Out of your comfort zone....

Out of your comfort zone.... (Full Version)

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poise -> Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 7:53:49 PM)
While I've posted a time or two on this forum, this is my first official question, and I can only hope that I make it to the submit button in one piece. [:o] Last week, as I was giving Him a hair cut and a shave, I started thinking of all the times where the role was reversed, and I was at the mercy of his hands. I became playful with him and acted excited to now be the one in control. We had a few laughs over that, and I gave him a fantastic shave and haircut. And then it got me wondering. As submissives, we often watch you approaching with a variety of implements in your deliciously sadistic hands, and many of us joyfully feed off of that vulnerability. As a dominant man or woman, is it more challenging for you to place yourself in a vulnerable position such as a haircut or shave, or some similar situation where you aren't the one in control? And would that level of discomfort vary for you, depending on whether it was your partner or a professional performing the task? While these aren't earth shattering questions, I really am curious as to how you as dominants deal with being out of your comfort zone, even if it is for just a brief time. Anyone need a hairut?[:)]

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 8:08:28 PM)
I find it very difficult to be out of my own personal control zone. I just do not handle it well. This is why I must be with a dominant who can delegate a great deal of power and responsibility back to me. Want an example? Driving. No one drives the way I do I am the best driver in the world, the rest of you are barely adequate. When my sub comes to town, he drives. He likes to chauffer me, plus he likes being in control of his vehicle. I understand he needs his comfort zone, I don't push that. And yes, sometimes its very hard not to be the one driving. I would say as a switch, in MOST instances, it is harder for me to give up control than to take it.

poise -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 8:14:52 PM)
Driving is a great example, and one I can relate to. I happen to be the second best driver in the world! (just don't tell Him that please) Thank you for your response.

Palliata -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 8:39:16 PM)
Doesn't bother me in the least. I can kind of see where it might bother someone else, but I'm a big fan of having things done for me, and if that means relinquishing direct tactile control I'm completely fine with that. As I see it, if I can't control a submissive under any circumstances whatsoever I'm doing something wrong. Even bound, blindfolded, and being tortured I ought to still be in control, and if that isn't the case then a correction needs to be made in the dynamic.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 9:30:27 PM)
It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean? [:D]

NuevaVida -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 10:09:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise Anyone need a hairut?[:)] Reminds me of a dom I went out with who wanted me to cut his hair. Well, to shave the hair on his neck with his hair shaver...thing. Yeah, can you tell I had never done it before? I told him that. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that. But he insisted. So I shaved his neck. And nicked his ear. It bled. I'm sure I traumatized him. Hey it's not my fault. I just did what he insisted I do, despite saying it could be trouble. [8D]

NihilusZero -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 10:29:59 PM)
quote: As a dominant man or woman, is it more challenging for you to place yourself in a vulnerable position such as a haircut or shave, or some similar situation where you aren't the one in control? Being in a position of dominance over a partner, when a mutual commitment towards that end has begun, is a vulnerability to me (as it means I have put a very considerable investment on the table). The sort of acts you speak of don't quite register to me as "vulnerabilities" as much as instances where I'd be realistically assessing my partner's competence at a task I'm letting them engage in (cutting my hair, driving, whatever).

domiguy -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 10:40:28 PM)
Oh my God! I hate it how I am at the mercy of the lady at the deli counter! I like getting a haircut. I am paying for the service. There is no 24/7 Domblood rushing through my veins. I dine out pretty regularly and I have yet to make a production out of the fact that I am totally capable of finding a table and seating myself. I like to cook. I don't mind if someone else cooks for me. I don't think they are going to poison me. I don't think I understand the question.

