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Moving from sub to Dom....... - 4/7/2011 12:24:40 AM

joeleyre

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/17/2010
From: Kansas
Status: offline

I am one of those rare (or at least i think so) CM users that has BOTH a sub, and Dom profile. I have been put out on front street about this from both ends of the spectrum, as well.

I have 12 years experience in the lifestyle, wiht five of thise years being in a 24/7, TPE relationship, but all of them as a sub.

I think I have an amazing amount of knowlege in BDSM to teach others my ways. This isn't something that turns on and off for me. when i say I am 24/7, I really mean I am 24/7, and I don't need whips, chains, other Dom/mes, or other subs within my arms reach for it to be that way.

True submission is a gift...I have learned that.

Taking control of domronr is a gift. I have also learned that.

Both are one helluva lot of responsability, no matter which way you are going.

Why si it that this feels so right to me, but feels so wrong at the same time?

< Message edited by joeleyre -- 4/7/2011 12:32:44 AM >

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RE: Moving from sub to Dom....... - 4/7/2011 1:30:29 AM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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You must slay the dragon at the end of the level using the magic ring you found at stage four. Then you may progress and find the Tome of Knowledge. Show this tome to the grand wizard, and he will decipher it's ancient text and recite your answer.

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RE: Moving from sub to Dom....... - 4/7/2011 3:14:58 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

OP, you're going to have a really hard time convincing Me that you consider yourself 'in the lifestyle 24/7' while not in a dynamic with someone else. That's not to say that I don't believe a person can't acquire experience while not partnered if they are involved in their local kink community, but 24/7? Sorry. No. It's one thing to have a mindset. It's another thing to carry out that mindset as it relates to interaction with someone else. Dominance or submission just isn't something that can exist on an island.

As to why it feels right and wrong to you at the same time, I can't help you there. That's something that you will have to come to terms with.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Moving from sub to Dom....... - 4/7/2011 6:16:06 AM

joeleyre

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/17/2010
From: Kansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OP, you're going to have a really hard time convincing Me that you consider yourself 'in the lifestyle 24/7' while not in a dynamic with someone else. That's not to say that I don't believe a person can't acquire experience while not partnered if they are involved in their local kink community, but 24/7? Sorry. No. It's one thing to have a mindset. It's another thing to carry out that mindset as it relates to interaction with someone else. Dominance or submission just isn't something that can exist on an island.

As to why it feels right and wrong to you at the same time, I can't help you there. That's something that you will have to come to terms with.

It really isn't hard for me to be 24/7, as far as the mindset goes. Let's just say i had a messed up past, and was finally taken up by a Domme and She taught me how too be a decent human being. Jail, Rehab, and Prison coulnd't do it, but fror whatever reason, She did.

Now i just apply those teachings to everyday life. So yeah, not 24/7 in any technical sence, but still, i consider it 24/7 due to the fact it was a lifestyler with 20 years experience that took control of me, and straightened my life out.

It's a mental thing...I don't go walking casually around with whips and chains. But yes, i do believe some people are just naturally better than others...It's not anything to do with race, religion, or sexuality, but in my opinion, life is pretty much like a hierarchy.

@NocternalStalker Nice secne of humor. If nothing else, i get laugh out of this thread.

< Message edited by joeleyre -- 4/7/2011 6:19:52 AM >

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RE: Moving from sub to Dom....... - 4/7/2011 6:46:23 AM

Sunny27

Posts: 140
Joined: 10/9/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Polyamory exists for those that have yet to cross my path. *Wink*
quote:

Polyamory is for those that don't want to stay with one person their whole like.
I'm bisexual until myself and My Dom get married in the next two years then my eyes will only be on him,
I have never really had a n experience of being with a girl for more than a day!!
I have been straight from the age of 16 when I went on my first date with a guy.
When I was kissed 2 years ago by a girl I thought, wow I need to just check out a few girls before I get married I do want a husband and four kids.
I would never cheat on my husband with a girl or guy its justnot in my makeup!
I have to say thatmaking yourself to be someone who lives it 24/7 unless you live under the same roof with other girls then yes you could say you live it 24/7!

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RE: Moving from sub to Dom....... - 4/7/2011 7:06:12 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Not sure what your question is here, OP.

The why does it feel so right, why does it feel so wrong? As LadyP said, only you can answer that.

It seems you have a difficult past and I will assume have much to be resolved b/c of that past. These things take time. I believe a person can make positive changes in their life, but it rarely happens over night. So be patient with yourself.

As far as having both a dom and sub side, you don't have to tell me. As I mentioned in a post just a few days ago, I have had that going on for over 40 years. Try usign the search function and the word "switch" -- I think it will pull up some threads you could find useful.

As far as transitioning from sub to dom, you are not the first to do this. There was a time (not all that long ago) when many groups required all "real" Masters to begin their training as a submissive. There are some group that still require this, though it is no longer the norm.

I will say from my own experience, I am a better Domme for having a sub side, and a better sub for having a Domme side.

Good luck with your journey.

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