I need some help =/

I need some help =/ (Full Version)

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chibiwolf -> I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 10:11:08 AM)
My Master and me are both dedicated to the christian religion. Two days ago he told me he wanted to give himself to God and be a better person. This includes not having sex anymore since we aren't married. He also thinks that he shouldn't possibly be my Master anymore. Seeing as it may cause problems in his efforts. In my opinion theres no reason we can't remain in our M/S relationship as long as there isn't sex involved or anything else that the Bible forbids. He feels that giving it up all together may be better so that he can change himself for the better. But thats the last thing i want. I still want to serve him very much. I don't care about not having sex. As long as I can serve my Master i'm happy. I support him 100% in what he's doing and i think it may be good for the both of us. I just wish I can stll serve him. What does anyone think about this all? =/

Killerangel -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 10:27:26 AM)
I think you are both very young and things fluctuate quite a bit during that stage of life, it's how we figure out who we are and what we do eventually want. If he says he wants certain things and he is dedicated to following them through, that's pretty admirable. Standing up for your ideals and then going out to achieve them is tough because we then have to do hard things. I'm sure it does cause him problems to have you be with him - temptation and all that. You dont see many priests going into stripper bars, they kind of know that if they want to stay away from a certain thing they have to not be in the presence of it. If he says he wants to do this and he's figured how he thinks he will be successful, then it seems that unfortunately you don't have a place with him any longer. I'm sorry, but you can't serve someone who doesn't require your services anymore. It's hard to let go when you care for someone but it doesn't really look like you have a choice. You probably didn't want to hear that. Look at it this way, you and he...your needs and visions don't match any longer on some key issues. It's not a personal thing, it's that you are no longer compatible. You wouldn't want him to keep you around out of pity or because you needed it when he didn't. He's got something he wants to do, it sucks, but you aren't a part of it anymore. You'll be sad for a while and then hopefully move on to find someone who can have a relationship with you that meets what both of you want. I wish you the best of luck.

chibiwolf -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 10:37:40 AM)
He isn't just my Master. He's also my bf. So...im not willing to throw away my entire relationship with him for this. I understand that it'll be hard. But in my opinion, I think i'll get used to it. And then when we get married we can continue in what we want. We are both still very young like you said. We may discover that neither one of us will miss the relationship. Then again we may miss it alot. I believe in the same things he does. I guess I just never gave it much thought till now. I think that we'll be ok. We dated for more then half a year before we ever officially made our relationship a M/S one. This wasn't what our relationship was based on. Rather it became a part of it because we have similar interests. He doesn't love me any less or anything. Our feelings haven't changed. Just he's trying to take care of both of us in a spiritual way. To me...not being able to be his slave isn't worth losing him over. I'll miss it alot. But...id rather stay with him without it then not have him at all.

Hillwilliam -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 11:39:43 AM)
The Southern Baptists say "The wife should submit to her husband" Those are the exact words. I have a feeling they aren't talking about kink but I see no problem with a monogamous, married couple being Christian as well as Dom and sub. Look up 50's household. Added. you are both REALLY young OK. It seems like the end of the world now but both of you have a lot of emotional growth ahead of you. You seem to have a level head on your shoulders and I'm sure it will work out fine.

DesFIP -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 12:20:09 PM)
I think he's looking to end the relationship without being the bad guy and saying so. I suggest you have a serious talk and ask him outright if he wants to keep dating you. And be prepared to accept his answer.

SailingBum -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 12:59:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chibiwolf My Master and me are both dedicated to the christian religion. Two days ago he told me he wanted to give himself to God and be a better person. This includes not having sex anymore since we aren't married. He also thinks that he shouldn't possibly be my Master anymore. Seeing as it may cause problems in his efforts. In my opinion theres no reason we can't remain in our M/S relationship as long as there isn't sex involved or anything else that the Bible forbids. He feels that giving it up all together may be better so that he can change himself for the better. But thats the last thing i want. I still want to serve him very much. I don't care about not having sex. As long as I can serve my Master i'm happy. I support him 100% in what he's doing and i think it may be good for the both of us. I just wish I can stll serve him. What does anyone think about this all? =/ Those are real scary words God and Religion. ppl use God as a excuse all the time to either change their or someone else's behavior and I find it reprehensible! The newspaper is full of these stories<can you say catholic priest>. So along comes this guy...who doesn't have the balls to tell his GF the real deal. OH NO this lowlife invokes the G word. Are you fucking kidding me??? ppl change for the better all the time without using the G word. Run don't walk away from this guy as he has no spine. Keeping it real. BadOne

