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How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/8/2006 5:42:16 PM

RapturesDaddy

Posts: 25
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

I have seen the debates on here about wether or not to reward a submissive or slave. This is not what I am interested in. I choose to "reward" mine and no one will change my mind on this. I feel that is something that she deserves. Even if "reward" isnt the right word for what it is that I / we do.

That being said, how do YOU, as a Dom/Domme/Master "reward" the one you cherish? How do you show her that you are proud of her (or him) and that she has pleased you?

Sugarcubes for ponies? :)

Post #: 1

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/8/2006 5:50:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Reposted:
More kisses

Choice of movie or dinner

Choice of type of scene

An extra something they want (a dessert, or time online, anything they would find enjoyable)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_335162/mpage_1/key_reward/tm.htm#335165
The "reward"

http://www.collarchat.com/m_252505/mpage_1/key_rewards/tm.htm#252658
Rewards for good bdsm behavior

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RapturesDaddy)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/8/2006 6:33:41 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Shoe shopping!!!!...Tempting

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/8/2006 6:34:30 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I don't reward them... I appreciate them by being ME!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to RapturesDaddy)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/8/2006 10:38:29 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I don't reward them... I appreciate them by being ME!

This is right in line with what i was thinking. My reward is the experience of him. My reward is the goodness he brings to my life. Sounds sappy I know but it is quite a sincere sentiment. He will always tell me when he is proud and happy with me, and that brings me so much joy - what else is there?!

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/8/2006 10:47:21 PM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

I let her stay here with a roof over her head and food in the fridge... sometimes its the little things that they appreciate the most as rewards, especially when they know it can be taken away.

T.R.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 2:47:17 AM

OnyxGoddess

Posts: 242
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

If one has exceptionally pleased me above and beyond the norm a reward is a nice thing since it entices them to continue to be a good pet. Scene of choice, dinner, a toy, servicing a part of me (which is totally RARE). But they know that if they piss me off ALL joys are revoked. Perhaps I'm just too nice tho. LOL.

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 3:08:22 AM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

I don't see a problem with positive reinforcement - in that sense, a submissive is just like Pavlov's dog or Skinner's pigeons. You can train someone to anything through the use of such techniques.

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to RapturesDaddy)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 4:17:01 AM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

cash!

frozen milky way!

cuddle time!

being told 'it pleases me to own you'

(in reply to RapturesDaddy)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 5:37:05 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

Just having a partner wonderful enough to Dom you is the main reward a sub needs.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 5:38:26 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

OH! I'm not vanilla any more, I'm Curious, with two cute circly things!

(in reply to becca333)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 7:43:01 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

I don't see a problem with positive reinforcement - in that sense, a submissive is just like Pavlov's dog or Skinner's pigeons. You can train someone to anything through the use of such techniques.

I agree. I couple positive reinforcement in with Master just being himself, and being able to experience him.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 7:45:02 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I agree. I couple positive reinforcement in with Master just being himself, and being able to experience him.

Not to mention, there are doms out there who get a huge kick out of spoiling and giving rewards to their sub and ENJOY seeing that extra grin.

There's power and authority in giving pleasure just as much as there is in giving pain.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 7:46:35 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

being told 'it pleases me to own you'

by far, more heart warming than any restraint He could surprise me with, or expensive dinner i would feel beyond guilty for eating.

cuddles are nice too, to remind me He is a human.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 7:48:22 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Not to mention, there are doms out there who get a huge kick out of spoiling and giving rewards to their sub and ENJOY seeing that extra grin.

There's power and authority in giving pleasure just as much as there is in giving pain.

Yes, Master has had me make a wish list. it was so hard to do [i could only get 10 items onto it the guilt was overwhelming] i feel it defeats the purpose of "His pleasure" but He is by far a sensual Dom and feeds off of reactions, and my pleasure [in misery]

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 7:58:06 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I agree. I couple positive reinforcement in with Master just being himself, and being able to experience him.

