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taking the next step - 5/9/2006 3:57:21 PM   
totallycaptive39


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/23/2006
Status: offline 		i have not been in the lifestyle for very long....less than a year...i am submissive but have been conversing with a Master seeking a slave...i am struggling.although i know what i feel inside of me.....can i fully give up all rights? Can anyone give me any insight  in how they came to know they were ready to make that step. thank-you
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 4:17:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A)  When you aren't asking that question anymore

B)  When you can clearly see the next five years of your life in the position you are commiting yourself to

Why the need to rush from step A to step Y? 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to totallycaptive39)
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RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 4:18:36 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		If you haven't lived with a dominant in some sort of D/s relationship, trying to start with something extreme is doomed to failure.  Yes there are 17 people here who pulled it off and are living happily ever after, but most of those relationships are a year or two old.

How many nights have you spent in bed with this man?  Would you consider him if you wanted a vanilla relationship?  How many BDSM partners have you had?


(in reply to totallycaptive39)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 4:37:12 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) When you aren't asking that question anymore



i have to agree with this. as long as there is doubt in your mind, you are not ready.

you will know when a man comes along whom you want to serve and worship for the rest of your life, there will be no more questions, just need, desire, and urge to submit completely.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 4:39:38 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

If you haven't lived with a dominant in some sort of D/s relationship, trying to start with something extreme is doomed to failure. Yes there are 17 people here who pulled it off and are living happily ever after, but most of those relationships are a year or two old.



this is my situation, and our relationship has yet to prove the test of time. i feel though there is kind of an upper hand with us beginning as Nilla, because we evolved together, and i wasnt jumping into a mans arms who knew what he was doing, while i was in the dark by myself.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 4:48:12 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well being a slave is a huge step.  Might i suggest starting as a submissive and seeing how that goes.  Now i may be totally off base but i think that is a starting place.  As a slave if things do not go well it is harder to walk away.  A submissive can say i am sorry this is not working for me and leave, a slave cannot really say that.  I wish you much luck in your search.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 4:55:54 PM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Please don't be in a hurry. Take your time. Enjoy being a sub. Some day, when you are ready, you will know it. Some aren't ever ready to be a slave. Be true to yourself and follow how you feel.
 
Good luck,
sub tara

(in reply to totallycaptive39)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 5:12:14 PM   
totallycaptive39


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/23/2006
Status: offline 		thank you all for your replies....i am willing to meet and see where this goes.......like someone mentioned  i will know when i meet Him if i am willing to completely surrender.

(in reply to sweetbbwsub31)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 5:13:36 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

If you haven't lived with a dominant in some sort of D/s relationship, trying to start with something extreme is doomed to failure. Yes there are 17 people here who pulled it off and are living happily ever after, but most of those relationships are a year or two old.



this is my situation, and our relationship has yet to prove the test of time. i feel though there is kind of an upper hand with us beginning as Nilla, because we evolved together, and i wasnt jumping into a mans arms who knew what he was doing, while i was in the dark by myself.


Great post Mix
but the man's arms you did jump it to should consider himself LUCKY!

winks and lashes, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 5:54:35 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I would suggest to you that a year is not enough time to make that decision.  In my first year, I met two dominant men.  One wanted a slave and told me I would make a great slave.  The other wanted a submissive and told me that he didn't think I would be a good slave.  What I learned from that is there are dominants who will try to make you into what they want; but you have to know what you want and are capable of providing.  I would encourage you to take more time to learn about your submissive self. 

< Message edited by catize -- 5/9/2006 5:55:31 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to totallycaptive39)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 6:52:52 PM   
unquenchable


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A)  When you aren't asking that question anymore



I also agree with this. 

You will know when you are ready to make that commitment..don't hurry your journey just try to enjoy it.

un-------

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 6:54:49 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: totallycaptive39

thank you all for your replies....i am willing to meet and see where this goes.......like someone mentioned  i will know when i meet Him if i am willing to completely surrender.


You haven't even met this man?  Girlfriend ... "Snap out of it." 

You are thinking in fantasy-land and your actions/decisions will have real-life circumstances.

You won't know after meeting him once ... That's a romantic and dangerous notion.



_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to totallycaptive39)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:02:28 PM   
slavegirl18666


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Burlington, On
Status: offline 		It took me 2 years to make the step to real life slavery... And, now i have been a slave for 9 monthes and wouldn't change it for the world, but i mean, this is a "no turning back" kinda choice.  Make sure it is what you want before you make that step, it just wouldn't be smart to put yourself into that if you didn't know what it was about.  I'm not talking about book fantasy life either, i mean real life, because trust me, there is a MAJOR difference. 

Good luck in any choices you make.


_____________________________

"E. Edward Grey: Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Lee: Why not?"- 'Secretary'

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:22:41 PM   
ShivaTS


Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline 		As a slave in training I had the desire to be owned before meeting my Master.  I worry for you if you are being told you must submit to being a slave.  Take it slow and at YOUR pace.  Being submissive is good enough for some and they have no desire to become a slave.  Infact they would be very unhappy being a slave.  I hope you make the right choice for yourself and sanity,

(in reply to totallycaptive39)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:33:11 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		thank you

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:37:05 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirl18666

this is a "no turning back" kinda choice.
[/color]


not in every situation. actually, i find few people around here who actually make the "lifetime" commitment - for real.

i know that personally, O/our contract states: "This I, _______________________, do entreat, with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem and devotion in which it is given. Should either of us find that our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any other reason wish to cancel, either may do so by verbal notification to the other, in keeping with the consensual nature of this agreement. We both understand that cancellation means a cessation of the control stated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of our relationship as friends and lovers. Upon cancellation, each of us agrees to offer to the other his or her reasons and to assess our new needs and situation openly and lovingly. This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both our lives."

both being beginners, this was so important. we couldnt set ourselves up for destruction b/c we had a loving relationship and a sour M/s would be no reason to let that go.

(in reply to slavegirl18666)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:39:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin
You won't know after meeting him once ... That's a romantic and dangerous notion.

Sigh I doubt this is one that we will win.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:42:55 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		There is something very creepy about LA's new avatar.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:43:02 PM   
slavegirl18666


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Burlington, On
Status: offline 		Mixie, you are very right, and i guess i should have been more understanding of everyones situation being different.  In my situation, it's a "no turning back" situation, but everyone is different.  

_____________________________

"E. Edward Grey: Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Lee: Why not?"- 'Secretary'

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: taking the next step - 5/9/2006 7:45:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
There is something very creepy about LA's new avatar.

ROFL.  I continue to protest that my online discussion style is completely the same as my actual personality and thus the bunny is completely accurate.

Of course my local partner (who calls me bunny) said it's just because I haven't found a shark avatar yet.

But then there's always angryalien.com who did Jaws with bunny ears...

I'm still debating on keeping the peep or not, but it's nice that it gets noticed.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 20
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