RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men?

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Rochsub2009 -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/5/2011 11:12:03 AM)
Having contempt for anyone simply because they belong to a certain group seems wrong to me (unless that groups is child molesters, in which case I do have a low opinion of them). I don't have contempt for male Doms. I'm friends with everyone in my local BDSM organization. Dom, sub, male, female, it doesn't matter. I get along with everybody. I do have a somewhat lower opinion of people who create profiles on-line to proclaim their dominance, but who don't approach that status in real life. If you lack social skills and are afraid to approach women, you're probably not a Dom. If you're over 25 and you still sleep in the same bedroom (at your parents' house) that you grew up in, you're probably not a Dom. If your primary sex partner for most of your life has been your right hand, you're probably not a Dom. Creating a profile that says "Dom" doesn't make it so. Far too many of the "Doms" that I meet really aren't. But even then, I don't have contempt for them. I just think their behavior is silly.

DesFIP -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/5/2011 12:15:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer ...prejudices are worthless...That'd be cretinous of me, and I try to arrange not to be a cretin if at all possible. quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Any hatred, of any kind, of Katie Price is always completely rational. [8D][8D][8D] But this assumes he pre-judged her before learning about her. If however, he did first learn a great deal about her, and that knowledge led him to hatred, then it isn't a prejudice. I have to say though, even after a quick google, I have no idea who she is or why she would be liked or hated. Just another model, isn't she?

subrob1967 -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/5/2011 1:30:01 PM)
I find dominant males to be comparable to liberal democrat voters...Both are clueless as to the way things really are[;)] I don't hold them in contempt, it's more like pity.

NiceGuyNihilist -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 12:31:09 AM)
Contempt isn't the right word, but sometimes I do experience a--reactionary distaste. Virtually all of the female authority in my childhood and teens was equitable and caring, while much of the male authority was callous, petty, presumptuous, arbitrary, intimidating, smug, and belligerent. If my early experiences of the respective behavior of men and women in positions of authority were taken to be representative of the species as a whole--and I know they are not--there could be no justification for the continued existence of male dogcatchers, let alone male Presidents. Consequently, I tend to warm instantly to dominant women, whether they're cops or doctors or dungeon mistresses. I believe they often sense my instinctive goodwill, which causes them to behave favorably to me, which in turn reinforces my charitable prejudice. With dominant men, I have to exercise discipline so as not to fuel the downward-spiral version of upward-spiral process I just described. When interacting with dominant men, I must overcome myself; when interacting with Dommes, I can simply be myself.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 8:06:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer ...prejudices are worthless...That'd be cretinous of me, and I try to arrange not to be a cretin if at all possible. quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Any hatred, of any kind, of Katie Price is always completely rational. [8D][8D][8D] But this assumes he pre-judged her before learning about her. If however, he did first learn a great deal about her, and that knowledge led him to hatred, then it isn't a prejudice. Nu-uh, that's a logic failure. He's pre-judged anyone who hates her to be correct; whether or not he's pre-judged Price herself is irrelevant. It's valid for him to say he hates her, but not for him to say that any hatred of any kind towards her is always rational, unless he knows every single reason why anyone ever would hate her. Aside from that, it was a joke, hence the row of smileys. Lighten up.

PeonForHer -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 8:51:34 AM)
Katie Price is just some thick woman with massive knockers who's never out of the newspapers here, Des. She 'shot to fame' for revealing said knockers to the world in our most famous lowbrow newspaper. Truth to tell, I don't hate her. The only opinion I have of her is that she has huge melons and is wildly stupid. What I do hate is the coverage of her in the media. It's symptomatic of the worst of trash culture: we're all exhorted to have thoughts and feelings about something (or someone) that's completely empty and pointless.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 10:09:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Katie Price is just some thick woman with massive knockers who's never out of the newspapers here, Des. She 'shot to fame' for revealing said knockers to the world in our most famous lowbrow newspaper. Truth to tell, I don't hate her. The only opinion I have of her is that she has huge melons and is wildly stupid. What I do hate is the coverage of her in the media. It's symptomatic of the worst of trash culture: we're all exhorted to have thoughts and feelings about something (or someone) that's completely empty and pointless. I didn't quite follow Jordan/Katie Price (though I do remember a time when she was my age, now she's mysteriously much younger than I am) the whole fake tits, getting smashed in public and putting it about a bit, baring fake tits, getting smashed while being pregnant (ooops one child is disabled, can't have anything to do with her getting drunk and drugged up while being pregnant), marrying people for publicity, having reality shows, getting more breast implants, getting all sorts of odd surgery... Seriously, the only opinion I have of her is that she is a tramp, her talents are of silicone and she's fucked up in the head as she thinks little girls should have fake lashes, fake nails and be dressed up like overly sexualized tarts (in short her mini-mes). I think Roger Daltrey summed up Katie Price: "Some people are born with talent, I think the 2 talents your surgeon supplied you with have taken you quite far, but that's about as far as it will go..."

PeonForHer -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 10:45:53 AM)
FR Seriously, I think that this 'let's slam dom males' on this forum, and the equivalent 'let's slam submales' on the Masters forum, have both gone too far. People are running out of sense of humour on both of them. Each side beats up the other, while both sides remain treated with contempt by vanillas. It all seems a bit pisspoor to me.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 12:03:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Each side beats up the other, while both sides remain treated with contempt by vanillas. Ahem. A small but vocal minority of each side beats up the other, while the rest of us get on with our lives. How many views has each topic got? And how many people have actually expressed contempt? Don't mistake the bluster of Awareness & co for an actual legitimate 'side', hon.