Not to mention, there are doms out there who get a huge kick out of spoiling and giving rewards to their sub and ENJOY seeing that extra grin.

There's power and authority in giving pleasure just as much as there is in giving pain.

Indeed there is, which is why I was so thrilled when he allowed me to buy extravagant silky sheets for myself :)

Mostly I am the type who will soar into heaven just by his praise. When he tells me how good I make him feel, how happy he is to own me, how courageous and sweet he thinks I am, how much I please him...When he tells me he has never been so pleased before - ever....

When he guides me in the decisions I make (harshly, when needed) and when I can see behind those tough terse words what a strong man he his and how much he truly cares about me...When I can hear the love come through in his voice, or see that gleam in his eyes... Seriously, I'll take that over dinner any day.

I do understand there are those who love pampering their girls. I for one would be stifled and annoyed by such pampering (on rare occasion it's a nice surprise, like when he washed my hair which was just too cute to me). I have friends who relish in it, and I am most happy for them to have found someone who enjoys doing those things for them. Truly my Master gives me everything I need, and I am so grateful. My biggest reward - sappy as it sounds - is the privilege to serve him as he has me serve him.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 8:06:02 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Well, I love those small things. A draw bath with bubbles and candles after a particularly "severe" scene, that little smile he gets when I have particularly pleased him, him bringing old clothing he can cut off me instead of me always supplying them...those are the things I cherish.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 8:26:58 AM

shivvy

Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline

i think i might have read somewhere that some people think that rewards may motivate us to be obedient. But i don’t think they do. i believe that the bribe becomes the focus – not my duties and/or my responsibilities. What comes of rewarding expected behaviour can be understood in remarks like "If i'm good, what will i get?"

my Master used to say to me, who eva rewarded Him for stopping at a red light, or for paying His taxes? Nobody. So why should He reward me?

Of course, that wasn't strictly true, coz pleanty of times He went out of His way to do "nice" things for me, but to be honest, the nicest thing He could do, would be smile at me, and tell me "well done" after i done something He really wanted me to do, especially if i had found it really hard.

just my two penny's worth

_____________________________

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xxx
Owned and collared by SavageFaerie and Master P

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 8:47:45 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Indeed there is, which is why I was so thrilled when he allowed me to buy extravagant silky sheets for myself :)

Mostly I am the type who will soar into heaven just by his praise. When he tells me how good I make him feel, how happy he is to own me, how courageous and sweet he thinks I am, how much I please him...When he tells me he has never been so pleased before - ever....

When he guides me in the decisions I make (harshly, when needed) and when I can see behind those tough terse words what a strong man he his and how much he truly cares about me...When I can hear the love come through in his voice, or see that gleam in his eyes... Seriously, I'll take that over dinner any day.

I do understand there are those who love pampering their girls. I for one would be stifled and annoyed by such pampering (on rare occasion it's a nice surprise, like when he washed my hair which was just too cute to me). I have friends who relish in it, and I am most happy for them to have found someone who enjoys doing those things for them. Truly my Master gives me everything I need, and I am so grateful. My biggest reward - sappy as it sounds - is the privilege to serve him as he has me serve him.

Sappy Hell... so sugar coated and sweet..... made my damn teeth hurt.... LOL

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you "reward" your sub? - 5/9/2006 10:24:30 AM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

I believe personally in a "reward". It allows the slave to know just how much you appreciate her and her servitude. After all a happy slave will serve better then one who doesn't feel appreciated. I tend to find something they really like .... it can be something as simple as a night of movies and popcorn on the couch or maybe something a bit more sexual ... it all really depends on how you see fit to reward her. but as I said a Happy slave serves much better then one who doesn't feel appreciated ... might I suggest a night or giving her total pleasure from say a good "tongue lashing" if you know what I mean

(in reply to RapturesDaddy)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How do you "reward" your sub?

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