RE: Questions for heterosexual men

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porcelaine -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 1:28:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD Would you make a distinction between a woman being a lover and just a good "fuck"? If so, what makes a good lover and what makes a good fuck? What made them exciting? Were there particular things they did? The girl put Rick James to shame. Totally adventurous, non judgmental, and one serious freakazoid! She was a sensualist motivated by mutual pleasure that was unrestrained and very exploratory. The kind that saw a cliff and said, "let's do this" and leaps forward. i don't encounter that everyday but when i do it's worth the experience. [;)] Namaste, ~porcelaine

subfever -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 1:28:20 AM)
quote: What was it about her that made you so extremely attracted? When you say attracted, is this entirely in the physical sense? Or was it both physical and non-physical? It was mostly, but not entirely her physical attributes. Yes, she fit squarely into my box of perceived physical perfection. However, when I first met her, I immediately felt as though I had known her for many many years. She later reported that she had felt the same way. We hit it off instantly and profoundly. quote: Are there things that women do that make it great for you, regardless of whether that chemistry is there? I can't really say, since I've only pursued women within higher physical chemistry ranges.

isoLadyOwner -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 1:36:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD My question for you is: When you think of the best lover you've ever had, what about that woman made them the best lover? Would you make a distinction between a woman being a lover and just a good "fuck"? If so, what makes a good lover and what makes a good fuck? What made them exciting? Were there particular things they did? Depending on the responses, I may add/edit this question to better define my question(s). Thanks! :) Her genuine affection, and passion. I don't see women as "fucks", the fact they have personalities helps.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 1:45:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 They go to extremes others have the good sense to stop at. Usually wild and unpredictable. To give you some idea of what I mean think rabid environmentalist without the environment. Applied to everything in their life. laughing to myself in frustration But what!!! Can you give me one example related to the actual act? What would be unpredictable in sex? quote: ORIGINAL: subfever It was mostly, but not entirely her physical attributes. Yes, she fit squarely into my box of perceived physical perfection. However, when I first met her, I immediately felt as though I had known her for many many years. She later reported that she had felt the same way. We hit it off instantly and profoundly. Not my business, to be sure, but that sounds like a magical relationship...why did it end? quote: ORIGINAL: subfever I can't really say, since I've only pursued women within higher physical chemistry ranges. I thought I understood what you meant, but now I realize maybe I don't. What do you mean by higher physical chemistry ranges? Has there been a woman you've persued, and gotten that didn't turn out to be who you thought they might be but did some wonderful things sexually? quote: ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner Her genuine affection, and passion. I don't see women as "fucks", the fact they have personalities helps. So when you say passion, could you define that further? Does it mean she seems completely into being with you in an intimate fashion? Does it mean her energy level? All that and then something else?

isoLadyOwner -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 2:07:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD quote: ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner Her genuine affection, and passion. I don't see women as "fucks", the fact they have personalities helps. So when you say passion, could you define that further? Does it mean she seems completely into being with you in an intimate fashion? Does it mean her energy level? All that and then something else? Her energy level was through the roof. I don't even consider myself switchable but she was so rough on herself I would have to hold her wrists or she would cover herself in nasty scratches. In hindsight she had me topping her in a lot of ways. It was a wierd dynamic, I didn't want to see her hurt herself. I'm assuming you meant vanilla relationships and even if you didn't I still think of her.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 2:17:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner Her energy level was through the roof. I don't even consider myself switchable but she was so rough on herself I would have to hold her wrists or she would cover herself in nasty scratches. In hindsight she had me topping her in a lot of ways. It was a wierd dynamic, I didn't want to see her hurt herself. I'm assuming you meant vanilla relationships and even if you didn't I still think of her. Rough on herself? How so that would require you to hold her wrists? puzzled Uhm...no, I wasn't referring to vanilla relationships, but all relationships. :)

blacksword404 -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 2:35:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 They go to extremes others have the good sense to stop at. Usually wild and unpredictable. To give you some idea of what I mean think rabid environmentalist without the environment. Applied to everything in their life. laughing to myself in frustration But what!!! Can you give me one example related to the actual act? What would be unpredictable in sex? Kind of hard to explain to you. Unpredictable would be pulling out a spoon mid stroke. [:D]

DeviantlyD -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 2:40:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 Kind of hard to explain to you. Unpredictable would be pulling out a spoon mid stroke. [:D] I'm more confused than ever.

thishereboi -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 5:38:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather i'm not a heterosexual man, so i can't speak from that point of view, but i can from mine. i have had a number of good lovers, all of them women or gay men, i have never encountered a heterosexual man who was more than a mediocre lover. a good lover engages your entire self in the sex. your whole body and mind become an erogenous zone. she fucks all of you. a good lover studies her partner in the minutest detail, memorizing every reaction, every gasp, twitch and sigh, and using that information to deliver the most erotic and satisfying experience possible to her lover. a good lover's primary focus is on her partner. she never allows her own pleasure to distract her from her main purpose, to satisfy her lover in the most complete way she can. a good lover is not some thing you are, it is something you do. hannah lynn Ok, I just have to ask. How did you get the gay men to sleep with you and do they still consider themselves gay?

