RE: Will this thread explode? (Full Version)

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ashjor911 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/7/2011 5:04:29 PM)

I think the topic is beyound tears now after JstAnotherSub story & angelikaJ story,
Let me tell you my story:
young boy I lived a skinny boy, got into my teens & I started to look like a young man
untill I was 23, I had to drop out of college & come home after i dropped out & before i can go home there was 3 monthes
I was : 85 kg
when i got to Cairo International airport & put myself on the scale
bam I was almost 50 kg about 49.
the thing is my eating is not changed, but after seeing 4 doctors they all agreed that its my deep thinking that keeps me below 50 kg.
from 23-till now i did not gain anything,
you may say lucky you huh ? Hell no.
i have a bad circulation & my hands & feet get cold 3/4 of the year,
I have to wear thick socks in atumn, winter and spring.
my hands & my fingers got sollown every winter I can not bend them to the end & make a fist of my hands,
& i live in the Middle East, I would die If i was in canada or sweeden the past winter.

lucky me my ass!
althou i am asmoker, a regular one. with almost 10 years of experiance all kinds of tobaco,
but i started smoking as a teen & i gain weight at that time.
I know I am thin & i know i have to gain weight but I can not!!
no matter how hard i try I can not gain weight.
I think it would be lovely that past winter if I had someone to keep me from freezing to death.




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/7/2011 7:28:36 PM)

I was doing really really good on healthy eating and exercise, and then stuff in my life started going wonky, mentally and health wise, and I had a break down, and I went to the ER for chest pains one night after a particularly stressful evening.


After that I was like shit, I have had 4 mental break downs, small ones true, where I completely went apeshit and tried to seriously hurt myself* thank you Daddy for not allowing it and stepping in* and I need some comfort food.


I went completely off my regimen, and then I stopped working out once the serious pain shit and falling down started, come to find out I have a slipped disk in my lower spine, so low down it's almost not the spine any more, and it's what's been causing the severe pain.


I told myself 2 weeks ago enough is enough, get back to healthy eating and I am finding it soooooooooooooo hard. I keep telling myself well I am hungry and ............. food is right there, it makes more sense to eat............... than go hungry, cause there's no other healthy food in the house since we can't afford groceries.

In fact one day we were by home town buffet a few days before my self imposed get back on the wagon day, and I asked my family you wanna go out to eat one more time before I put my nose back to the grindstone, and yes I pigged out. I'm not going into details, but it was quite an example of over eating.


I'm finding it extremely hard to get myself back on the health track this time around, and the constant pain I am in all the time makes exercise a bitch. I'm sure I am gaining back all that wonderful weight I lost too, eating crazily and randomly and with out discipline. Shame too cause I was down to 305, from 330.

I am working on being able to do water therapy and aerobics and stuff, since it's the only thing I can really do right now with the slipped disk and sciatica making every move an step and to bear weight nearly un bearable some days.


But no , you're not crazy for having dueling voices in side you competing for who'll you'll listen to and whom you won't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I am a designer so to speak, i like making the plan and getting all psyched up but then when it comes to execution, i suck.  I will do it for a bit then i lose my mojo and the end result either seems too far away, too painful, too much effort and then i start with the well one day of missed work out won't hurt or one lunch sub instead of a chicken salad won't throw me off (my best excuse for this is ------------->  i am just mixing things up lol so i can lose faster  (oy vey).  I told my friend the other day that i have two very different people inside of me and one overpowers the other.  I thought she would think i have lost my mind lol but she said you know, i know exactly what you are talking about. 





Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/7/2011 7:58:40 PM)

I disagree that size 16 is fat. I was a size 16 when I was 16, and I was skinny.

