RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub.

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agirl -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 1:30:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla. Really? I don't think I have any responsibility to Carol. I don't think she has any responsibility to me. I think both of us are obligated to ourselves, our own ideals, and the ultimate reality of consequence. I feel about "responsibilities" (at least the way it's being used here) much the same as I feel about "rights". I don't understand where they come from. I don't understand who assigns and/or removes them. I don't understand how performance is graded against them. I just don't see how it applies. I live in the world of consequences and that works for me. I don't think I have any responsibility toward M, but if I want an M/s relationship then I am certainly responsible for doing what's required to have one and vice-versa. If we don't do what it takes to have it, then yes, the consequences will be that we end up sans M/s. The responsibilities that we have, aren't assigned by anyone apart from us and how we view M/s. Rights work the same way for us. I knew what rights I had or didn't have from the outset...........He knew exactly what rights he had over me from the word go, too. Our relationship is strictly M/s, it wasn't forged beforehand on anything else (apart from friendship), so perhaps this makes a difference. I'm not sure what you mean about grading performance though. Regards, agirl

ladynlord -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 1:44:14 PM)
She said: quote: Honey, I need to talk to you. He heard: You fucktard, stop what you are doing and spend the rest of the afternoon listening to me tell you how you are doing EVERYTHING wrong! LMAO

Rochsub2009 -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 1:46:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla. Really? I don't think I have any responsibility to Carol. I don't think she has any responsibility to me. I think both of us are obligated to ourselves, our own ideals, and the ultimate reality of consequence. I feel about "responsibilities" (at least the way it's being used here) much the same as I feel about "rights". I don't understand where they come from. I don't understand who assigns and/or removes them. I don't understand how performance is graded against them. I just don't see how it applies. I live in the world of consequences and that works for me. I don't think I have any responsibility toward M, but if I want an M/s relationship then I am certainly responsible for doing what's required to have one and vice-versa. If we don't do what it takes to have it, then yes, the consequences will be that we end up sans M/s. Exactly! Leadership is quibbling over semantics. Whether you call them responsibilities, rights, consequences, or "fiddle-faddles", each party in a relationship has things that they need to do to keep that relationship intact. If they don't do those things, the relationship will likely crumble.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 1:49:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ladynlord She said: quote: Honey, I need to talk to you. He heard: You fucktard, stop what you are doing and spend the rest of the afternoon listening to me tell you how you are doing EVERYTHING wrong! Sadly, that's often exactly what happens when it comes to inter-gender communications. [8D]

agirl -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 2:44:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla. Really? I don't think I have any responsibility to Carol. I don't think she has any responsibility to me. I think both of us are obligated to ourselves, our own ideals, and the ultimate reality of consequence. I feel about "responsibilities" (at least the way it's being used here) much the same as I feel about "rights". I don't understand where they come from. I don't understand who assigns and/or removes them. I don't understand how performance is graded against them. I just don't see how it applies. I live in the world of consequences and that works for me. I don't think I have any responsibility toward M, but if I want an M/s relationship then I am certainly responsible for doing what's required to have one and vice-versa. If we don't do what it takes to have it, then yes, the consequences will be that we end up sans M/s. Exactly! Leadership is quibbling over semantics. Whether you call them responsibilities, rights, consequences, or "fiddle-faddles", each party in a relationship has things that they need to do to keep that relationship intact. If they don't do those things, the relationship will likely crumble. Leadership (Jeff) has a relationship that came long before the D/s in it ........and which will continue even if the D/s wanes, in some way or other. Our relationship wasn't/isn't built on love or marriage.....it was spawned entirely relating as D/s. It's as natural as breathing for us to know who does what, why and when. It's not written anywhere, we just know it. When either of us behaves remotely out of that, there's an instant uncomfortable distance between us. We're only close in an M/s model, we don't know how to do egalitarian between us, but to have M/s, we have to DO it because lip service doesn't. I look at it in this way......... I'm responsible for paying my bills..........there's no-one else out there that's going to do it and if I want my way of living to continue then it falls to me to do so. Ditto my relationship. agirl

