subbykat
Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aromanholiday
quote:
ORIGINAL: subbykat
Aromanholiday...You just get me, don't you. :)
Best advice yet.
Yes. You are right, I did choose this relationship. Nobody coerced me into it. Maybe the "control freak" in me was dying to be tamed by the right Master. Now that I am more tame, when I look back at the way I once was, partying all the time, going out with different people every night, I know that I wasn't really happy, because I was really out there, looking for Him...
And when I finally did find the Master who knew my heart and spoke to my soul, I knew that was where I wanted to be.
So here I am 5 years later. I'm more focused, balanced (despite the last thread), happy and complete than I ever was in my entire life. But, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who occasionally reminisces about the way they used to be in their own minds.
I know some people wrote about how they would like just tell their Master to go get his own coffee sometimes...this has never been a problem for me. Serving him, whether it's cooking, cleaning, making coffee or performing sexual favors, is never even a question in my mind. I do it, because I love him and it brings me great happiness to see him pleased. Another reason why being enslaved is a fulfilling life for me. Thanks for reminding me Aromanholiday...
Yeah, I think I get you. :) I "get" a lot of people from what they say in messages. Recognizing a person's "pattern" by their words probably has something to do with having been communicating over a computer since the mid-80s. In the first 5 or 10 years, you see all types...and after that, they start to repeat! :) More often than not, peoples' true personalities and motives shine right through the words, even if the words tell a quite different story, lol! But your words and your motives matched. I liked that and so wanted to offer some encouragement. I hope someone will offer some encouragement to me when I need it.
I was reading the other responses to this thread. Apparently a lot of submissives or slaves do miss some aspects of freedom. I do too, but like you seem to experience it, it is a fleeting loss, and soon passes. For me, it comes in the form of nostalgia, sorrow for people and places I no longer linger around or see but remember so very fondly. And then I remember why it was I wandered off in another direction so far from these people--and suddenly everything feels much brighter.
Thank you for writing this poetic and very moving post. The whole thing was excellent but the last paragraph, in particular was wonderful to read. :)
You said something very good earlier in it, as well, about the control freak inside. I agree strongly that a lot of us submissive types have a "control freak" inside that is just dying to be tamed by the right person. And oh yes, the parties, the socializing, the online chats, all that stuff that I sometimes think so fondly about, for me, too, has been just an attempt to find "Him."
"And when I finally did find the Master who knew my heart and spoke to my soul, I knew that was where I wanted to be."
What a beautiful and accurate way of putting it. I think that the right master feels like somebody who is so compatible with you that you cannot believe such person could possibly exist--except he does exist. He is the person of your dreams and fantasies, come to life. A master isn't always comfortable to be around, of course, and the relationship isn't nearly as smooth and as easy as it would be with a far less demanding partner, but when someone is speaking to your soul, all those things become rather trivial. As you put it, you have found your place: you know that you are where you want or even need to be.
Funny, my Master was telling me the other day, "Listen to what people say, but watch what they do." It just goes to show how people sometimes say one thing, but their intention and actions demonstrate something else. We may not consciously understand why we feel uneasy around those types, but that generally sums it up.
I feel truly blessed to have a Master whose words and actions are totally congruent and aligned with what it is that he wants. That's when you know you can trust that person with your life and they would always have your best interest at heart. I am lucky to have found someone like that.
And if you were to look at us, you would think, "odd couple". There is a huge age gap between us and we live about 3000 miles away from each other. Yet, there is some kind of karmic bond there that keeps us bound together like glue. I cannot explain it to those people I used to call my friends, who now snicker behind my back, because I would rather spend my evenings reading, talking to my Master, studying and meditating, than hanging out at bars and tooling guys for drinks.
That was the loneliest I had ever been...
But then again, like you said, there are those fleeting instances where you feel nostalgic for the places and people you once knew...But who no longer know you, nor care to...Which would explain why they are no longer in your life.
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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 
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