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RE: when your dominant becomes submissive - 4/23/2011 10:30:00 AM

txurinal

Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
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When owned, i was sub to both MASTERS. However, MASTER B was usually submissive to MASTER A. Never bothered me, that was just the way things were at home.

i was lent out to other MASTERS and remember one who upon my arrival, had me strip and took me over HIS knee for a heavy duty paddling. When done, HE lay back on the bed and threw HIS legs and ordered me to fuck HIM.

(in reply to domiguy)

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RE: when your dominant becomes submissive - 4/23/2011 5:22:04 PM

subbykat

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softlips76

Hi all, I'm dealing with a bit of an issue... I am currently being trained by an amazing lady. Our relationship is more that of good friends along w/the D/s dynamic. She has other slaves and the ones I've chatted with seem to adore her, however, they're also male. LOL

She also happens to be training a dominant. When she started training him, their relationship was that of Teacher/Student. She would sub for him to train him properly. I have NEVER liked seeing her in submissive mode. Even before she was my Mistress. Now their relationship has deepened and she is submissive to him almost all the time. I'm not sure she realizes it. It distresses me to see the woman I submit to, the woman who wants me to surrender to her, so submissive. Especially when the person she submits to is someone I have no respect for. Yes I have met him and while his 1st impression was BAD, the rest haven't been much better.

Before anyone brings it up, I have wondered if what I was feeling was jealousy. I don't believe that it is. I love watching her in action with her other subs/slaves. She looks powerful, gorgeous, sexy. As a submissive, she's still beautiful, but when I see her that way, she is not someone I want having control over me.

How do I approach this with her? I do realize that when I do approach this it will mean not only the end of our D/s relationship, but possibly our friendship as well. :(

It must be difficult seeing your Mistress in a way that undermines her power over you. But there's much power in submission, just as there is in being dominant. If you could see her submission...her ability to yield to another... as a strength, rather than a weakness, it might help you better understand and respect your own role.

It's like the saying goes, "Water lays low, but it can move mountains."

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/23/2011 5:30:17 PM >

(in reply to softlips76)

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RE: when your dominant becomes submissive - 4/23/2011 8:51:20 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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I am not sure how i would react to N subbing to someone else. I think it would depend on the activities. Oddly enough it would probably not bother me to see him be physically topped but not be humiliated. I am not sure why it would bother me.

OP you need to communicate this with your dominant and then decide if you can live with the outcome.

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RE: when your dominant becomes submissive - 4/24/2011 9:58:40 AM

softlips76

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/11/2010
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I think my biggest problem is that someone I respect is submitting to someone I do not, will not, and cannot respect. Thus my respect for her diminishes each time I see it.

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RE: when your dominant becomes submissive - 4/24/2011 2:32:30 PM

aromanholiday

Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softlips76

I think my biggest problem is that someone I respect is submitting to someone I do not, will not, and cannot respect. Thus my respect for her diminishes each time I see it.

Yes, you mentioned before that he didn't make the greatest impression on you when you met. What is it about the male dominant that is difficult for you?

I'm not giving advice, because I don't know what to say. I don't have problems being around switches who are domiannt to me, but you are in a very extreme circumstance in this regard. Watching my dominant be dominated would probably be very hard and confusing for me. I'm a little surprised your Mistress has subjected you to this, but if she feels close enough to you to want you to be hers, perhaps it is because she wants to share a level of intimacy with you that she cannot with others, whom she has to always be the great Mistress around. As hard as this is, it is something of an honour: she's trusting you enough to show you a side of herself that she can't directly expose others to.

_____________________________

"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.

(in reply to softlips76)

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RE: when your dominant becomes submissive - 4/24/2011 2:40:54 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softlips76

I think my biggest problem is that someone I respect is submitting to someone I do not, will not, and cannot respect. Thus my respect for her diminishes each time I see it.

Then that might suggest that you believe you have a say so where her private life is concerned and the seeming 'double standard' that many refer to - where you're submitting to someone rather than the reverse - is really off its kilter. From my perspective either you want her and can accept the situation or not. And while i understand in theory what you're stating, this issue with approval seems a wee bit strange. If you're contemplating the situation merely due to the lack of respect for the other person, what happens the next time she does something you don't approve of. Will you reconsider the relationship once more?

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to softlips76)

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