darq
Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox
I will never understand ppl… I have been divorced for 12 years and my Ex husband has always been hot and cold when it has come to us being civil to each other … WE are the best of friends when he does not have a girlfriend, but whenever he is dating, I suddenly become the EVIL ex wife, or he tends to treat me like I am the dog doo on his shoe…
He once referred to me as the one arm illiterate hick…
I do not want pity, I just wish to understand…
My ex has a similar way of dealing with me.
He and I were never married but we were engaged ... The first time he gave me the ring was in June. I returned it to him in November when he threw a coffee table at me. I told him I didn't want it back until he'd gotten his anger under control ... I told him he had until February to find an anger management group and get himself together. He asked me again on Christmas day that year ... I told him I was sorry, but no ... He still hadn't gotten his anger under control and I wasn't going to bind myself for life to a man I knew I couldn't trust not to harm me.
Finally I gave up the ghost the following August.
For 6 months I didn't hear from him ... He had mailed his hair to my mother. (He shaved his head as a sign of mourning.) He also mailed her the ring and the collar. Thank God Mom already knew about that sort of thing ...
Now, 3 years after the fact, we're good friends. He saved my life. He keeps me from being harmful to myself. He still knows me better than anyone else and having his friendship is very important to me. He's gone from being my Master/lover to being like a big brother. I plan to have my children know him as Uncle ...
When he's single though, he refers to himself as my Daddy. He once sent me a gift and the card said, "Little One, part of me will always be your Daddy. I love you." I didn't know how to respond ... He still has anger problems which makes me sad for him because I dont believe he'll have a successful relationship until he gets that part of himself under control.
When he has a submissive, he's still civil to me but he gets impatient with me much more easily. I'll call him for advice and he gets exasperated with me. I always make sure to respect his time with his girl ... He's a truck driver so I don't call when I know he's got home time because I figure he's with her. Sometimes he'll call after he gets back out on the road and he's irritated at me for not checking in with him. When I point out that I don't want to be rude and intrude on his time with his submissive, he brushes it off like thats hardly a reason at all and I should know to call him.
It doesn't upset me that he acts like this ... Its confusing sometimes but I think he does it because he doesn't want to let go. He hates to lose ... Its ok if he's got another girl in his life ... He can lavish her with affection. But he still wants me around, in the shadow, just in case ..
Men do and say weird things. I know it must hurt when your ex says such horrible things about you but try to see it as his shortcoming, not yours. You can't change him ... I couldn't change my ex ... But you can tend to your own heart and do all in your power not to let his stupidity hurt you.
_____________________________
So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
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Understanding - 
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