I did. I liked myself when I was 16, I never did not like myself, or my body, or have poor self esteem, not really, not till I was 18 and on up to till this very day. My body rocked, I was fit and I had great breasts to go with a rocking bod, I was incredibly good looking, and knew it if I may be so self absorbed to say so. If I could keep my age and where I am in life now, but have that teenaged body and good health, no back injury, no slipped disk, no bad knee, etc etc, back, I'd do it in a heart beat.



quote:

ORIGINAL: IceDemeter

I am a fat chick (current size 16), and have been since childhood. I've also been quite comfortable with myself and my body since I got out of teen-hood (seriously - did anyone like themself as a teen?!?)





soul2share -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/7/2011 8:11:22 PM)

I have thyroid issues, and take maintenance meds too, so that makes weight loss difficult.  According to the charts, I'm borderline "morbidly" obese, but doctors have never used the term to describe me.  I'm a funny sort of chubby......my problem area is my belly and my butt......I have a bit of a pooch, and a bigger butt.  I can never get clothes that fit me well, the tops are too big because I hate constrictive things around my midsection, and in order to fit the whole apple area, I have to get stuff to fit my waist, which means the thighs and hips usually get all stretched out and don't fit well.  We won't even discuss the length of the legs either!  I'm 5'4, and go about 180. 

Myself, I hate my body, and my self esteem is usually pretty low.  But I've tried to accept myself as I am.....I'm more than the exterior package, and anyone who has taken the time to see beyond that can tell you so.  My sisters got the looks, I got the brains......really!

Anyone dumb enough to make any comments about my body or appearance soon find themselves on the wrong end of my tongue.  Honestly, I can't say it's happened very often, but I think that's just the strength of my own personality.  I endured some physical and mental abuse growing up, we had a few rough years with my middle sister, and while at the time I didn't realize it, I tended to make myself a target for the anger in my family in order to keep the peace.  I grew up hearing that no one would ever kiss me because I had a "faceful of pimples"....hell, what teenager didn't?  After I had my son, the weight never went away, and I got "Well, why don't you go work out at the gym or something?" from my ex.  Yeah, right, after working all day, then having to take care of not only my son, but the lazy husband who couldn't even be bothered to pick up said son from daycare.  And I weighed even less then than I do now.....I was like a 14.  Now, depending on the cut and style, I can be anywhere from a 16 to a 22.

Personally, the whole idea of the "perfect body" is BS.  The "fashion" magazines, the media, they all help to perpetuate the whole BBW myth.  Think about it....when a heavyset woman wins an award for her performance, inevitably, the articles will make some mention of her weight, or her terrible lifetime and/or childhood.  They may hide the comments, but they will be there.  When acceptably thin women win, they focus on her achievements.  Look at all the crappy rags in the checkout aisle screaming headlines about someone's weight.  Kirsty Alley springs to mind.  Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig commercials also kill me......like there was no life before losing "all those pounds". 

I have my good days and bad days.....I don't have a mirror other than the bathroom cabinet one, and I've never had scales.  For the most part, I'm happy in my skin.  All of it.....[;)]




DesFIP -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 5:55:54 AM)

There's one other thing that hasn't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and men who have never looked at you sexually will start doing so. And it's scary when every relationship in your life changes because of 20 pounds. I don't want the pharmacist who I have been chatting to for years to suddenly start eying me. Or the mailman or the clerk where I buy my office supplies. It's just too weird.




ranja -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 6:13:29 AM)

Des, you make such a brilliant observation, i think part of me gaining weight was indeed to get the sexual focus off myself... i have never been short of 'offers' on account of these big hooters i carry and having a man working away for weeks on end might have put me in very tempting situations... it was rather saver to be fat... additionally i started dressing totally boring aswell... and then i became a bit unhappy about my own drabness really and my husband obviously lost some interest too.(ETA all interest actually it was crap)
still i never really thought i was too fat

Anyway, over 40 a woman should appreciate and know how to handle any male attention coming her way... it will get less and less the older you get nomatter how slim you might get yourself
i say enjoy the flirting from the man where you buy your office supplies while it lasts... perks




angelikaJ -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 6:24:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's one other thing that hasn't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and men who have never looked at you sexually will start doing so. And it's scary when every relationship in your life changes because of 20 pounds. I don't want the pharmacist who I have been chatting to for years to suddenly start eying me. Or the mailman or the clerk where I buy my office supplies. It's just too weird.


