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Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 5:14:41 AM

bltslutforuse123

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Joined: 1/20/2011
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I have to admit I am a porn and BDSM addict and have been caught several times surfing sites and I know my Mistress would not be happy if she knew the extent of the problem.
To say I am out of control is an understatement!
I have heard there are programs/devices that can be attached or used in order to monitor activity. Does anyone here use them and how far reaching can they be in reference to available access.
They say the first step is acceptance...and I know I have "issues" lol
What I was thinking was to offer my Mistress this as an option to control and monitor my behaviour, which would allow me to truly be the submissive she wants me to be.
I have messed up a lot of things in my past including a marriage due to this.
I thought trying a different approach (accountability) might be a better solution this time.
I spend alot of time on line in my professional world as well so telling me to "step away from the computer" is not possible or likely.

They are not joking when they dubbed it a Crackberry!!

I want to be a better slave, honestly, and she truly is one I would not want to lose

I think it is ironic I have to come on line to view the replies....but at least I am looking at a different READ this time.

BLT.

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 5:22:13 AM

LadyPact

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There is another thread running on porn addiction right now in the Master's section. It might be worth reading. Here's the link. http://www.collarchat.com/m_3613934/tm.htm

If you live with your Mistress, she could always password lock your computer or set parental controls. Along with that, you might consider a twelve step program to get you additional support.

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 5:42:55 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If you live with your Mistress, she could always password lock your computer or set parental controls. Along with that, you might consider a twelve step program to get you additional support. [/color]

What she said...also solution focused brief therapy could help, as that therapy is to strengthen your willpower and requires you to find out the solution how to get there yourself within those sessions (which you already did to a certain extend with knowing that it is a problem for you).

If I would be on the dominant side and would be your Mistress I guess in the first instance I would use the simple steps, such as taking certain aspects from the computer away that you can't go online, however if it is a real problem and not just a stubborn side of you as you say it is, then I would look in professional help.

My ex has something installed (dont know what it is named) on his computer which means if someone would go on his computer without his knowledge he can see it, even when you wipe out your online track...so if I would be with him I would never be able to be on his computer without him knowing about it (he simply is fussy about his electronic gadgets and has some form of unsolved fear problems from his past, which makes him feel safer to be 100% in control in that respect...and I only figured that out due to a side comment I made following which he mentioned that).

A previous manager from a previous employer (thankfully not my previous manager, she was just a colleague next door) went so far that whatever her staff was doing on their work computer went to their own computer within seconds to read...this then, of course, lead to them getting sacked once that was discovered...

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 7:05:42 AM

crystalclarinet

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Joined: 10/29/2009
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I work at a call center and they can acutally see everything that you do. So much so that they can acutally tap into your computer while you are using it... So yes they can actually see everything that you do, and depending on the program that can acutally visually see what websites and for how long and what you looked at... I have no idea what the cost associated with this type of stuff is, but anywhere I have worked uses it.

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 7:14:43 AM

ranja

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yes, never use your work computer for private stuff, especially not for porn, IT staff can indeed see where you are and always where you have been... there is noway to cover your wanderings on the net

for at home... my Husband knows exactly where i go and how long i stay there... i have to ask for permission to be on and when i overdo it He will put a time-out on it.

if you know you have a weakness you have to put safe guards inplace, ask for help or use your own self discipline to control your habit

ultimately it is your own problem that you yourself have to manage and control

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 8:34:31 AM

DesFIP

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Tell her the truth, ask her to help you find professional help, 12 step groups, etc. Stop lying about it first.

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 8:37:41 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bltslutforuse123

I want to be a better slave, honestly, and she truly is one I would not want to lose

Greetings,

There are keylogger programs that you can install that provide an effective monitoring tool for the other party. They run undetected in the background and provide screenshots of activity that your Mistress can access. In addition, all websites and information manually typed will be logged. That includes passwords, emails, and even chat dialogues. Be careful what you wish for if you're not completely committed to making a change. Best of luck.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 8:46:20 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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You have lost one relationship in the past (your marriage) and by your own admission you know you have a real problem To say I am out of control is an understatement!

Why on earth do you think this problem would improve by giving it to your domme? If you want your current relationship to work, stop trying to recruit her as your sponsor, and go get yourself some help. Making her responsible for YOUR addiction puts all the weight on her, none on you -- nice for awhile. But you know that won't work. It's your issue, only you can own it, only you can work it, only you can resolve it.

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RE: Monitoring my access on line? - 4/9/2011 7:00:50 PM

hematitan

Posts: 49
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quote:

Why on earth do you think this problem would improve by giving it to your domme? If you want your current relationship to work, stop trying to recruit her as your sponsor, and go get yourself some help. Making her responsible for YOUR addiction puts all the weight on her, none on you -- nice for awhile. But you know that won't work. It's your issue, only you can own it, only you can work it, only you can resolve it.

I agree. It sounds like this issue goes beyond a bad habit and into addiction. There's no guarantee that this plan will work, and even if it does, it likely won't address any underlying issues or provide coping mechanisms, making relapse more of a risk, in my opinion. If it's a serious enough problem, and the OP hasn't been able to manage it on their own, professional help or a support group or twelve step program is probably a good thing to try.

Plus, I think it could end up being very unfair to the domme to put responsibility on her. Loved ones of people with addiction or mental illness already often feel like they should be able to do more to help, even if they can't. This domme probably doesn't have experience working with addictions. If this plan doesn't work, it could end up looking like it was a problem with the domination when in reality, it would likely indicate a bigger problem.

Don't get me wrong -- support from loved ones or a dom/me can be hugely beneficial. But it shouldn't be used as a substitute for professional help or assistance from people who are actually trained in dealing with this stuff.

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