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Aylee -> RE: What are your rules (4/16/2011 10:38:38 AM)
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Variously stolen from different posters through the years:
You are first and foremost a human being.
Obedience is not negotiable. If there is a problem, you will state the problem in a clear and respectful manner. I will address the problem and alter the instructions, as I deem necessary. You will then be expected to perform the duty as instructed.
Tell me what is going on with you because I am not a mind reader.
Don't put yourself down, do believe in yourself and accept my compliments - try to see yourself through my eyes because I see you as someone worth owning.
Be respectful at all times, period. I will listen to and value opinions and even playfulness, but respect is required.
Never promise what you can't deliver. Don't agree to what you do not understand. It is okay to ask for clarification.
Under no circumstances are you ever to obey a command of mine, which in your considered opinion is likely to result in significant/lasting harm to yourself, the relationship, or myself.
Put another way.... "If I'm being an idiot, please don't enable me"
A dominant is first and foremost a person, a regular human being like anyone else. I may be "in charge", but I still have emotions, fears, moods, hopes, worries and desires in and outside the realm of BDSM. Do not let your need be to be submissive cloud how you perceive me as a person.
A boundary is a boundary.
Use courtesy and civility in conversation with me because I most certainly will with you and I will expect the same.
Have patience. I am just as new to you as you are to me. You will expect it from me as we build and I have every right to expect it from you.
Communicate. I am not a mind reader and I will never make the assumption you are. I like to converse. When the subject is important, I like to converse even more.
You will treat (an) other dominant(s) with courtesy, civility, and respect, unless they behave in a manner non-deserving of your required behavior. Even then, you are expected to look to me first to handle the problem.
If there is a reason (medical, emotional) that certain play has to be avoided; you are to tell me right away.
Do not lie.
You may respectfully request to speak freely without fear of punishment at any time, and may voice your objection to a punishment before it is given.
Orders and requests must be carried out swiftly/ASAP and without complaint or any kind of disrespectful behavior.
Rules and limits will be re-evaluated periodically, or upon request.
All rule or order violations must be reported as soon as possible.
When you are upset or stressed, you must talk/tell me about it.
You must think about the reasons for your thoughts and feelings.
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