That is always a part of my vulnerability as a thinner person; being considered sexually attractive to strangers.
It is one of my struggles with the inner and outer landscape.

It also is the main reason why I offered in my first post on the thread my observation that many women who are obese have a history of sexual abuse.

I know this from female friends, as well as discussions with some men I know.




peachgirl -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 8:53:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's one other thing that hasn't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and men who have never looked at you sexually will start doing so. And it's scary when every relationship in your life changes because of 20 pounds. I don't want the pharmacist who I have been chatting to for years to suddenly start eying me. Or the mailman or the clerk where I buy my office supplies. It's just too weird.


Even as a teenage that is developing...I know that gaining weight at that time for me was a self-defense mechanism of sorts. Unwanted male attention at that time terrified me.




LaTigresse -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 9:04:02 AM)

TFB, if you are having pain and problems with sciatica please investigate yoga. There are multiple poses that an over weight person can do, or modify and it dramatically helps that particular condition.

Here is a link.

http://www.wikihealth.com/Yoga_poses_for_sciatica

If the instructions there are not thorough enough for you, just google them until you find instructions that make sense.

Seriously, the benefits are well worth the effort and happen very quickly.




hlen5 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 9:21:57 AM)

Ashjor,
You might want to investigate the effects of smoking on your circulatory system. Better blood flow could keep you warmer.




sexyred1 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 11:01:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's one other thing that hasn't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and men who have never looked at you sexually will start doing so. And it's scary when every relationship in your life changes because of 20 pounds. I don't want the pharmacist who I have been chatting to for years to suddenly start eying me. Or the mailman or the clerk where I buy my office supplies. It's just too weird.



Hmmmm...I am over 40 and not thin and I don't feel invisible. Again, I think that these negative comments do nothing but promote self loathing in larger women and reinforce negative stereotypes.

I still get the same amount of sexual attention I did when I was 19 and thinner. I do believe it is in your attitude, how you carry yourself, if you look people in the eye, and how you project your aura.

And I agree with ranja, all attention is good. The day I stopped getting leered at is the day I will be sad.




LaTigresse -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 11:11:33 AM)

I do not believe that 'all attention is good'. In my mind, anyone that really believes that, has some other issues they need to deal with. I also believe that there is less positive attention given to fat people. I was thin and got A LOT of attention, positive and less so. I got fat but did not perceive myself as being fat or less hot, however I did get much less attention. I got thinner, get more attention.

Yes, how you carry yourself does make a difference but we are deluding ourselves if we feel that the general population finds us as attractive at 250# as we were at 150# or 115#.

Personally, I don't give a shit. I do however, acknowledge it.

The question is less, whether or not we are 'hot' but why we might, if indeed it is the individual's case, want to 'hide' inside our fat? What can be done to heal that need, and move forward to a healthier life. Both physically and emotionally.




ashjor911 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 1:31:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Ashjor,
You might want to investigate the effects of smoking on your circulatory system. Better blood flow could keep you warmer.


ok mom
can I play on my Xbox please please please?

I know that helen, the damn Warning gets bigger every year.
Its not that I can not stop, I wont stop.

I think homer Simpson will agree with me [:D]




sexyred1 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 1:45:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I do not believe that 'all attention is good'. In my mind, anyone that really believes that, has some other issues they need to deal with. I also believe that there is less positive attention given to fat people. I was thin and got A LOT of attention, positive and less so. I got fat but did not perceive myself as being fat or less hot, however I did get much less attention. I got thinner, get more attention.

Yes, how you carry yourself does make a difference but we are deluding ourselves if we feel that the general population finds us as attractive at 250# as we were at 150# or 115#.

Personally, I don't give a shit. I do however, acknowledge it.

The question is less, whether or not we are 'hot' but why we might, if indeed it is the individual's case, want to 'hide' inside our fat? What can be done to heal that need, and move forward to a healthier life. Both physically and emotionally.


