Can you switch without switching?

Can you switch without switching? (Full Version)

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MissImmortalPain -> Can you switch without switching? (4/7/2011 9:38:15 PM)
I need the opinion of a dominant person but did not want to ask just a Dom or just a Domme. I need as many answers as I can get. I was challenged by a realationship with a submissive that was not really submissive and it left me in the end very not dominant. So I have taken up a challange to be collared and truely be submissive to the only Man that I could ever do this for. I know at my core that I am a dominant person but, for reasons I can not explain, I want to submit to him. I am wondering if any others have ever had this happen. I don't want to turn this into a rant but I truely believe you should never ask from another what you can not do yourself. So could being collared help, or harm to who I am. Thank you for any advice offered.

pwnerandpwned -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/7/2011 10:15:50 PM)
Without knowing you extremely closely, I don't think anyone could really make an accurate guess on if something like this would be more likely to help or hurt "who you are". As a general answer, I don't see why something like that would have any specific reason of causing harm to your identity/lifestyle (or whatever it is you're exactly worried about harming). As a more literal interpretation of the question: How can doing something that is you hurt who you are? Only by not doing what is part of your desires/likes/interests could you harm who you are. :)

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/7/2011 11:04:59 PM)
Thank you for your response. Maybe I stated the question wrong. I think I might be wondering it it could lead to self doubt.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/7/2011 11:54:34 PM)
YOU are the controller of your thoughts, feelings and actions. You will only think, feel or do what you allow yourself to. Go ahead and have yourself a yummy submissive phase, and you can return to the dom side (we have lobster! [:)] ) later. Enjoy!

SailingBum -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/7/2011 11:54:39 PM)
I will never be someone else's Bitch.... nuff said BadOne

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/7/2011 11:56:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum I will never be someone else's Bitch.... nuff said BadOne Oh darn. There goes my weekend. POUT

LadyPact -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 12:00:46 AM)
Years ago, I knew a man who had been Dominant in the scene for years. After more than a decade as a Master, he met the woman that made him want to submit. The last time I saw him (them) I was quite happy to see the progress. It is watching this transformation that allows Me to say that I know such things are possible. I don't belong to the 'all women are submissive deep down' camp. I have yet to meet a man that actually inspired submission in Me and most that try, I find quite silly. I see most of them as fools. At the same time, I do understand the premise of, if it is not impossible, then it might be probable. I can not discount it entirely because I have watched it happen to others. The man that I mentioned in My response.... He is now happily in service to a wonderful woman, There were some folks who questioned his decision in doing so. He brushed them off, happy in the path he chose to follow. That is what you should do. Listen to what is inside of you and not the external sources. If this is where your heart leads you........ follow.

SailingBum -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 12:10:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum I will never be someone else's Bitch.... nuff said BadOne Oh darn. There goes my weekend. POUT Cmere my pretty BadOne

BitaTruble -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 12:16:05 AM)
You can change your behavior but not your nature. Wearing a collar might help you to determine where your truth lies no matter what the outcome. Good luck to you. :)

stellauk -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 4:12:59 AM)
Some people can switch and find fulfillment in either role. I know I can and was at some stage encouraged and trained to do so by a domme and it didn't affect the dynamic between us. Others can't for whatever reason, they just don't feel it and have issues identifying themselves with being 'on the other side'. But one thing is for sure, it can only add a new dimension to you as a person, not take anything away from you. Enjoy.