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 1:50:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I think he's looking to end the relationship without being the bad guy and saying so. I suggest you have a serious talk and ask him outright if he wants to keep dating you. And be prepared to accept his answer. This is what I thought first. Having said that, I hope it's just born again"isms," and not using God to get rid of his relationship. *Not stalking you Celeste... I swear! [8D]

Focus50 -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 2:13:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chibiwolf My Master and me are both dedicated to the christian religion. Two days ago he told me he wanted to give himself to God and be a better person. This includes not having sex anymore since we aren't married. He also thinks that he shouldn't possibly be my Master anymore. Seeing as it may cause problems in his efforts. In my opinion theres no reason we can't remain in our M/S relationship as long as there isn't sex involved or anything else that the Bible forbids. He feels that giving it up all together may be better so that he can change himself for the better. But thats the last thing i want. I still want to serve him very much. I don't care about not having sex. As long as I can serve my Master i'm happy. I support him 100% in what he's doing and i think it may be good for the both of us. I just wish I can stll serve him. What does anyone think about this all? =/ While I don't have any problem believing in a divine being such as God, I also believe religion is one of the great cancers of the human race. It's the quintessential vehicle for promoting hatred and intolerance and has been the catalyst for too many wars and atrocities. At an individual level, religion knows how to make a buck. And the favourite hook is the easy answers they offer disaffected people; troubled people. Which, in my opinion, might be at the heart of your master's newly discovered enlightenment. While I agree in part with Celeste (DesFIP) that you need a discussion that includes tough questions (AND answers), you'll probably find those who think religion is the answer don't wanna talk about where they're coming from rather than the "better" place they're going to. If he's lying to himself, you'll get the same denials from him. Where I don't necessarily agree with Celeste (I could be wrong) is that I'm not convinced he wants to break up with you. I tend to think his troubles are greater than your relationship and this "no sex" thing is the price of compromise to both (you and religion). Of course you don't wanna break up with him - that's the easy answer in itself. Your bigger question is do you wanna embrace religion, yourself? Because he's taking on a master of his own, and you're gonna spend more time competing for his attention and doing without a lot that you're used to. I'd prepare to break up, IF you're incapable of living in denial, yourself. To thine own self, be true.... (hmmmm, I'm dumping on religion with post number 2 triple 6 (as I look over my shoulder....). [8\|] Focus.

LadyPact -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 2:15:52 PM)
Some folks are going to 'poo-poo' this response, but I do know folks who have found religion and gave up kink and/or the power dynamic aspect of their relationships. They didn't feel that the two lifestyles could mix without a conflict of interests. It was the right decision for them at that time. While checking into 1950's households may provide some material of interest, I'd probably be doing some google searches on "Christian BDSM". I'm not saying that your boyfriend will be interested in reading it or changing his mind, but it's a thought.

salemartist -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 2:42:57 PM)
Jesus had 12 followers that would do anything asked of them at any given time without hesitation or question. Mary Magdalin stood by his side until the very end never losing her devotion even after he was dead. these dynamics are echoed alot in a 24/7 D/s relationship. You say you are both devoted to the christian religon, if your following those ideals wholeheartedly, he has a point that having premarital sex, in most christian based religons is seen as a no-no, but then again so is molesting 12 year old alter boys. I will not judge you, but if your both as you say devoted christians, you should seek your answers in the Bible. I cant quote verse, but your preacher could. Isnt there something about false idols? wouldnt serving a Master in the M/s dynamic be slghtly exhaulting the Master? the Bible was written 2,000 years ago, some of it some 40 years after Jesus' death, alot of the scriptures are difficult to maintain in a modern word. Theres also literaly hundreds of adaptations of the Christian faith, from Presprtirian to Jahovahs witnesses, from born again, to Baptist, each making their own translations ona wide variety of things, sex included. Your Pastor, revrend or elder is the best to give advise on tyour personal faith and situation. Pagans dont have this problem, just sayin....

