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RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 6:33:16 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		BBQ sauce works too.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 6:37:48 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 6:38:13 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

you can ask a female friend to give you one of her pads she is finished using whilst she is on her period and put that in your pants


Besides being a totally gross idea (althoug admittedly creative), it is also very unsanitary.



I agree...but that doesn't stop me from providing alternatives After all its for the OP to decide

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 6:42:12 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.




OMG You have seen me pre\mid period?

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(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 6:49:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Y ay Hausboy!

And yeah, Aynne, lots of women use pads. I don't, but many do. Whatever works.

Pondering the D who would want this...and having memories of (TMI).

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 10:00:20 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



I laughed out loud as I read that.  Hilarious!  Ah, and very authentic "that time of the month".  hausboy that was the best advice yet! 


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Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/10/2011 10:26:45 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



/Runs away from hausboy, skeered./




_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 12:49:09 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


lol..pads? Sorry Pheonix but I haven't heard of anyone using a pad since 7th grade. We used to call it "riding the cotton pony.' Gross.  



Come back to Korea you sassy wench...


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 1:46:00 AM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
Ah hell, you're a male....

Go buy some chicken livers.........sling em here and there on the bed.....voila!!!!!!
Don't forget to get some cheap ketchup on a pad, and wear it.

Oh, and upon further reading, WHAT HAUSBOY SAID, DEFINITELY. M


< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 4/11/2011 1:48:24 AM >

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(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 1:50:56 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
twistedwillow

for
try dipping your penis in non toxic red paint or something like that.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 10:07:51 AM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline 		1) Ask her if she plans on using latex barriers. Anything with oil will degrade condoms and gloves, leading to unsafe (and extra-gross) sex. This goes for vaseline, crisco, and most petroleum products as well.

2) Remember that anything in your anal cavity will be absorbed into your body, generally faster than it would if you ate it. Half a bottle of champagne, for example, can give you alcohol poisoning. Screen carefully for toxins.

3) If she'll be penetrating you for the first time, there is a decent possibility that you'll develop some small tears in your anal cavity. (It happens - they generally heal up without any trouble.) This becomes much more likely if your mistress doesn't know what she's doing, which I'm guessing is the case, because I've never run into an experienced buttfucker who wanted more random crap in a person's ass before sex. So, don't put anything in your butt that would be dangerous if it got into a small cut or three.

4) Whatever you're using is going to mix with the lube she's using. This could have interesting effects, or might do nothing. I'd recommend finding out what kind of lube she prefers, and mixing it with the substance you choose to make sure it doesn't fizz or something weird.

5) If she doesn't plan on using lube, see #3 above, but SO much worse.

6) Regardless, the substance of your choice will be rubbing against your inner cavities with a lot of friction. Any little bits of grit will become agonizing. Try wanking with the stuff. If it hurts, it will hurt even more inside you. And remember, #1 still applies.

7) Any liquids will drip out of your butt while you walk. If you're not willing to wear a diaper under your clothes, this is going to have to happen immediately before playtime.

Personally, I would save my first anal experience for someone with some idea of what she's doing, but if you really want to experience anal with someone who thinks having you fill your anal cavity with unspecified red liquids, best of luck to you.


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On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to amy19808)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 10:15:28 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		This:


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

Stab yourself in the perineum. You'll be bleeding out of a hole in vaguely the right area, it'll be wonderfully realistic. If you want to go for the full affect, punch yourself repeatedly in the abdomen every few minutes to create period pains.

What's the worst that could happen eh? Hospitalised with internal bleeding and a horrible infection? Just pretend you got toxic shock from losing a tampon. Endless menstrual fun!



TY, CS, I am still laughing.


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 10:18:59 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		And this too:


quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



OMG, I did not expect this thread to be so fun.


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(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 10:19:23 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


lol..pads? Sorry Pheonix but I haven't heard of anyone using a pad since 7th grade. We used to call it "riding the cotton pony.' Gross.  



Come back to Korea you sassy wench...



On yon ha say oh. Pojee. ;-) In my best phonetic translation. Mwah!! I fucking miss you .


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 12:08:38 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Stab yourself in the ass so you bleed.