I beg to differ. Perhaps the fact that I am a redhead who has always gotten attention, made me just used to getting it. Whatever my weight. And the fact that I am used to and like attention, does not mean I have any deep seated psychological "issues" to deal with. It is just a fact of life.

I did not think I had to elaborate on my comment about all attention being good; obviously intelligent people are aware that some attention is negative.

I find it intriguing that you relate having a positive self image to having issues.





DesFIP -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 1:48:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's one other thing that hasn't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and men who have never looked at you sexually will start doing so. And it's scary when every relationship in your life changes because of 20 pounds. I don't want the pharmacist who I have been chatting to for years to suddenly start eying me. Or the mailman or the clerk where I buy my office supplies. It's just too weird.



Hmmmm...I am over 40 and not thin and I don't feel invisible. Again, I think that these negative comments do nothing but promote self loathing in larger women and reinforce negative stereotypes.

I still get the same amount of sexual attention I did when I was 19 and thinner. I do believe it is in your attitude, how you carry yourself, if you look people in the eye, and how you project your aura.

And I agree with ranja, all attention is good. The day I stopped getting leered at is the day I will be sad.


I think it's wonderful that you never struggled with men objectifying you. I started developing around age 10. It was very scary at that age having garbagemen shout obscenities at me. Becoming overweight and less attractive was a lot safer. At 14 or 16, all the other girls are going through it and there's safety in numbers. But at an age when you aren't interested in boys and still play with dolls? Not a good thing.




sexyred1 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 2:01:06 PM)

I had men objectifying me at a very young age, as I developed early as well.

I even had some weird situations involving teachers and a family friend.

However, I think the fact that I was a smart kid and came from a happy home where I was able to discuss this stuff with my parents, served me well.

And of course, we all felt weird when construction workers yelled at us, but you do get over it, or one would hope so, as an adult.

And if you gain weight to get over it, that is indeed sad.




LaTigresse -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 2:16:46 PM)

Perhaps you simply have a different opinion of what positive attention is versus my opinion on it.

If you view the "weird situations' with teachers and a family friend as positive attention, then yes, I do question the mental/emotional soundness behind it.




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 6:57:57 PM)

There are chubby chasers out there who'll be attracted to you initially only cause you're fat, and they go after the fat women, and not all men treat fat ladies as invisible, some, and not just chubby chasers like fat ladies too, but mostly Ido think fat women can be invisible on the sexual appeal radar to most.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's one other thing that hasn't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and men who have never looked at you sexually will start doing so. And it's scary when every relationship in your life changes because of 20 pounds. I don't want the pharmacist who I have been chatting to for years to suddenly start eying me. Or the mailman or the clerk where I buy my office supplies. It's just too weird.

quote:

't been discussed. If we're fat, we're invisible and that's safer. Lose weight and me




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 7:00:44 PM)

Thank you, I need to get back into some PE, cause I can't just not do anything cause I am in pain, I was to pleased with the weight loss. I went from 330 to 305.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

TFB, if you are having pain and problems with sciatica please investigate yoga. There are multiple poses that an over weight person can do, or modify and it dramatically helps that particular condition.

Here is a link.

http://www.wikihealth.com/Yoga_poses_for_sciatica

If the instructions there are not thorough enough for you, just google them until you find instructions that make sense.

Seriously, the benefits are well worth the effort and happen very quickly.

quote:

ng weight at that time for me was a self-defense mechanism of sorts. Unwanted male




hlen5 -> RE: Will this thread explode? (4/8/2011 7:07:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911


quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Ashjor,
You might want to investigate the effects of smoking on your circulatory system. Better blood flow could keep you warmer.


ok mom
can I play on my Xbox please please please?

I know that helen, the damn Warning gets bigger every year.
Its not that I can not stop, I wont stop.

I think homer Simpson will agree with me [:D]


Alright I've had enough of you, Go to your room!![;)]

ETA: (Note I didn't TELL you to quit!)




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