SailingBum -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 3:26:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: salemartist Jesus had 12 followers that would do anything asked of them at any given time without hesitation or question. Mary Magdalin stood by his side until the very end never losing her devotion even after he was dead. these dynamics are echoed alot in a 24/7 D/s relationship. You say you are both devoted to the christian religon, if your following those ideals wholeheartedly, he has a point that having premarital sex, in most christian based religons is seen as a no-no, but then again so is molesting 12 year old alter boys. I will not judge you, but if your both as you say devoted christians, you should seek your answers in the Bible. I cant quote verse, but your preacher could. Isnt there something about false idols? wouldnt serving a Master in the M/s dynamic be slghtly exhaulting the Master? the Bible was written 2,000 years ago, some of it some 40 years after Jesus' death, alot of the scriptures are difficult to maintain in a modern word. Theres also literaly hundreds of adaptations of the Christian faith, from Presprtirian to Jahovahs witnesses, from born again, to Baptist, each making their own translations ona wide variety of things, sex included. Your Pastor, revrend or elder is the best to give advise on tyour personal faith and situation. Pagans dont have this problem, just sayin.... You my friend or one of those "scary ones" as you tosses out Jesus fiction as Fact.. ppl do it all the time to enhance their position on something sometimes it's a honest mistake most times not so much. Depending on which bible "version" you claim as yours the old testament the Torah is the oldest dating back almost to the beginning of "modern man" FYI the new testament in the bible was written 300 to 400 years after his death. Furthermore they "left out" a few of his disciples writings entirely cuz they didn't quite agree with each other.... things that make you go hmmmm. One of the 12 you described was a traitor to Jesus. So lets leave God and religion out of this conversation. Cuz if there is a God Im quite sure could care less about BDSM. If you live your life doing onto others as you would have them do onto you. You will not go wrong in life. BadOne

littlewonder -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 3:31:31 PM)
If it were me in your place I would stand beside him because I am a christian and I believe in submitting to my man. So if one day he said he didn't want sex anymore so that he could more fully give himself to God I would smile and do whatever I could to help him in that growth. That is my way of serving...helping him. Continue to be a good girlfriend. Stand beside him. Continue to obey him. Do what you can to help him in any way you can....cook, clean, wash his clothes...be a good "wife". THAT'S how you serve him.

NocturnalStalker -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 3:38:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chibiwolf My Master and me are both dedicated to the christian religion. Two days ago he told me he wanted to give himself to God and be a better person. This includes not having sex anymore since we aren't married. He also thinks that he shouldn't possibly be my Master anymore. Seeing as it may cause problems in his efforts. In my opinion theres no reason we can't remain in our M/S relationship as long as there isn't sex involved or anything else that the Bible forbids. He feels that giving it up all together may be better so that he can change himself for the better. But thats the last thing i want. I still want to serve him very much. I don't care about not having sex. As long as I can serve my Master i'm happy. I support him 100% in what he's doing and i think it may be good for the both of us. I just wish I can stll serve him. What does anyone think about this all? =/ "I want to fuck another girl. See ya."

DarkSteven -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 4:39:46 PM)
Ask him where he sees the relationship as going. It either will lead to marriage, or die out... which one will it be?

sunshinemiss -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 4:50:31 PM)
First, is this something completely new? Is he "converted"? Has he "found" Jesus? If that's the case, if it's a Pentecostal kind of thing, that's a very different kettle of fish than one who has decided to be more deeply Catholic. The whole priest thing, you know. Is this a deepening of what he already has? Oftentimes, people who are your age are bombarded within religious organizations about he evils of sex and how it will ruin your relationship with Gd. Why is that? Because it is POWERFUL. It is a glorious way of celebrating the physical, the body, the temple that is your body. But Christian religion generally wants to hold that power instead of celebrating it. It's part of the package so to speak. Realistically, it's hard to unring the bell... in fact you can't. Even though he may not want to be sexual, if you've already been getting busy, it's going to be nigh unto impossible to stop. He's 18. He's at his sexual peak. He thinks of sex every 6 seconds. That's pretty tough to ignore. I think this may be why folks are thinking he's digging on another girl. Is what he is saying true? Does he really want to do that or is he just saying it - dumping the blame on Gd instead of being a man about it and saying, "it's not working for me"? Be careful with your heart. Listen to not just his words, but his actions. Don't make him a priority if you are merely an option. This could very well be a slippery slope down to dumping you land. Or it could be a sincere wish to integrate more religion into his life (I've seen it happen). Regardless, don't be foolish. Keep your wits about you. Fill your time with other things. Don't be alone with him - there is a reason chaperones have been popular through the ages. good luck, sunshine

