Lionesse
Posts: 29
Joined: 5/8/2006
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Heigh ho, it's that annoying domme from the "fell in love with my slave" thread, thinking aloud about some new ground rules that can sustain a healthy D/s relationship for me and my subbie partner. The thread's over here if you care: http://www.collarchat.com/Fell_in_love_with_my_slave%2C_made_mistakes_in_his_training%25/m_363478/tm.htm
Here's a couple disclaimers right up front.
1: This is a first draft, and could stand lots of improvement and better organizing. I basically scribbled down my thoughts and ideas in order to take a better look at them.
2. These Slave Rules are for my own personal relationship, and are not meant to imply that I believe this is the right way for everyone else. Other people can borrow what they like out of them and ignore the bits that they don't think will work for them personally. A healthy D/s relationship is based on what two (or more) people can actually live with on a sustainable day to day basis, not on some arbitrary crap that somebody else made up and posted on the Internet.
3. The dominant in this relationship has been doing naughty kinky things to people in the BDSM community for nearly twenty years on the RACK principle (risk aware consensual kink) and has a pretty good grip on things like safety and day to day reality checks to keep a relationship physically, mentally and emotionally healthy with room for personal and spiritual growth. But feel free to get your panties in a wad anyhow if the concept of a no-safeword relationship squicks ya. Differences of opinion are what makes the world go round.
Here ya go. Rip'em apart.
A Slave's Body
A slave must be ready for his Owner’s use and discipline at any time. A slave’s cock and his ass belong completely to his Owner, along with the rest of his body, and they must be maintained properly. The slave’s pubic area will be kept smoothly shaved.During every shower or bath, the slave will clean himself in these areas carefully, keeping in mind that he is doing so to be ready for his Owner’s pleasure. He will also meditate on how lucky he is to be owned and used as a sex slave.The slave is never permitted to touch himself for his own pleasure without his Owner’s permission. A slave’s orgasm is a great privilege, and he should be aware that he is very, very lucky that his Owner happens to enjoy causing them.The slave may be kept in chastity for extended periods, locked up and not permitted any orgasm.
Pleasure and Privileges
A slave’s comfort and pleasure are privileges, not rights. With the understanding that it is healthy and normal for a slave to be allowed to pursue his interests as well as attend to his normal adult responsibilities and relationships (family, job, friends, etc), he is not automatically entitled to do so any time he feels like it. He does have standing orders to take care of his own adult responsibilities and relationships. The Owner will do her best not to place her personal desires or whims above her property’s actual responsibilities, and will encourage her property to learn and grow as a healthy person by pursuing his own interests and hobbies. However, the time to pursue these interests does not belong to the slave by right, but to the Owner. Leisure time activities are a privilege, not a right. He is property, and property can have privileges taken away at any time. If the slave has not attended to his duties and chores, but feels the real need to relax with some leisure time for mental health before getting to work, he must specifically ask for this privilege to be granted. Since there is mutual trust and caring between Owner and slave, it most likely will be. He can also negotiate a “time out” period from the more intense D/s dynamics. “Time out” is healthy for both dominants and submissives and is always okay for either person to ask for. However it will be the exception rather than the rule.While enjoying leisure activities, the slave should remember to be grateful for this privilege and to demonstrate his submission and gratitude.Time taken to enjoy leisure activities does not necessarily mean time outside of submission. A slave may be naked and collared, or in some other form of bondage, while watching television or surfing the Net, unless he is in a mental health “time out” period of relaxing away from the D/s relationship.All pleasures, without exception, are granted by the Owner and not something the slave is entitled to. For instance, while a slave has to eat and drink, dog food and water is perfectly healthy. The slave will periodically spend time with little or no pleasure and privilege, which will make him more fully appreciate the pleasures and privileges he does normally have rather than simply taking it for granted that his Owner likes to make him happy.
Accepting Responsibility
It is a slave’s responsibility to ask for his training sessions and to work hard to obey the training rules. He should not always need to be told or reminded. At least once a day, he will kneel and ask to serve. When he is in the house for an extended period of time, he will remove his clothes, kneel and ask to be collared. The alternative to doing these things every day is to ask for a “time out” for the day. It is okay to negotiate a time out for mental health, but it is not okay to simply fail to obey the slave rules. Failing to obey when a time-out has not been negotiated is grounds for real punishment. The slave will approach his Owner and kneel at least once a day, whether to ask to be collared or to ask if he can be of service. He will ask in an attractive way, doing his best to be pleasing. The only exception to this rule is if he asks for a “time out” insteadIn general, when it is practical and possible, the slave will not wear clothes in the house and will wear his collar.
Calling Time Out
Time out periods are appropriate to ask for when life circumstances, responsibility to job or family, mental or physical health dictates. Time out periods are not appropriate to ask for in order to pursue leisure activities to excess or to escape punishment. The slave must allow conscience and honor to be his guide. The “time out” is good for one day only and needs to be re-negotiated every day. It is perfectly okay to continue negotiating time-out away from the rules and into a more relaxed vanilla dynamic for several days in a row if circumstances and mental health dictates. During a “time out”, the slave is still expected to remember that he is property and must treat his Owner with respect. His ultimate goal is the same as hers, which is to be a genuinely good slave in a healthy and functional long term D/s relationship that makes both partners happy.
What "Property" Means
A slave has no limits and no right to say no to his Owner, not if he really is owned property. A slave trusts his Owner absolutely to have his best interests in mind. A slave may always ask or beg, but he has no automatic rights, except the right to leave the relationship or to ask for a major re-negotiation if he feels that it is truly abusive or unhealthy for him. A slave may always ask or beg if he feels that he needs or wants something, or if something scares him. Most likely the petition will be granted, as his Owner very much enjoys making her slave happy, and is ethically committed to keeping him healthy. The concept of safeword is replaced by the concept of begging for mercy, which does not have to be granted. The slave trusts his Owner not to cause him true harm. A slave has no right to say “You must stop now,” but instead has to beg. In practice, the Owner has no interest in doing things to the slave that are much beyond an erotically enjoyable level. In theory, the right to do them anyway is very important to the reality of the Owner/owned relationship.
High Protocol
The opposite of a “time out” period is a “high protocol” period, which either partner may ask for. This must also be negotiated on a daily basis. The rules for “high protocol” are stricter than normal rules. All the normal slave rules apply, with the following additions that apply only during negotiated periods of “high protocol”: The slave may not use furniture without permission. He sits or lies down only on the floor. He cannot automatically expect to sleep in the bed with his Owner, but must beg for this privilege. If he does not beg permission to his Owner’s satisfaction, he sleeps on the floor.The slave will eat only when fed, and may drink only water unless he asks special permission. He must eat from a plate on the floor with only his hands. Eating utensils are never permitted. The slave will always address his Owner in a respectful manner, by a title or in a manner that clearly displays his submission.The slave must spend a minimum of an hour a day in some form of bondage or restraint, which could include ankle or wrist cuffs with a chain, a buttplug, a chastity device or cock ring, or any other form of restraint. He must specifically ask for his bondage time if the rule for the day is “high protocol”.The slave will sleep in some form of bondage, whether on the floor or on the bed. Again he is required to ask to be bound to sleep.
So yeah, I think I can have some fun with this. More importantly, based on my experience this is what I think I can successfully institute and live with on a day to day basis. Whatcha think?
< Message edited by Lionesse -- 5/9/2006 2:44:43 PM >
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My Slave Rules (which are not necessarily better than y... - 
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