LadyElaine
Posts: 36
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
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l If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is
even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he
sent to his sister.
She then sent it to a radio station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to
me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool... So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial 'water
heater'; this $20,000 piece of equipment sucks water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all
of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This
only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I
don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However,
the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my
dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing
in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed
me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the
chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my ass
was swollen shut.
Love Rob
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Rob's Jellyfish - 
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