lizi -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 5:41:17 PM)
For whatever reason he's withdrawing from you and changing the terms of the relationship...it doesn't look good for the two of you. I won't debate his reasons because they are beside the point actually - change isn't bad, but withdrawing and putting more distance between two people isn't generally a good sign no matter what is driving it. This isnt the end of the world, you are both young, it's a given that you'll both meet more people and move on. No matter how much you think you'll be together forever, it just doesn't generally happen that at 18 that you meet the person you're with for good. It's healthy for people to meet and try out different people before settling on the one person they want to stick with, that's how you'll know what you want eventually. There is no one at fault here, you two aren't a match anymore. It happens, especially when we're young. I think he's moving on. You can certainly wait and see how it plays out, just be prepared that his life seems to be going in a direction away from you. What the two of you had seems to have been good, and you'll miss it I'm sure, and it'll suck if he is indeed moving on and then you'll be ok in the end.

gothikbutterfly -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 5:43:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chibiwolf My Master and me are both dedicated to the christian religion. Two days ago he told me he wanted to give himself to God and be a better person. This includes not having sex anymore since we aren't married. He also thinks that he shouldn't possibly be my Master anymore. Seeing as it may cause problems in his efforts. In my opinion theres no reason we can't remain in our M/S relationship as long as there isn't sex involved or anything else that the Bible forbids. He feels that giving it up all together may be better so that he can change himself for the better. But thats the last thing i want. I still want to serve him very much. I don't care about not having sex. As long as I can serve my Master i'm happy. I support him 100% in what he's doing and i think it may be good for the both of us. I just wish I can stll serve him. What does anyone think about this all? =/ its posts like this that make me glad i am a pagan.

ResidentSadist -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 5:46:21 PM)
-=About leaving the lifestyle=- You guys both seem a little confused. You're in the lifestyle but then he wants out but you don't. He is your boyfriend... he is your lover... then your Master... then not your Master... then not your lover... but will eventually be your husband and lover again . . . in the name of religion? You weren't christian but now you are gonna' be. FUCK................... I'd need some help too! Look, I'll be straight up with you. You seem sorta' desperate to belong to something or someone and you appear to grasp at any straws thrown your way. You want to belong so badly, you are willing to serve without sex, for the sake of service alone just so you can belong to him and be of use. I have a religious question. If you were fornicating "sinners" and he really plans to get married to you, how does stopping sex now change how things will be in the marriage? You'll still be ex-sinners either way. I think you need to clear up whom or what you plan to obey. Are you gonna' obey your desires? Are gonna' obey him? Are you gonna' obey the church? All three seem to have overlapping conflicts so you can't obey them all. Choose one or the other and all your conflicts will end. Good luck in your self discovery, I know it can be a bumpy ride. However, if you were a Detroit girl, you would him sit down, get coin and a gun. Heads - you shoot him in the foot so he slows down and stops jerking you in so many different directions. Tails - you shoot him in the dick because if he won't use it on you, no one else is getting it either. Just sayin' [:)] -=About your/his choice in religions=- One path, to one God, through the King and one church, the Church of England. I'm an old fashioned guy. I even dig retro, but molding my lifestyle and values around a religion that is based on a book created for King James by the Church of England in 1611 is just a little toooooo retro for me. Taking the origins of the Bible and it purpose into account removes most of its credibility for me. It wasn't written by God, it was a work for hire, written by 47 scholars, all of whom were members of the Church of England. King James contracted the work and the greek scrolls, which were a translation of a translation were rewritten specifically per his instructions. The purpose of this work for hire was to empower the King by unifying the people under one church and one God. Previously, the Bible had been a collection of scrolls about several different gods and compiled into "bibliotheca" (library). The Bible had to be rewritten with one god, one heaven, one hell and it took those 47 scholars from 1604 to 1611 to do it. The result: One path, to one God, through the King and one church, the Church of England. If you are sincerely interested in living a retro lifestyle, you should know Christianity is among the youngest religions. There are lots of other religions out there based on really old text, some go back to the Sumarians.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 5:49:36 PM)
babe, you're pretty much fucked. walk away. hannah lynn

ResidentSadist -> RE: I need some help =/ (4/19/2011 5:52:35 PM)
^ what they said

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