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RE: Full disclosure - 4/22/2011 7:54:12 PM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
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I guess for me it is a little easier being on the female side. Sooner or later men always get around to talking about sex. That is when I let them know about my preferences.

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RE: Full disclosure - 4/22/2011 7:54:13 PM

uncertainlyizzy

Posts: 42
Joined: 4/11/2011
Status: offline

I fully disclose before we even make it to the first date. I've always met people through the internet and I info dump online or in the first coffee meet-up. There are things about me other than just the kink factor that will run a potential partner off and I'm too lazy to bother investing time and interest into someone who will run for the hills at the mention of them. If you can't even handle me talking about things (my kid, my custody issues, my health, my financial hardships, the fact that I'm not legally divorced yet) then there's no way you're going to be able to handle the reality of being in a relationship with someone dealing with those issues. I'm not embarrassed about any of them. For me, they're just facts and I'm more than willing to talk about them. So far most people have been quite appreciative of the honesty upfront. It's easier for everyone if you don't keep secrets and life's too short to worry about what you're supposed to be hiding from who.

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RE: Full disclosure - 4/23/2011 5:52:39 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: weird123m
For me "personality" is what intially hooks me in. I prefer a woman I can talk to over a simple hot body. Ideally I'm going to be doing much more talking to her than her laying around naked in the early stages.

Okaaaaaay......., errrrrrm......; yeah, that would work for me if I was after a vanilla date or relationship.

All women have a personality (somewhere), even if my own is the type to instinctively rub them the wrong way. What you're really looking for is a meeting of both personalities. If so, that gets the conversation happening - but there's still that question (with D/s in mind) as to which direction?

I have this theory that all creatures recognise their own kind - and that's what I look for. Gays have little trouble spotting the cues and clues other gays give off, seemingly without even trying. Because they're looking for such signs. I know vanilla women with great complementing personalities to my own - who *don't* give off the signs that'd make me wanna move to another level with them.

I gave you two pieces of important information in my first post. That it is possible to get attached to vanilla women who'll leave you frustrated with your D/s needs. And that the naturally submissive types do give cues and clues that would attract the attentions of a Dom/me who's *looking for such signs*. Alround personality isn't such a sign.

Sadly, the naturally shy vanilla types give off the same signs as fem/subs - it ain't a perfect system.... But if you re-read littlewonder's post in conjunction with what I'm telling you, you'll get the idea. IE, she (a submissive) was actively looking for the cues and clues Doms naturally give off without trying.

Focus.

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RE: Full disclosure - 4/23/2011 6:49:12 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: weird123m

While I do believe this question was brought up sometime ago, I haven't been able to find it.

This might also be my age showing, but when do you bring up or "reveal" that you are into the lifestyle with a potential partner? While CM and other sites have helped me might truly like minded individuals there have been times when I'm set up through friends or meet an intrguing woman. I try to hold back discussing my interests in dominance and control until the conversation manuevers toward sex. I am not a rush to the bedroom and demonstrate kind of guy, never have been interested in one night stands either. But I digress. Do any of you have any thoughts on how to bring it up?

When I start slapping her during sex.
Laughs
That is, if she didn't figure it out already from the handcuffs hanging on the bedpost.

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RE: Full disclosure - 4/23/2011 1:24:48 PM

Selectivelight

Posts: 191
Joined: 9/30/2010
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I'm open about it. I don't worry about whether or not it's going to click. It's pretty central to my personality, so if they don't want to be a part of it, or want to just be friends, it's better to have it out of the way straight away.

"So tell me a little about yourself."

"Sure, music is my passion. I play a few instruments, sing, and absolutely love to see live shows. I'm into BDSM, video games, and politics."

Most of the time, if you don't make a big deal of it, neither will they. If they ask, answer. If they show some curiosity, encourage it. If they seem put off by it, just remind them that they did ask.

But that's just me, and I might just be too comfortable in my own skin.

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Post #: 25