy submissives are not terribly popular among the Mistress population here at CM, and in the overall kink community you will find a very limited pool of Ladies that are interested in taking on someone who is "other gendered" in any way - sissy, trans, crossdresser, etc.

That said, there are some Mistresses out there who are in to, and will consider other gendered submissives. While the pool is quite small, the number of prospective sissy submissives that are actually ready to serve and be part of a relationship is also very limited. My advice would be to approach a potential Mistress just as you would any prospect female - with respect, courtesy, and leave your kink for later conversations. Be a real person first, and get to know people and form friendships just based on who you are as a general person - kink will follow - don't lead with your kink.

Frankly, your best option is to find local events, munches, etc. Allentown looks to me like the largest city near you, and there is a munch there coming up on April 20th where you could go and meet some other kinky folk, plus several events there too - check out Fetlife.com and do a search for Allentown to find people, events, and such in your area.

Good luck! :)

I agree with all of the above. I am one of those rare fem Dommes who love sissys and the transgendered in general. One huge advantage in getting to know your local community is that you will find other sissys. Building a good sissy support group will hugely increase your chances of success. I would also try FetLife, that have to have at least one sissy group.

Other sissys will not just support you, but can also teach you the many skills required to be a good sissy. Believe me, it is an art form. Mastering the basics of being a good all around maid and cook, as well as a good personal care provider, should keep you busy while you search.

Good luck.

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RE: Are sissy slaves popular? - 4/7/2011 10:05:11 AM

Stephan65

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Thank you for all your advice it has been a great help to me...Stephan

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