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Funks? - 4/9/2011 10:17:14 PM

Asherscorp1

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I was just wondering of any other sub/slaves out there go through periods of time where they just feel in a funk? Failing at daily expectations, feeling scattered or ineffective in service? Why did you feel that way and what did you do to kick back into gear?

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RE: Funks? - 4/9/2011 10:34:34 PM

littlewonder

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aaallll the time.

For me it's because I suffer from clinical depression and I go through flareups that just fuck me up entirely in every single way.

I get through it by his understanding and not pushing me more than what he knows I can handle, listening to me, making sure I get what I need to get me through the rough patch, making sure I get myself through the rough patch by keeping up with things, reminding myself this won't last forever and prayer.

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RE: Funks? - 4/9/2011 11:39:31 PM

myotherself

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yes, absolutely!

I have a job that is extremely stressful and leaves me exhausted and I'm often operating at less than peak performance. He makes allowances for that, but if I'm feeling that I'm a total failure at serving him, I tell him. Usually he will reassure me that what I'm doing is fine, and that he's aware of my issues.

Everyone has days like this - it's part of life

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 4:48:29 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1

I was just wondering of any other sub/slaves out there go through periods of time where they just feel in a funk? Failing at daily expectations, feeling scattered or ineffective in service? Why did you feel that way and what did you do to kick back into gear?

Greetings,

i've had periods of waning interest every now and again. i just came out of a very odd space that lasted for a few weeks. While i understand the catalyst, the solution was a surprise. In my case, good old fashioned dominant tlc did the trick. But it wasn't the kind filled with hugs and kisses. There was lots of laughter, togetherness, amazing conversation, and camaraderie. It was the mental engagement that i needed most on a level that had been sorely lacking. However, this wasn't the run of the mill chit chat, but nourishment from a source that's living this and has successfully done so over a long period of time. i think that was the tipping point in all truth.

However, when i'm engaged, i don't encounter the blues very much. The only instance i can reference is when my previous partner and i were going through a very rough patch. As the situation deteriorated i took a hit and lost my passion. While i completed my tasks, i did so with little pleasure or energy. It felt very stale. i finally told him that i couldn't continue in that fashion and he needed to 'do' something because i was languishing and he did. Sometimes a bit of reformatting does the trick. Especially when outside issues are the culprit.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 9:21:57 AM

DesFIP

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Welcome to real life.
I tell him I'm having a bad day and ask for a hug. Sometimes I just come out and curl up on his lap without talking. Not to be done during football season though.

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 1:22:52 PM

agirl

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Yes, once in a while my alter-ego inhabits my body and we both have Katrina to deal with. She's belligerent, interrupts, can't and won't listen, shouts, cries, is irrational and generally a pain in the arse.

I can't say I have ever cared about service of any sort but daily expectations are few enough and serious enough for me to know that they MUST be continued with no matter what. (failing hospitalised illness or death certificates).

There's not much for me to *get over* really.....Given a period of hours for Katrina to subside, he knows I'm as fed up as he is for the wasted time and we both want to get it behind us with as little fuss as possible.

Once, I remember saying to him in a little tremulous voice * Do you want to beat me?* and he just said * Hell yes!*......lol..and I remember thinking, *Sheesh, I don't blame you*.

The best ever remedy for any funks here is normality, lots of it. BIG, big doses.

agirl

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 1:41:25 PM

phoenixmoonn13

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sometimes yes i just forget things. or he asks me and it goes in one ear out the other. usually a painful play session sorts it or a punishment if i cant stop the guilts over it. and im straight back to being me

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 2:33:04 PM

leadership527

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Sure this happens to Carol. Generally it's readily attributable to "life stress". What I do to "kick back into gear" is fix whatever the stress is. If this happened without such obvious stresses then I'd need to wonder what was wrong in our dynamic.

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 3:42:29 PM

peachgirl

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everyone has days like that, doms, dommes, subs, slaves...we are still all human.

what always gets me through those periods is knowing that it will pass. it may take a day or two or a few, but it will pass. if he's around and can help, he will.

fresh air and some outdoor activity usually helps my mindset along with some uplifting music. or finding some new music and downloading it to my iPod works too.

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 3:43:05 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Yes, once in a while my alter-ego inhabits my body and we both have Katrina to deal with. She's belligerent, interrupts, can't and won't listen, shouts, cries, is irrational and generally a pain in the arse.

Oh yeah, she's a pistol. That girl will throw a major monkey wrench in things if i allow her free reign. When i'm losing my spool or completely irrational, you're dealing with her. While i don't appreciate her interference for obvious reasons, her execution comes in handy elsewhere. She's not always a pain in the butt, just merely in situations where obedience is necessary. But she only comes out when things have gone too far. Something is out of whack and this is my attempt to get a handle on the chaos.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Funks? - 4/10/2011 5:55:11 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Sure this happens to Carol. Generally it's readily attributable to "life stress". What I do to "kick back into gear" is fix whatever the stress is. If this happened without such obvious stresses then I'd need to wonder what was wrong in our dynamic.

Really? I'd think it was time for a physical.

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RE: Funks? - 4/11/2011 6:53:08 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1

I was just wondering of any other sub/slaves out there go through periods of time where they just feel in a funk? Failing at daily expectations, feeling scattered or ineffective in service? Why did you feel that way and what did you do to kick back into gear?

Well, feeling scattered is rather normal for me, lol, but that's just my "ADD" make up. He helps channel my energy into focus and keeps his eye out for things I miss or overlook.

He has eliminated the "failure" mindset from me, so no, I don't ever feel I've failed in service. Errors, oversights, being in a funk - that's human, not failure. Since he regularly assures me he won't let me fail, then I have to just rely on him to lead me in such a way that failure to serve him isn't a concern.

As for funks and such, I tell him, and he leads me through it. I don't funk out very often, though, it's actually pretty rare. I'll get uptight or stressed before I get in a funk. We both recognize when this is happening and he's pretty good at shifting my focus and mood before it worsens. Then we talk about what caused it.

It takes effort on both our parts. If I ever get into a prolonged funk, I would be concerned that depression was hitting again. I'd also look at diet, life-stresses, sleep patterns, exercise, or if something was going on between us that wasn't being addressed.

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RE: Funks? - 4/11/2011 1:13:14 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1

I was just wondering of any other sub/slaves out there go through periods of time where they just feel in a funk? ... what did you do to kick back into gear?

Ya just gotta... GET THE FUNK OUT!!!

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RE: Funks? - 4/11/2011 1:20:12 PM

kalikshama

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See also Submissive Cycles

In "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom," Dr. Christiane Northrup discusses how changing levels of progesterone and estrogen affect women's emotional states and how at some times in our cycle we are more inward and reflective, and at other times more sexual.

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