KnightofMists -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 3:21:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mastercesarsub i just want a clear picture as to a doms responsabilities to his sub. and how to go about telling him, reminding, or how ever it would be worded without consaquince. ty sirs I am going to go with making sure that he removes the lint from his belly button..... after that... well it's an open field of possibilities.

sunshinemiss -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 4:53:22 PM)
Sunny Quote of the day goes to KnightofMists [sm=cute.gif] for I am going to go with making sure that he removes the lint from his belly button..... after that... well it's an open field of possibilities.

nephandi -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 5:09:40 PM)
Greetings Well the universal sub's user manual page 155clearly states that... There are no hard and fast rules for what responsibilities a Dom have for a sub, that depend on the relationship in question, there are no universal laws for how a BDSM relationship is to work. Off course you have the normal responsibilities you would for any other human being, if they get very sick or hurt you call an ambulance, you do not leave a sub alone in a helpless state and so on, but other than that it is up to the individuals in a relationship to determine what responsibilities that Dom have for his or her subs, and those rules apply to that relationship. It is what I love about BDSM, it is customizable. :P I wish you well.

celticlady1 -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 6:11:08 PM)
[;)] Most Masters/Doms/ such.. have written rules Once their Relastionship is planted//

lizi -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 7:41:27 PM)
I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common.

LadyPact -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 7:57:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common. That's not entirely correct. "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave: Theory and Practice" by Dr Robert Rubel immediately comes to mind. It's been in publication for years. A number of leather folks have what are commonly known as 'household manuals'. These are basically written instructions for any person who is going to be in service to the house.

ResidentSadist -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/21/2011 11:45:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common. I knew a guy that had 2 bad M/s relationships in a row. So he took several months assembling a 600 page manifesto before acquiring another slave. It had rules, policy, procedures, instructions for almost every aspect of how he wished his house kept and life lived. He had an Asian influence in his perspectives and the manifesto was so good, like a Bushido code for M/s, I wanted a copy. I know all my own life guidelines but never felt compelled to write them out. I have written up a few rules in my day, but for each slave individually. I craft just 10 simple rules, guidelines to live by so to speak. One slave felt compelled to add an 11th rule: "Never ever even consider teasing a sadist"

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 12:29:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum The doms job is to tell you what to do. Your function is to do it. This stuff aint building rocket delivery systems. SHEESH. I do see that your new round these parts but it really is a dumb question. Dom = boss so when your boss tells you to do something do you remind him of their responsibility to you? Im thinking not so much BadOne Ah HA!!!!!! What if she is specifically tasked with building rocket delivery systems, by her master? Then what would be the issues that need to be discussed? I got your "rocket" right here. If any of you smokng hot bitches wanna .... BadOne I can't swear on a bible, but I'm pretty sure, Ron is no one's bitch... Unless the person in his presence is exceptionally good at sucking *ock... Than, it may be possible to get him to admit to chit, right before orgasms.[:D] M

Zoe61 -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 7:46:07 AM)
[I agree that the relationship must be discussed but my recent experiences have been that many Doms, online at least, want immediate total control and obedience without, in some cases, ever showing me (sub) his face!! I thought I would find ,at last, a real man who is eager to train me to His desires and also encourage, at least at first, my voice...is it possible or do Doms really want robots?

