Something I probably shouldn't share

Something I probably shouldn't share (Full Version)

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NiceGuyNihilist -> Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 10:54:37 AM)
Once I worked with a legal Peruvian immigrant who hated, above anything else, to be mistaken for an illegal Mexican one. His English was poor, and he frequently produced malapropisms that put me in stitches. On his last day of work, in a spirit of jocular friendship, I wrote something unseemly in his farewell card. Minutes after he'd been presented with it, he came storming up to me, shaking the card angrily, and said, "How can you do this? This is my WELFARE CARD!"

Hillwilliam -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 12:41:03 PM)
I worked with a Nicaraguan guy who was one of the best crystallographer/inorganic geochemists I have ever known but he had some doozies. My favorite one was on the eve of a 2 day federal inspection. Someone asked if he was nervous about the inspection. His reply "Hey, don't worry about it, I'm as calm as lettuce" Another one he came up with was "I'm running around like a chicken with his legs cut off"

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 12:55:13 PM)
Okay, I have to ask: How calm IS lettuce?

Hillwilliam -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 1:53:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Okay, I have to ask: How calm IS lettuce? I THINK he was trying to say "cool as a cucumber"

mnottertail -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 1:55:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Okay, I have to ask: How calm IS lettuce? You ever seen one shooting up the area on the nightly news, or seen one on Cops, all drunk and beating his cabbage bitch? Yeah, didn't think so.....

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 1:58:31 PM)
You guys are funny.

Muttling -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 6:33:39 PM)
I worked with an Indian who had been a construction manager in the U.S. for over 10 years. The funniest thing you will ever hear is someone cuss with an Indian accent. We used to get him worked up just to hear him say "fucking asshole."

Hillwilliam -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 6:36:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling I worked with an Indian who had been a construction manager in the U.S. for over 10 years. The funniest thing you will ever hear is someone cuss with an Indian accent. We used to get him worked up just to hear him say "fucking asshole." Even funnier is to hear a Frenchman say "you sheeeting bastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards"

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/27/2011 10:04:18 PM)
I had a persistent caller, not born in the US, asking me to go out, or "get with him." Someone who is a friend to me, and the family, and with whom I play around (words only). So one day, after 2 calls from him, I tell him "you're a persistent Muthah phucker." He got so horribly offended. Try explaining to a friend, you don't really mean to offend, that Mo Fo, doesn't really mean he.... I don't think I'll ever use that phrase again. M

Muttling -> RE: Something I probably shouldn't share (4/28/2011 3:55:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW Try explaining to a friend, you don't really mean to offend, that Mo Fo, doesn't really mean he.... I don't think I'll ever use that phrase again. M I always took pride in being called a mo fo. Since I have a kid, it would seem obvious to me that I fucked a mother at some point along the way.

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