RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (Full Version)

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LadyMorgynn -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 10:58:16 AM)

 
Yep, and I'm one of 'em!  First line of rewards and the simplest is, of course, APPROVAL.  Then a certain amount of small indulgences... computer time, a glass of wine with dinner, various activities that I know the slave enjoys.  I have no problem with little surprises... gifts, dinner out, tickets to a sporting or music event I know he'd enjoy.  Also fun lifestyle stuff like allowing him to auction himself at the local fundraising slave auctions, letting him bottom to one of the local Dom/Dommes at a play party, letting him choose his favorite outfit to wear to the local dungeon. 

I believe strongly in positive reinforcement, and besides that, if he is pleasing me, why shouldn't I show my approval in many and varied ways?  If he DISpleases me, I'm quick enough to let him know!  I'd rather reward good behavior, than punish bad. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Not to mention, there are doms out there who get a huge kick out of spoiling and giving rewards to their sub and ENJOY seeing that extra grin.



mathiasdomm -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 11:28:18 AM)

I'm one who likes to spoil.  Anytime they go above and beyond, or even put a lot of themselves into an assigned task, they get rewarded.  It's the effort I like to see.  I do lots of little things... special/exotic foods, books, dresses, toys, time on the beach, daytrips, etc...

I try not to do too much "dinner out, movies" stuff as a reward.  Anything that I think should be part of a regular romantic lifestyle, I try not to do as a reward.  I want them to know that there's always going to be romance, whether or not they've got the time and energy to 'be special'.  Of course, there's some backlash to that too.  It means that I have to spend an inordinate amount of time (and usually money) trying to figure out special things to do for birthdays and days that I want to feel special.

Just my two cents.
-m



buffiyum -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 4:47:56 PM)

one cannot speak for any but herself of course .... and buffy is not a ' One ' but a 'one' so she doesnot 'reward' any one. Yet she will say that when she has done particularly well (and one always gives things her 'best shot'), it is always nice to be told she has been pleasing. It gives one a feeling of being appreciated and yes, an appreciated slave is a happier slave, at least if that slave is buffiyum.  It bring a flush of joy to the face (although at this one's age, that could just be more hot flashes), and a song to the heart..... and for buffy, that 'song in the heart' is what the Lifestyle is about. For her, it does not mean she 'dis respecte' the One giving the praise, thinking that such praise means He is 'gone soft' or that she come to expect to be thanked every day for every thing. It means just what she said: it is nice to be appreciated once in a while and for buffy, it means that she try harder and harder to be even more pleasing.
respectfully
buffy



Bearlee -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 5:53:32 PM)

OMG… people are rewarded computer time?  WOW   Okay, I’ve only been around ‘the lifestyle’ for about three years, and have not been owned.  I have submitted…and I’ve even been punished …but rewarded?  Not with something like a glass of wine or computer time or any ‘thing’. 

How does this happen?  Perhaps the Owner actually does support the girl?  Does he really ‘keep’ her?  When one says to me “Well done!” or just pulls me to him and plants a big ol’ kiss on me, I’m soaring already. 

Still…I remember that punishment; sitting facing a wall, thinking about what had happened and then having to write an essay on same.  It was hell…and it was heaven.  I was dismayed I’d disappointed him; I was thrilled at the awesomely submissive feelings I had while experiencing the punishment (and his praise for the essay).  So…I have the funny feeling I could really enjoy my (rather independent) life being controlled in that way.  How odd.



theRose4U -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 6:06:08 PM)

Rewards are sometimes as simple as "well done" or as elaborate as time with a masseuse. All kind of depends on how I feel and what they've done. Sometimes dog training well done, treat sit, well done, treat is what's called for but I'd like to think that after a while the constant praise would evolve into knowing what is expected and treating for going the extra mile.



Sinergy -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 9:06:18 PM)

James Clavell wrote a book called Noble House wherein a shipping company in the 19th century was engaged in trading in Asia.

In this shipping company, flogging and corporal punishment was 100% prohibited.  This contrasts with the British East India companies flogging, beating, keel hauling, hanging, types of punishments.  The only punishment that the Noble House allowed on their boats was "beaching."  Pull into port, put the person ashore, sail off never looking back.

In this book, discipline on these boats was extremely well maintained.

I spend most of my time rewarding my submissive.  I am a doting, caring, sort of individual.  In my experience, some subs cant deal with a Dominant who is nice to them.

But that is just me, I could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy



juliaoceania -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 9:12:04 PM)

Some of us can deal with that very well Sinergy. Some of us subs will only submit to someone that is kind. I want a dom that will treat me that way...winks



dogobedience -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 9:31:34 PM)

I reward with TOTAL FOCUS on her and her needs. We can be in control, but still a great person also.



RunningFox -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/9/2006 10:17:18 PM)

Rabbit is a little punishment happy, but when he deems to reward me, I'm usually content to comply with a request of his. I'm sure this will change when we move in together and we're around each other more often.



PeaceInterrupted -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/10/2006 12:31:52 AM)

with a wonderful spanking
Peace



MsMacComb -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/10/2006 12:53:54 AM)

Creampie. [:)]



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/10/2006 12:58:40 AM)

I would generally be apreciative of someone who went out of his way to serve me well,  so stating well done would happen most days...  I would however reward my sub by indulging in some of the kinks he is more into than I am on special occasions.  [&:] M



twicehappy -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (5/10/2006 4:17:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapturesDaddy

That being said, how do YOU, as a Dom/Domme/Master "reward" the one you cherish? How do you show her that you are proud of her (or him) and that she has pleased you?


My pair reward me everyday just being themselves. I cannot honestly say they consciously ever think of rewards for me or for one another or for that matter from me to them. It is more that we are always doing things or saying things for each other, Dom/Domme, slave, husband, wife, etc, just us as a group. We are just happy to be alive and love each other and it shows constantly.



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: How do you "reward" your sub? (6/3/2006 9:04:34 PM)

no matter how we as Dom/me // Master Mistress whatevertitle we use .. no matter how we choose to reward we all do it . even if subconciously we do it ..... I mean theone who pats the head and says well done . thats a reward . the one who says go get a day at the spa .. thats a reward . the one whose choose to reward witha night of movies and spooning , thats a reward too. We all in some form or fashion dole out rewards to our subs/slaves . it can be something as special as a trip to someplace very special that she's always wanted to go, or just to sit around and have a conversation about life andhow good it is to be  a family ..... We all reward .... because we want happy slaves/subs .. they tend to service better when they are happy . andthey tend to want to stay around too
 
BUT thats just my honest opinion



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