kalikshama -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 9:26:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zoe61 [I agree that the relationship must be discussed but my recent experiences have been that many Doms, online at least, want immediate total control and obedience without, in some cases, ever showing me (sub) his face!! I thought I would find ,at last, a real man who is eager to train me to His desires and also encourage, at least at first, my voice...is it possible or do Doms really want robots? Hi Zoe, Welcome! There will be lots of junk in your inbox, we've just been discussing it here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3641858/tm.htm I delete all messages from men who expect instant submission or sound like they reached this site after reading http://www.submissivewomensecrets.com/ KK

gothikbutterfly -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 9:29:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum The doms job is to tell you what to do. Your function is to do it. This stuff aint building rocket delivery systems. SHEESH. I do see that your new round these parts but it really is a dumb question. Dom = boss so when your boss tells you to do something do you remind him of their responsibility to you? Im thinking not so much BadOne Ah HA!!!!!! What if she is specifically tasked with building rocket delivery systems, by her master? Then what would be the issues that need to be discussed? I got your "rocket" right here. If any of you smokng hot bitches wanna .... BadOne CHEEKY DEVIL! lol

gothikbutterfly -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 9:33:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: lizi I would have to say that I have never met or spoken to any Masters/Doms/such that had written rules for their s type. I'm sure some do, but it doesn't seem to be that common. I knew a guy that had 2 bad M/s relationships in a row. So he took several months assembling a 600 page manifesto before acquiring another slave. It had rules, policy, procedures, instructions for almost every aspect of how he wished his house kept and life lived. He had an Asian influence in his perspectives and the manifesto was so good, like a Bushido code for M/s, I wanted a copy. I know all my own life guidelines but never felt compelled to write them out. I have written up a few rules in my day, but for each slave individually. I craft just 10 simple rules, guidelines to live by so to speak. One slave felt compelled to add an 11th rule: "Never ever even consider teasing a sadist" The though has crossed my deliciously devious mind RS, but then I had to remember that I have an open invitation to come and see you and I might regret it later [sm=jaw.gif]

SailingBum -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 11:50:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum The doms job is to tell you what to do. Your function is to do it. This stuff aint building rocket delivery systems. SHEESH. I do see that your new round these parts but it really is a dumb question. Actually, it's not a dumb question. But it is a rather dumb answer. Responsibility in ANY relationship goes both ways. It doesn't matter if the relationship is D/s, M/s, or vanilla. In a D/s or M/s relationship, the Dom's/Domme's responsibility has to extend beyond telling the sub/slave what to do. What if the Dom/Domme isn't doing things that had been agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship? What if the Dom/Domme is neglecting the sub/slave? What if the Dom/Domme is cheating on the sub/slave, and polyamory wasn't part of the original agreement? What if the sub has a medical condition, and wants her Dom to be more careful physically? If you think that your only responsibility as a Dom it to tell your sub what to do, then I seriously question your "domliness". [;)] You really are clueless... UH letsee she could always um let me think about this she could LEAVE ah DUH. Like I said in my previous post try telling your boss about his responsibilities to you. Let me know how that works out for you. Question the bosses authority all you want, as it will only get you fired. Come talk to me when your all growed up. BadOne

juliaoceania -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 12:06:51 PM)
quote: You really are clueless... UH letsee she could always um let me think about this she could LEAVE ah DUH. Like I said in my previous post try telling your boss about his responsibilities to you. Let me know how that works out for you. Question the bosses authority all you want, as it will only get you fired. Come talk to me when your all growed up. There are laws that govern the work place in ways that inhibit bosses from using their authority with impunity. The boss may fire you, but in the end a disgruntled employee may end up owning the company if workplace abuses are found to be too egregious. I am not sure this analogy works very well, as the relationship between boss and employee is much different, and in my experience not so authoritarian as you seem to believe it to be. First of all, there are many levels of "bosses", and not all of them have the power to hire and fire at will. It can be extremely hard to get rid of some employees, even if they absolutely deserve it. And yes, I have questioned a boss or two in my lifetime and retained my job, not all bosses have that large of an ego that any sort of questioning automatically would lead to a dismissal. Just my experience.

SinFix -> RE: what r a doms responsabilities to a sub. (4/22/2011 12:08:40 PM)
only the two of you can come up with that answer... ask him what he thinks and tell him what you think... though for me his responsibilities are to *uck me nine ways to sunday... throw in some pain and humiliation... bound and gagged.... the rest I can take care of myself... well and take care of him too..

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