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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 9:16:36 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AneNoz

quote:

I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave.
I am somewhat confused by the concept of a former slave. Slavery is a permanent status, is it not? A slave is your responsibility until they die, no?

Be at peace
Aneka



Ummm. No.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 10:09:34 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
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Status: offline 		If a submissive or slave of mine, submitted financially, I would feel some responsibility to him, after the breakup. I would do my best, to help him find a job/place he could live in, and afford.
I won't respond for healthcare, and pension, because I've not been in a relationship that lasted >5years. M

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 10:28:15 PM   
AneNoz


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quote:

Nope.

quote:

Ummm. No.
It appears that we define slavery differently. This is not unexpected, as words  mean different things to each of us.

Edit: I would enjoy the opportunity to learn why you see it differently.

Be at peace
Aneka

< Message edited by AneNoz -- 4/26/2011 10:29:54 PM >

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 4:06:48 AM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AneNoz

quote:

Nope.

quote:

Ummm. No.
It appears that we define slavery differently. This is not unexpected, as words  mean different things to each of us.

Edit: I would enjoy the opportunity to learn why you see it differently.

Be at peace
Aneka


I think the concept that slavery is permanent and that they're your responsibility until they die is ridiculous and belongs in Castle Realm fantasy land. Slavery is not permanent. It is as fantasy as two people want to make when it works well and then when there are problems within the relationship it suddenly becomes not quite as binding.
Even alimony has a time limit...


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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 4:53:20 AM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave.  Almost all of my former subs or slaves know that I will help them if they need it and ask.

How do you feel about your former subs/slaves or Dom/Masters

Russell



When you part company, there is no responsibility.

But, before she goes, there's a responsibility to bring closure to the relationship so that she can move on. It wouldn't be fair for her to leave feeling all sorts of guilt and anxiety, while focusing on the past; the responsibility it to do everything you can to leave her in a positive frame of mind and looking forward to her future.



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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 4:58:16 AM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I think the concept that slavery is permanent and that they're your responsibility until they die is ridiculous



Doesn't take a magician to conjure up a situation where two people love one another, have a solid relationship and stay together.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 5:46:26 AM   
Palliata


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I think the concept that slavery is permanent and that they're your responsibility until they die is ridiculous and belongs in Castle Realm fantasy land.



Just because you don't understand something or it is outside the realm of your experience does not make it an impossibility.


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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 9:53:49 AM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

How do you feel about your former subs/slaves or Dom/Masters


Greetings,

i wish them much success and joy in their pursuits. However, my attempt to maintain contact with one party only brought on challenges as the discussions continually wound their way back to us. They weren't argumentative in nature, but merely reflected an issue that remained unresolved and cannot be reconciled to provide the union we wanted. Nonetheless i am very fond of him and always will be. We're not permanently estranged and he has stepped in to assist me when i required it. But our time has come and gone and we no longer interact like we used to.

my former owner and i used to frequent the same circles and i was rather chummy with his slave at the time. His desire for my return coupled with the behaviors that led to our dissolution make contact an unhealthy prospect. The postulations of friendship would have an underlying motive for reconciliation and that will never occur. However, the past is merely that and i sincerely wish him well. i have no reason to hold on to yesterday. Nor do i think either are obligated to me in any fashion.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 10:30:12 AM   
SirRussellP


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Status: offline 		I am all ways amazed at how people will either read in things they want in a post or just interrupt it in a very different manner then was stated. 

I said "some responsibility for a former slave" that isn't to imply that I have any control over her or that she wants me to feel that way. 

Responsibility is I guess a personal thing that some feel and others either don't or feel it in different areas.  I have a responsibility to show up for work even when I have vacation time or sick time to use up unless I can set up a way that my absence doesn't effect the employer or co workers.

Russell

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 10:30:36 AM   
CalifChick


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I think the concept that slavery is permanent and that they're your responsibility until they die is ridiculous and belongs in Castle Realm fantasy land.


Just because you don't understand something or it is outside the realm of your experience does not make it an impossibility.


Responsibility is a moral, ethical, or legal obligation for another person. In your mind, you may feel you have an obligation, but as a former-stalkee, I say bollocks. Being willing to help another person is not a responsibility or obligation to help another person.





quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Doesn't take a magician to conjure up a situation where two people love one another, have a solid relationship and stay together.


Nobody is talking about relationships that stay together; we're talking about relationships that don't. Once you enslave someone, they're yours forever, whether the other person thinks so or not? Yeah, not so much.

Cali




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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 10:32:57 AM   
domiguy


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Status: offline 		I have the responsibility to give them some dick every now and again in the case of a Domidrought. Which, thank God, is an extremely rare occurrence..

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 12:11:43 PM   
SailingBum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: AneNoz

quote:

I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave.
I am somewhat confused by the concept of a former slave. Slavery is a permanent status, is it not? A slave is your responsibility until they die, no?

Be at peace
Aneka



Ummm. No.


See cuz then you sell em.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 4/27/2011 12:21:47 PM >

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 12:13:42 PM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

There is no one, not even my ex-husband, that I feel so hateful towards I do not care what happens to them. (okay, so there have been moments I would like to be the cause of harm to the ex-husband but that's due to children related issues...)

No one from my past, aside from the previously mentioned, is a terrible human being. Obviously I saw something wonderful in each of them, even the previously mentioned ex. If they are showing they are doing positive things for themselves, of course I would do anything possible to assist. Most of them I still have love for. My love doesn't just die because the relationship wasn't working. Neither does my sense of responsibility.
Nice to hear this. I was beginning to wonder if I was the oddball for not stopping loving someone and remaining fond of them even though things did not work out.

quote:

Basically someone has to have done a total personality 180 and become a loser douche bag, like my ex-husband with his drugs and drinking, for me to want to have nothing at all to do with you.

