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Nursing Home Sex - 4/12/2011 5:35:10 PM

MasterG2kTR

Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
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Nursing Home Sex....

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'

She asks, 'What?'

'Sex!!' he replies.

Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!'

'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.'

'Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was okay..
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?'

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's'.

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/12/2011 5:52:32 PM

rockspider

Posts: 633
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Damn it, now i got coffee all over my keyboard again

(in reply to MasterG2kTR)

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/12/2011 6:15:12 PM

MistressRosalyn

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OK, just sent that along to my 83 year old mother...so she can be warned! Then again, she and her new BF are doing more than just sitting around and holding it!

Maybe growing up to be like my mother isn't such a bad thing.

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/12/2011 7:22:42 PM

Muttling

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Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRosalyn

OK, just sent that along to my 83 year old mother...so she can be warned! Then again, she and her new BF are doing more than just sitting around and holding it!

Maybe growing up to be like my mother isn't such a bad thing.

Tell her some strange guy named Mutt says, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!

Here's my best munch story......

We were meeting at a conference room in a motel for a demo. The conference room next door was rented for a lady's 90'th birthday party.

I was playing door guard to keep from freaking out the vanillas.    This very well dressed, older lady comes to the door.

Mutt:   "Hello ma'am.   The birthday party is down there."

Lady:   "YOUNG MAN, is this the BDSM demo?"

Mutt: ummm, ummm, ummmm..............."Yes ma'am it is."

Lady: "Then I will be going in here."

One of my favorite community experiences, she put me on my heels and loved every minute of it.

(in reply to MistressRosalyn)

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/13/2011 6:32:45 PM

freyjasdottir

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Joined: 8/29/2006
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My grandmother was at a demo?

(in reply to Muttling)

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/17/2011 12:24:45 AM

TheShrew

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From: The state I live in? Confusion.
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Oh man, that is so wrong.. that I am laughing this hard is even more wrong.

(in reply to freyjasdottir)

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/17/2011 4:32:30 AM

subtlebutterfly

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RE: Nursing Home Sex - 4/17/2011 9:50:05 PM

ShaharThorne

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Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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BDSM has no age limits...

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Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

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