sunshinemiss -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 5:46:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheHeretic a bi-polar borderline schizophrenic I don't think that's physically possible...

pahunkboy -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 5:58:36 AM)
Easy. Lovers help you pick out furniture. Fucks dont.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 7:06:26 AM)
To the OP. The best lover ever was also My best friend and My slut. A good fuck doesn't have to be either.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 7:37:18 AM)
quote: Ok, I just have to ask. How did you get the gay men to sleep with you and do they still consider themselves gay? because they either owed me so went down on me, or they were told to do it. what they considered themselves is of no concern to me, the attention they payed to me is what mattered. hannah lynn

pahunkboy -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 7:50:42 AM)
DIAMONDS! that is how you tell. ;-)

pahunkboy -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 7:52:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: Ok, I just have to ask. How did you get the gay men to sleep with you and do they still consider themselves gay? because they either owed me so went down on me, or they were told to do it. what they considered themselves is of no concern to me, the attention they payed to me is what mattered. hannah lynn ....a learn something every day. It was never something I wanted to do... but then that is me.

DomKen -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 7:53:18 AM)
The best and most memorable lover of my life was the woman who didn't expect me to instantly know exactly how she liked to be touched etc. She let me know exactly what she liked and didn't like and she didn't assume I liked what her last boyfriend liked. She was willing to try most anything a couple of times. Sometimes sex with her was about passion and need and sometimes it was silly and playful. And finally she was a great friend, we could talk for hours.

DomImus -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 8:05:02 AM)
DeviantlyD (in italics) When you think of the best lover you've ever had, what about that woman made them the best lover? The woman in my life today (and hopefully for the rest of my days) is the best lover I have ever been with. I honestly cannot quantify why that is. It just is. We fit together (pun only partially intended) in ways I have never connected with another person and I am sure she would describe it the same way. I've tried to figure it out myself over the years and I cannot. It just works. I will say one thing. I have been with enough women in my life to constitute what mathematicians might call a "statistically valid sample". Every single relationship I have previously had was either: a) really great friends outside the bedroom but lackluster in the bedroom or b) really hot sex but lackluster outside the bedroom and this is the first person I have ever been with who is great on both counts. Maybe that's it. One side feeds another. I do know that our sex has been steadily getting hotter (and it started out pretty incendiary) for the past six years and I have never had a sustained great sexual (or otherwise) relationship for this long. There is something there. *Would you make a distinction between a woman being a lover and just a good "fuck"?* I suppose so. You must be the latter to be the former. You can be only the latter without being the former but I don't think you will be as good (no matter how well you fuck) if you don't have all the ingredients i.e. "a" and "b" listed above. There is also the angle that without all of the other relationship baggage sex in and of itself is far more enjoyable as a physical act, in my opinion. If so, what makes a good lover and what makes a good fuck? What made them exciting? Were there particular things they did? For me, bondage always made an average fuck good and always made a good fuck great. Go figure. I remember the ones who let me tie them up far more fondly. Beyond that I prefer not to answer this question in an open forum. *What makes a lover bad?* In a nutshell, the inability to kiss properly. Kills everything from jump street. While I have only been with a few who did not possess that basic skill it made them stand out like a sore thumb. Someone else alluded to good sex and psycho bitch theatrics. Been there, done that. Not necessarily all it's cracked up to be. I guess it's okay if all you ever do with them is fuck them - definitely not worth the out of bed theatrics.

tazzygirl -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 8:07:06 AM)
quote: Someone else alluded to good sex and psycho bitch theatrics. Been there, done that. Not necessarily all it's cracked up to be. I guess it's okay if all you ever do with them is fuck them - definitely not worth the out of bed theatrics. Oh how I agree. I dont mind a great mind fuck in the bedroom.... outside of it, it gets old really fast.

pahunkboy -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 8:16:42 AM)
^ chuckles. Good post.

XXMystiqueXX -> RE: Questions for heterosexual men (4/17/2011 8:18:59 AM)
Well first I need to change the word woman to man <G>....but on to answer your question.... what made him the best lover? The amount of time he took, his obvious desire to bring me to new heights of pleasure never experienced before, making sure I was like a limp dishrag when he was finished w/ me <weg> and then, best of all, the most loving cuddle time afterwards. Lover vs good fuck? Lover was described above........ a good fuck is just that. (although obviously there can be more to the good fuck than just intercourse)..... A good fuck to me is rough, slamming sex......hot, fast, peel the paint off the bedroom wall, freaky sex...... What made that exciting and what did he do? Hmmm the rape scenes were beyond awesome, walking into my house only to have someone throw a linen bag over my head, bind my hands and then rape me was one helluva turn on, for both of us. Sponteneity was always in play w/ him. Ahhhhhhhhhh such memories LOL........almost could say I miss him errrrrrrrrrrr the lover/good fuck part for sure. Not the person. LOLOL

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