I would never toss a good human being, especially one that served me well, out on the street with nothing, emotionally or physically.
Nor would I. Thank you, LaT...having been on the receiving end of a someone decreasing the size of My room in their heart more and more, I appreciate that someone else finds it difficult to do so on their end.

I like what you said also, agirl.

I did not used to think of being friends with ex-es. But having an ex-wife with whom I shared children showed Me how far I can go....even with someone who tried to destroy Me....when it came to presenting a united front for our daughters and in handling things that inevitably came up.


< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 4/27/2011 12:24:03 PM >

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 3:34:12 PM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I think the concept that slavery is permanent and that they're your responsibility until they die is ridiculous and belongs in Castle Realm fantasy land.


Just because you don't understand something or it is outside the realm of your experience does not make it an impossibility.


Responsibility is a moral, ethical, or legal obligation for another person. In your mind, you may feel you have an obligation, but as a former-stalkee, I say bollocks. Being willing to help another person is not a responsibility or obligation to help another person.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Doesn't take a magician to conjure up a situation where two people love one another, have a solid relationship and stay together.


Nobody is talking about relationships that stay together



Permanent?

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 3:43:09 PM   
LadyRian


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Status: offline 		I don't feel I have any responsibility to a former slave. The relationship is ended.  Everyone has their own life lessons to learn.  I feel that it would be unjust of me to not allow him to learn his, due to any involvement on my part. 

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 4:00:47 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Once the relationship ends, so did our acquaintanceship. Most if nor all relationships have ended poorly, and so I am not inclined at all to be friends or help them out or chat casually or anything other than breaking acquaintanceship once it's over.


basically? they're on their own.


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave.  Almost all of my former subs or slaves know that I will help them if they need it and ask.

How do you feel about your former subs/slaves or Dom/Masters

Russell




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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 9:20:35 PM   
MissImmortalPain


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Status: offline 		Perhaps I have never had a relationship "end" in the same way others here have. For me a relationship never really ends. As I demand that we know each other well and are friends (of a sort) to begin with. If someone comes to me as a "slave" giving up personal freedom, financial rights, and property I would later (if we decided to part) feel that yes, I would have responsibilities toward them. I have in the past taken up the role of mother/keeper/friend for them, and would not have problems doing it again. If you are going to be so big and brave as to say someone belongs to you then you should know it makes you responsible for them.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 9:49:38 PM   
Muttling


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Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

I am all ways amazed at how people will either read in things they want in a post or just interrupt it in a very different manner then was stated. 

I said "some responsibility for a former slave" that isn't to imply that I have any control over her or that she wants me to feel that way. 

Responsibility is I guess a personal thing that some feel and others either don't or feel it in different areas.  I have a responsibility to show up for work even when I have vacation time or sick time to use up unless I can set up a way that my absence doesn't effect the employer or co workers.

Russell




I agree with your original post a great deal, but I don't see it as a Master-slave responsibility.   Instead, I see it as a responsibility of friendship.   It sounds like you remain friends with and continue to care for the well being of your former slaves which is a very good thing in my opinion.

I remain friends with my ex wife (she's totally vanilla) and do help her out from time to time (especially with fix ups around her house.)  She does the same for me as she is a medical professional and has never steered me wrong with medical advice.   It doesn't have anything to do with kink, but we have the same relationship that I hear you describing.

< Message edited by Muttling -- 4/27/2011 9:50:15 PM >

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/27/2011 10:58:07 PM   
aromanholiday


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

To me a true master/slave relationship is permanent, and I mean that in the most absolute sense of the word. I may part ways from them to an extent and give them back their freedom, but we'll always be connected irreversibly. This can make life a bit difficult at times, but such is the burden of power.

It is for that reason I am extremely, extremely slow to consider full slavery for anyone. I have only one 'ex' slave, and neither of us intends or expects to fully extricate ourselves from one another despite the fact that we're no longer compatible or able to be together. I would bring her back into my life and my home without hesitation if she needed me to, and consider myself every bit as obligated to her today as I was at the height of her submission.


I have a similar response. I'm loyal for life, if the person actually becomes my master. Should they not want me for life, I would still feel owned by them, as long as they were still alive. This isn't something I intentionally set out to do. Atlhough I am naturally inclined to feel this way; it's really the relationship and the person I'm involved with who does this to me.

I certainly understand your being loathe to consider full slavery for anyone. These are deadly serious commitments.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/28/2011 4:28:44 AM   
Palliata


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Responsibility is a moral, ethical, or legal obligation for another person. In your mind, you may feel you have an obligation, but as a former-stalkee, I say bollocks. Being willing to help another person is not a responsibility or obligation to help another person.




When I take on a slave I make it clear that I am taking on a permanent responsibility to them, and correspondingly they are taking on a permanent responsibility to me. That isn't something that happens in my head that I tell them about when things go south, that is a part of the compact which passes between us with full disclosure at the time that bond is formed or formalized. If that isn't acceptable, they are free to go their separate way or remain friends and playmates or build a sand castle out of confectioners sugar or whatever else seems appropriate. They choose to consent or not consent.

By comparison, a stalking situation (in the case of actual stalking as opposed to the bullshit pseudo-stalking that seems to come out of the woodwork) includes no compact being formed, no mutual agreement whatsoever. That is simply one person inflicting their presence on another without ever giving them a choice. The connection is nonexistent.


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