PeonForHer -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 12:06:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Ahem. A small but vocal minority of each side beats up the other, while the rest of us get on with our lives. How many views has each topic got? And how many people have actually expressed contempt? Don't mistake the bluster of Awareness & co for an actual legitimate 'side', hon. Fair point. Fackem. [;)]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 12:07:51 PM)
Innit. [8D]

PeonForHer -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/6/2011 1:54:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Innit. [8D] No.

slaveeduardo -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 6:40:19 AM)
There are decent dominant men out there, and not-so-decent ones. Just like with every other category of humankind.

txurinal -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 10:30:57 AM)
i agree with PeonForHer. i have always found the BDSM community one of the most accepting whether one is Dom or sub. We get enough disdain from the world without looking down upon each other. Yes there are great Doms and there are poor ones, but in a world where each of us is seeking either a Dominant or a submissive we need to look beyond our personal predjudices. As a gay submissive, my preference is a gay Dominant. Yet in our world, i am respectful of all Doms gay,straight, male and female. i am also repectful of my fellow subs. The males kneeling before their Mistresses, the females kneeling before their Masters. In BDSM, we all have our place and i think as human beings (and that includes the slaves) we need to support each other, be there for one another and stop judging othes just because they do not like what we like or are not just like us. If we were all alike, there would be no community of "US"

leadership527 -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 10:47:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Fair point. Fackem. [;)] Well, to be fair, I DO have contempt for your abs... but that's mostly because I'm jealous and they make me insecure which is, looking at your abs, entirely understandable in my opinion.

PeonForHer -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 11:35:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Fair point. Fackem. [;)] Well, to be fair, I DO have contempt for your abs... but that's mostly because I'm jealous and they make me insecure which is, looking at your abs, entirely understandable in my opinion. You can have my abs if you want them. I hate them. I can't get them to grow a beard nor even a moustache. They refuse even to read any books about Gor. Effete bastards. [:'(]

paulmcuk -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 12:58:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: txurinal In BDSM, we all have our place and i think as human beings (and that includes the slaves) we need to support each other, be there for one another and stop judging othes just because they do not like what we like or are not just like us. If we were all alike, there would be no community of "US" Not that I disagree, but to play devil's advocate... Couldn't it be argued that the BDSM community is an artificial construct which actually contains diametrically opposed viewpoints rather than truly shared interests? As a gay sub it's natural for you to respect Doms but to a sub who TRULY believes in Female superiority, male dominants are completely contrary to his world view. They're just wrong. It's a little like saying cats and dogs should respect one another because they're all part of the Pet Community. But it's not in their nature to do that and it might be said that it's not in the nature of a man who is geniunely sub to women to respect a male dom. Of course, we're not dogs and cats and we can rise above our nature but if it wasn't for switches and people who just like rubber providing the glue to join things together, would there be a Femdom community and a Maledom community? Or is there another need for an all-encompassing community? Perhaps based on the need to present a united front in the face of the vanilla world. Or simply because we'd still all use the same shops and it would be silly to ignore one another.

PeonForHer -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 1:33:43 PM)
It's a fair point, Paul, but I think there are things that put all BDSMers outside of the majority and into a minority with a common interest. The most important of these, I think, is power exchange. Vanilla society doesn't support this; its structures aren't designed for it. You're not supposed to want to give up your power to someone else - you're supposed not only to want to keep it but always want more of it. Our political and economic systems are built on that assumption. And then there's the matter of the love of giving, or receiving, pain . . . .

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/7/2011 5:40:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: paulmcuk if it wasn't for switches and people who just like rubber providing the glue to join things together, would there be a Femdom community and a Maledom community? Nah. Too many bisexuals. Plus, you'd miss all the rich, complex D/D and s/s interactions you get in a mixed environment. Some of my favourite playpartners are male dominants - we complement each other when we work together.

leadership527 -> RE: Sub guys: Do you have contempt for dominant men? (5/8/2011 7:58:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer It's a fair point, Paul, but I think there are things that put all BDSMers outside of the majority and into a minority with a common interest.... Assuming, of course, that the person in question chooses to focus on the points of commonality rather than the points of difference. In the end, that's going to be a complex question that someone answers to themself. People divvy up their world view however they do. In my case, it would appear that "my community" has little to do with someone's kink or lack thereof. Nor do I much care about their dynamic. I find community with "happy couples" that are "authentic" to whatever it is that they do. So whether someone was a male sub or a female dom wouldn't really occur to me as something to ponder. I'd be more interested in whether they are well grounded in reality and whether they are in a high-functioning relationship. Back to the more specific focus of this thread, I figure an anything supremacist is going to look down on pretty much "anything else". That's in the nature of bigotry and prejudice. Whether it's a traditional patriarchy, female supremacy, the neo-nazis or the KKK it's all the same thing. Such people reap their own karmic rewards and even as they feel their contempt for me, universal balance is maintained because I feel contempt for them. I figure the female supremacists and the goreans should go duke it out somewhere and let the rest of us know who's actually supreme.

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