Just sayin'


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I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 2:28:20 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amy19808

Hello.
For my next session, I have been told that I will loose my anal virginity, and I need to be on my "period." I asked a followup, on what I should do to be on my period, and I was told to get creative. Any advise?

I should add that I am a male, and I have to pretend that I am on my period for my mistress.


Think I'm starting to "get" voyeurism....

And that male subs seem to come up with the scariesi/creepiest scenarios. Or is it the dommes?

Assuming it exists, I think dodging the submissive gene literally does equate to dodging a bullet - phew! lmao

Focus.

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(in reply to amy19808)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 2:56:20 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I can't believe no one has thought of xlax, or other over the counter meds for constipation. If you want cramps.. viola~ You will definitely feel discomfort as you try to hold in the urge.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 3:06:47 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: amy19808

Hello.
For my next session, I have been told that I will loose my anal virginity, and I need to be on my "period." I asked a followup, on what I should do to be on my period, and I was told to get creative. Any advise?

I should add that I am a male, and I have to pretend that I am on my period for my mistress.


Think I'm starting to "get" voyeurism....

And that male subs seem to come up with the scariesi/creepiest scenarios. Or is it the dommes?

Assuming it exists, I think dodging the submissive gene literally does equate to dodging a bullet - phew! lmao

Focus.


I assume the Domme in question is into the female supremacy bullcrap.

But then, aren't you (as a Gorean) into the male supremacy bullcrap?

edited to add a phrase so that it makes more sense (I think)


< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 4/11/2011 3:10:05 PM >

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(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 3:30:36 PM   
TheShrew


Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline 		NON-TOXIC, POSSIBLY IRRITATING TO MUCUS MEMBRANES, DEFINITELY STICKY
Fake Blood Recipe #1 - Cherry Flavor
  • can of cherry pie filling
  • 8 ounces cream (softened) cheese
  • water
  1. Use a fork or spoon to remove the cherries from the pie filling.
  2. Mix together the pie filling gel with the cream cheese.
  3. Stir in a little water to achieve the desired consistency.
Fake Blood Recipe #2 - Strawberry Flavor
  • packet of stawberry glaze
  • 8 ounces cream cheese (softened)
  • red and blue food coloring
  1. Mix together the strawberry glaze and the cream cheese.
  2. Add a drop of red and a smaller amount of blue food coloring to achieve the desired color.
Fake Blood Recipe #3 - Sweetened, Unflavored
  • 1/2 cup white corn syrup
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 1/8 to 1/4 cup water
  • 15 drops red food coloring
  • 1-5 drops blue food coloring
  • In a bowl, mix together the corn syrup and the corn starch.
  • Add water until the mixture is the consistency of blood.
  • Mix in food coloring until you achieve the color of blood that you want.
    POSSIBLY IRRITATING TO MUCUS MEMBRANES, DEFINITELY STICKY.
    Fake Blood Recipe #4
    1/8 cup Corn Syrup
    1 T Strawberry Jam
    Red food coloring to preference.
    Mix .. poof and voila.

    I'm not trying to be snarky but I located the above offerings at a blazing speed of (0.19 seconds). You're on a computer, on the internet... maybe you could just Google "recipe +fake blood"

    (in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
    • Profile   Post #: 39
    RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-ho... - 4/11/2011 6:27:05 PM   
    sunshinemiss


    Posts: 17673
    Joined: 11/26/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Focus50

    Think I'm starting to "get" voyeurism....

    And that male subs seem to come up with the scariesi/creepiest scenarios. Or is it the dommes?

    Assuming it exists, I think dodging the submissive gene literally does equate to dodging a bullet - phew! lmao

    Focus.[/font][/size][/color]


    I assume the Domme in question is into the female supremacy bullcrap.

    But then, aren't you (as a Gorean) into the male supremacy bullcrap?

    edited to add a phrase so that it makes more sense (I think)



    I'm not sure where you got this, Chatte, but I've never seen him post anything remotely Gorean, nor does he have it in his profile, nor has he ever posted on the Gorean forums. I did a search with the word "Gorean" and "Gor" and there were no posts by him. Where did you get the idea that Focus is Gorean?


    _____________________________

    Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

    (in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
    Profile   Post #: 40
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