DesFIP -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 5:24:07 AM)
I just say I'm submissive to one. Apparently you've found your one. What's wrong with that? The only thing that concerns me is that you are doing this for the wrong reasons. One, because you picked the wrong person to dominate, so now you feel you can't dominate anyone else even though you have dominated others in the past. And two, that bit about a challenge. So how long do you have to submit before you feel you passed the test? And what happens to the relationship then, when it isn't a challenge any longer?

ranja -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 6:29:08 AM)
i don't think you can switch without switching... try to turn the light on without flicking the switch i do think in many cases it is perfectly acceptable even very good to ask things of people that you can not do yourself i also think you are playing games rather than living in reality but then most of us seem to have that problem

leadership527 -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 9:40:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain Thank you for your response. Maybe I stated the question wrong. I think I might be wondering it it could lead to self doubt. I wouldn't worry about this causing self-doubt. You already have it. I'd be looking at "why". In my opinion, you'd do well to avoid statements like, "at my core that I am a dominant person". As soon as you start applying labels like that then you cut off your options and then the disparity between who you actually are and who the label says you are will cause no end of trouble. Why not just be you.. a complicated human being with a lot of sides and facets to be explored?

PetiteOralSub -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 10:15:03 AM)
Relationships are, well, relative I believe. Take the submissive who is the Alpha at work, who leads and nutures and Dominates those in her charge, for the good of her pack\family\company, what have you. In those relationships, that sexual submissive, is dominant. But in relationship to his\her Dominant, nothing has changed. I have never topped, don't have any sexual fantasies about doing so, but if Master needed me to Top another sub for his pleasure, I'm sure I would, and not in any way feel less submissive to him, or feel a sudden urge to switch. It's all relative.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 10:21:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain Thank you for your response. Maybe I stated the question wrong. I think I might be wondering it it could lead to self doubt. Of course it can lead to self doubt, if you don't resolve your issues with having a submissive side. To me, that is the issue. It's one I understand well, it took me YEARS to recognize I had a submissive side. At that point in time, I viewed submissive as weak, passive, too soft, too trusting, too selfless. And this was not how I could view myself at all. Then I became a mother and learned that nurturing, care giving, selflessness, living in the here and now (instead of being so incredibly goal oriented), were are virtues I needed to cultivate. To say this realization has made me a more well rounded person is the understatement of my life. Ask yourself why you even think having a submissive side will harm you instead of enhance you.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 11:55:39 AM)
Actuallly I have dommed since this happened,but I had not considered what would happen to the realationship later. Thank you for reminding me that he was my friend first, and that I need to consider not only what my own, but his reaction will be later.

IrishMist -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 1:57:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain I need the opinion of a dominant person but did not want to ask just a Dom or just a Domme. I need as many answers as I can get. I was challenged by a realationship with a submissive that was not really submissive and it left me in the end very not dominant. So I have taken up a challange to be collared and truely be submissive to the only Man that I could ever do this for. I know at my core that I am a dominant person but, for reasons I can not explain, I want to submit to him. I am wondering if any others have ever had this happen. I don't want to turn this into a rant but I truely believe you should never ask from another what you can not do yourself. So could being collared help, or harm to who I am. Thank you for any advice offered. I don't believe that it will hurt or harm; but rather enhance either side you choose to stand on.

DarkSteven -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/8/2011 4:39:10 PM)
I don't quite follow. You're afraid of losing a part of yourself, but it seems to me that the only things that could happen would be that you discover a part of yourself that was previously hidden, or that you grow a new part of you. Or, of course, that it just plain doesn't work. Go for it.

artemiss -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/9/2011 8:55:34 AM)
Thank you DesFIP, Was beginning to think I was the only one who saw issues with this mentality. If you feel submissive to this person, if this course is making you happy, roll with it. Different people inspire a whole range of emotions. Each relationship is creates it's own dynamic. And everyone has multiple sides to their personality. Allowing all sides to surface is only going to make you a more well rounded person. That being said, if... If you are doing this out of self doubt, or to prove something, I would suggest stepping back for awhile. Do some soul searching and some healing. Come back to this when you head is in a better space.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Can you switch without switching? (4/9/2011 5:53:37 PM)
I want to thank everyone that has offered advice. So far things seem to be going very well. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it might be. It may just be something about him but I offer to him everything I would expect from a sub. It has not only not lead to self doubt so far it has made me feel a little better about what kind of domme I am. Again thank you.

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