Kana -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/11/2011 10:45:33 PM)
I'm a dominant alpha male-the world is my comfort zone! Laughs. No seriously, I like being in my comfort zone-hence the name. But some things others would be bothered by don't phase me-for instance I love when a slave shaves me. It's a tremendous turn on. But drive the car-Hell no. I mean, Hell fucking no. (Besides, in teenytiny print-most the gals I spend time with like guys who, ahem, drive the car)

IrishMist -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 4:39:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean? [:D] You know, not many would even stop to consider this. LOL It's one hell of an example [:)]

DesFIP -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 5:05:22 AM)
But I don't think him getting a haircut is out of his comfort zone. He picks the shop, he tells the barber what he wants, he watches in the mirror and doesn't hesitate to interrupt it if he thinks it isn't being done right. He's always in charge in such a situation even if he isn't manipulating the scissors. The same is true of many other things. He's in charge even if he's in charge of the person doing it and not doing it himself.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 5:40:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean? [:D] You know, not many would even stop to consider this. LOL It's one hell of an example [:)] So ... that means I'm yooneek! Yay! (Actually I didn't come up with that - I learned it in self-defense classes [:)] )

poise -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 6:21:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida Reminds me of a dom I went out with who wanted me to cut his hair. Well, to shave the hair on his neck with his hair shaver...thing. Yeah, can you tell I had never done it before? I told him that. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that. But he insisted. So I shaved his neck. And nicked his ear. It bled. I'm sure I traumatized him. Hey it's not my fault. I just did what he insisted I do, despite saying it could be trouble. [8D] I think this is what spurred my thought process. I wasn't really comfortable with the knowledge that I could potential screw this up big time, and he would be marred for a few weeks or so, or at least until his hair grew back out. [8D] Yet I don't have the same uneasiness if he were to cut my hair, or tie me up, or...... It was an interesting comparison for me, which led to the question.

poise -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 6:25:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean? [:D] Eeeeks! They do that rather often don't they!? But, what if, attached to that mouth was a hand holding a razor? [:-]

SailingBum -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 11:41:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean? [:D] Da bitch would do that once. I wonder how she would look with no fucking teeth? That bobit guy showed remarkably restraint. Id have left her comatose. BadOne

SailingBum -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 11:44:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Oh my God! I hate it how I am at the mercy of the lady at the deli counter! I like getting a haircut. I am paying for the service. There is no 24/7 Domblood rushing through my veins. I dine out pretty regularly and I have yet to make a production out of the fact that I am totally capable of finding a table and seating myself. I like to cook. I don't mind if someone else cooks for me. I don't think they are going to poison me. I don't think I understand the question. Well that too. BadOne

leadership527 -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 11:49:35 AM)
quote: As a dominant man or woman, is it more challenging for you to place yourself in a vulnerable position such as a haircut or shave, or some similar situation where you aren't the one in control? It doesn't work that way for me. My default and constant viewpoint is that of being in control. I can choose to submit, but that choice is always that... a choice... and it's always totally within my control. In other words, I never lost control, I just chose a path that looks like submission. In reality it's more like "delegation". It's been a long, long time in my life since when I truly felt out of control. I suppose if enough BadShit(tm) happened to me I'd feel that way again but it's pretty distant from my current world view.

rockspider -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 11:59:20 AM)
It is called the Ugandan version of Russian roulette. You have 6 gorgeous women you can choose from for a blowjob. Just remember: One of them is a cannibal[:D]

NorthernGent -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 1:45:36 PM)
A challenge? Something new? No use in seeking comfort in repitition. How do you learn? And if it doesn't go according to plan? Dust yourself down, get back on the horse, and have another go. And if you still come up short? Can't win 'em all.

UBICUO -> RE: Out of your comfort zone.... (4/12/2011 8:08:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Want an example? Driving. No one drives the way I do I am the best driver in the world, the rest of you are barely adequate. When my sub comes to town, he drives. He likes to chauffer me, plus he likes being in control of his vehicle. I understand he needs his comfort zone, I don't push that. And yes, sometimes its very hard not to be the one driving. Totally agree with this driving example. On other kind of things, I don´t feel on the hands of somebody who is doing a haircut to me even if is using a militar knife or something. Can´t really explain why, just don´t feel like I´m not in control. Maybe a better example for me is a less frightening one. Like when you do legal stuff. In my country, the legal and tax world can be very, very complicated, and I used to have a sub who helped me with taxes. So, to return to the driving example, she was driving there and I was on the passenger site.

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