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nicochan -> brought up catholic/poly and bdsm influences on people (5/9/2006 3:44:03 PM)
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i kind of have two issues that are related.
Like the subject says, i was brought up Catholic. i was adopted by my grandparents and grew up a good Catholic girl. i was sheltered, and i have a theory that 2 bouts of depression and a lifetime of anxiety disorders (that I've learned to manage with two medications and good friends) has made my mental age more like 18 to my chronological 23. i am in college, a little over a year from graduating, and i am more independent than i was, though i always have been very dependent. i was with my ex-fiance for almost 7 years until he decided that he was through with being nice, i suppose, and said he'd been trying to change me the whole time, and became more of a snob than he already was. We had tried a few slightly kinky things, but nothing big. i was wanting answers from him on why he told me one day after a long break from our relationship and just dated each other again to work things out, but some girl asked to date him exclusively or not at all and he accepted. A guy friend of mine that had just transferred to my university and i started talking and got really close. He informed me that he was in an open marriage, during some part of the conversation, we talked about other things, and he was very sweet. It was comforting, we grew closer fast and we slept together because i was feeling vulnerable, but we ended up really caring for each other. We started a D/s and M/s relationship, He became my Master and He was there to comfort me. His Wife joined in, as she is bisexual, and i have discovered that i am bi as well. Now He and His Wife are my Owners, and i couldn't be happier. We recently celebrated the first anniversary of my collaring. i feel like i've known them forever, and that i've waited for this my whole life. i theoretically mentioned being in a relationship with them, and my mom flipped out, saying things like "I raised you better than that," "That's adultery," and "You're a good Catholic girl, you're a better person than that," though she calmed down with i lied and told her that i was just wondering and that it wasn't true. Sometimes she and dad say things about planning for the future and hoping that i'll be okay and secure (my dad has terminal lung cancer), that i will be married and have money and a place of my own. Sometimes i want that, too, because i'm such a traditionalist, and i missed out with my ex-fiance. If the circumstances hasn't worked out like they had, that IS what i would be looking for, not a poly relationship. But i also know how happy i am, how much i love Them and They love me, and how i love making Them happy and Their lives better. The three of us walk hand in hand together, not caring what others think, except in regards to Her job as a teacher at the university we all attend for Her Phd, my BA. in art, and His MA, and His future job as a counselor specializing in Human Sexuality. We also participate in BDSM activities with the local group. i wonder sometimes if i can do this for the rest of my life, if it will affect my mental health, getting a job or being passed over for one, etc. i know that sexual orientation cannot be discriminated against, but are there loopholes, like being fired without reason? Does anyone have any experience or insights that would help? i'm so comfortable and happy in this relationship, with people who love me and help me when my anxiety and depression spike from stress, who accept me just the way i am. i just want to know what i should/can do now to prevent possible problems.
Also, BDSM and "threesome relationships" are becoming popular on TV, like Big Love, polygamy arrests, a recent episode of Boston Legal with a married threesome that had to get divorced, a recent episode of CSI where the secondary became alpha in every way in name and the alpha killed her, news about slave contracts being taken to court, the Mistress Heather CSI episodes, and probably many more. The ex told me he thinks that my Master is "the biggest ball of slime [he's] ever met," and i hope that others don't think the same way, about us and about others like us around the country, even the world. How do you think these "hot topics" in news and television are influencing the way people think about polyamory and/or BDSM? Or are there some people that refuse to be influenced and hold their beliefs to the stereotypes? Do these topics change or influence religion or the religious (priests, nuns, maybe even the Pope, etc.) in any way?
Sorry for such a long post. i have psychology and sociology on the brain at the moment, as psych is my minor.
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