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RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:45:15 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		Would your peers feel better if you ran the water forcefully and said "Get in the tub now bitch!"
heh
Followed by "Don't make me use the loofa!"
lol
Your peers need to soak in a hot tub to relax if they're so bunched up about your subbie's bathing habits.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:58:03 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I remember when my Master gave me a bubble bath and then a full body massage while wanting nothing in return. He knows it's hard for me to only receive and he is determined that I learn. If he wants to do something very special for me then that is his right. I do however plan to return the bath and massage next week on his birthday. 

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 3:05:41 PM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		subs, submit to your Dominant.
Dominants, love your sub as yourself

Nice way to show your love to your sub.

I'll have to keep that in mind for when I find a sub.

Mr. Pete

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 3:15:25 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		My dom draws a bath for me every so often and I LOVE it.  He's just showing me how much he cares for me.

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 3:44:18 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


I think your girl is lucky!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 3:48:09 PM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		Peers don't agree? So what you are the Dom! Do what you like, if it feels good to You do it.

_____________________________

Kink Forever
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Docents_of_Museum/

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 3:55:41 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Iron Bear, thanks for the great quote! 
quote:

Firstly you and you lone decide who you recognise as your peers....
and if you want your submissive to put a strap on do you from behind, more power to you, making your own reality is what being dominant is all about.

That said, you want to spoil her, (and trust me, yourself as well) go down to Bath and Body or something similar, even some drug stores now have  them and get a pair of those bath gloves, they are made of a soft version of a scrubby pad.  I love being washed all over with them, especially my back...and she will as well unless her skin is super sentitive.

I mean come on, if you can't spoil her once in a while, whats the fun in having her?

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 4:00:50 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Cruelty is not the only way to impress a woman's slavery upon her.

Remember the saying.. You can win more flies with honey than salt?

You are her Dom/Master... you use what ever pleases you to enforce your control over that woman. 

I do not understand, personally, the mentality that love and kindness makes you a weak owner...

Versatility always makes you more adaptable, and stronger.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 4:37:20 PM   
DaimonDog


Posts: 14
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Would your peers feel better if you ran the water forcefully and said "Get in the tub now bitch!"
heh
Followed by "Don't make me use the loofa!"
lol
Your peers need to soak in a hot tub to relax if they're so bunched up about your subbie's bathing habits.



(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 4:58:48 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		[threadhijack]
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Iron Bear, thanks for the great quote! 
quote:

Firstly you and you lone decide who you recognise as your peers....
and if you want your submissive to put a strap on do you from behind, more power to you, making your own reality is what being dominant is all about.



Can't you see it CD, A new controversial thread, "My Peers are better than your Peers"?

[/threadhijack]




< Message edited by IronBear -- 5/8/2006 5:01:07 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 5:00:05 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


I remember the first time Master ran me a bubble bath with candles.....I was asleep on the couch and He woke me gently and led me to the bathroom. There was a very full bath with bubbles, candles and my favourite drink. NO ONE had ever done that for me before, I was speechless. He helped me undress and get into the bath and then He left me to relax and soak for as long as I liked.

He buys me flowers, we share lots of kisses and cuddles. Who says there's no romance in D/s When I broke my toe a couple months ago He was looking after me - oh how uncomfortable I felt not being able to do the things I normally did for Him! Like pita I find it hard to receive both care and pleasure without wanting to give in return. However in His mind it's something I need to learn so I will be good and obey

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 5:21:18 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		My Lord once gave me a bath, complete with using a salt scrub and shaving me.  Of course, my flesh was a little raw with fingernail and knife scratches.  It was all rather sensuously sadistic.  It certainly didn’t make him less dominant in my eyes.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 7:06:01 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


AND why should you care???!!!!  They don't walk in your shoes and you don't walk in theirs!

What matters is that your happy with own steps and those steps do well for you and those you care about.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 8:21:50 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		My first Dominant made me breakfast every Sunday I can recall. I was allowed to sleep in on that day and he brought my breakfast to me in bed. He climbed in with me < breakfast was actually for two> and then we would lay in bed for the morning and read the newspaper together.

In my eyes, that was an expression of his Dominance. It made me feel very special and very appreciated. Where is it written that submissives are not entitled to be pampered if that is the choice of the Dominant ? What's the difference between tender aftercare and doing something special just because you want to? Both are loving acts.

                mbmbn



_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 8:33:48 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Would your peers feel better if you ran the water forcefully and said "Get in the tub now bitch!"
heh
Followed by "Don't make me use the loofa!"
lol
Your peers need to soak in a hot tub to relax if they're so bunched up about your subbie's bathing habits.


I love your posts!! 

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 8:51:31 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Do what makes you feel happy.  What goes on behind closed doors between you and your slave/sub is not for your peers to decide.  If you think they will be disapproving, why bother telling them in the first place?
 
Vendaval
 

 


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 11:13:35 PM   
skinnykitten


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		This is slightly off the point, but I recall a few years back when I was watching the movie 'Secretary' with an aquaintance who could best be described as anti-bdsm.  I don't know how many here have seen this movie, but anyway... Throughout the movie this friend - let's call her Jane  was railing against Leigh's character, how she was allowing herself to be taken advantage of / abused by Mr. Gray, whatever - you know the drill, why would she want him, he's sick, she's not getting anything from him but abuse etc etc.  Towards the end of the movie Mr. Gray requires Leigh to prove her devotion to their relationship.  He orders her to stay put on a chair until he returns for her, ends up being a relatively humiliating ordeal.  He doesn't return for quite a few days  (Jane's commentary:  WTF is wrong with her, why doesn't she just get up, why would she put up with this, God, he's such an A***hole).  Eventually, Leigh passes out from exhaustion, Mr. Gray comes in, picks her up and takes her to his house.  The next shot is of Leigh in the bathtub, totally exhausted but blissed out, and Mr. Gray is washing her hair, attentive and gentle.  At this point, my friend Jane just says, 'oh'.  It was a very telling 'oh'.  The penny had dropped. 
 
Long winded for sure, and, sin of sins, taken from a movie and not a real life experience : )  My point though, is that D/s relationships are essentially symbiotic.  It's not a one way street.  The dominant energy feeds off the submissive energy, and vice versa.  As such, anything that makes a submissive feel special or appreciated is only going to enhance the dynamic, not undermine it.  The act of running a bath with candles is simply that; a demonstration of care that the one has for the other.  Kind acts such as this will, if anything, replenish and invigorate the dynamic.  Example:  I know for myself, when my partner does something sweet for me, it only makes me love him and appreciate him more.  It also reinforces in my mind the value he places upon me, which just makes me even more determined to live up to that high esteem.

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Bath and candles - 5/9/2006 5:44:17 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Can I try and make it simple?

I consider myself a fairly nice and giving person.

I want the people in my life to also be fairly nice and giving people.

Thus, we will tend to do fairly nice and giving things for eachother.

I think people take Ds and Ms and let it really complicate and cloud what they "can" or "should" do in their lives.  For me it's not always about proving devotion, expressing love, or forcing service, or allowing service, or signalling who is in charge.  Those are all THERE and certainly a part of it, but we're not really THINKING about that when we do something nice.  When I go to the store and think "Oh, he would LOVE that" I'm not thinking "and it makes me such a good submissive to do this and I can show my love to him and express what good attention I pay to him, blah blah blah."

No, I think "Oh he would LOVE that" grab it and then look back down on my grocery list, happy and hoping there would be some good cuts of meat to pick up.

We're just nice people and thus we tend to do nice things. 

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 5/9/2006 5:47:24 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Bath and candles - 5/9/2006 5:48:10 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		My Dom always makes the coffee.  Does that make him less dominant?  I don't think so.  I fix breakfast.  I serve the coffee.  Does that make me sub enough? 

Do what works for you.  Don't worry about other's opinions.



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Bath and candles - 5/9/2006 9:14:29 AM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		Whats wrong with that?  Everyone could use a little pampering now and then...just make sure the sub desearves it and fully appriciates it.  Whats wrong with a dom taking good care of this property?

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 40
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