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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 12:13:06 PM

Hisprettybaby

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~FR~
He almost always asks for my opinions and sometimes I actually have choices, but he always has the last word. So ultimately, what he says goes anyway.

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 12:49:47 PM

txurinal

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I think littlewonder said it best. As a slave, the choice you have is to stay or leave. When owned i had very few choices to make. Maybe what to wear to work each day but that was pretty much it. i knew what i would be doing and how i would be doing it nearly every minute of the day. It was a life copletely free of responsibility EXCEPT being the best slave one could be for its MASTERS

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 12:52:16 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: txurinal

I think littlewonder said it best. As a slave, the choice you have is to stay or leave. When owned i had very few choices to make. Maybe what to wear to work each day but that was pretty much it. i knew what i would be doing and how i would be doing it nearly every minute of the day. It was a life copletely free of responsibility EXCEPT being the best slave one could be for its MASTERS

If only that were true. I feel since I've been his slave I have more responsibilities now than I ever had before. Yup I wish that wasn't true but it is.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 1:02:42 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

For Carol the answers are the same in any context. For her this is all about pleasing me. She'd be really happy if pleasing me didn't involve so much obedience. But, sadly for her, that's not how it is so there ya go. For her it's as simple as weighing off one set of priorities versus another. But fundamentally, while she likes a strong leader, she'd probably prefer that in a more egalitarian way. Carol never particularly wanted to submit or be a slave. It's just what she needs to do to please the man she is focused on.

Then it's most likely going to get old for her if it hasn't already.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 1:07:13 PM

Icarys

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quote:

I feel since I've been his slave I have more responsibilities

Absolutely. Responsibility never leaves a person no matter their status. If you choose to shuck it, then others will hold you to it. The type of responsibility may change but that's about it.

Always choices to be made no matter how small.

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 2:13:55 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

I feel since I've been his slave I have more responsibilities

Absolutely. Responsibility never leaves a person no matter their status. If you choose to shuck it, then others will hold you to it. The type of responsibility may change but that's about it.

Always choices to be made no matter how small.

Believe me, with all that's going on in my life right now I know that more than ever lol. Looks for a cave to hide in for awhile to get away from an overwhelming number of them right now.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 3:10:08 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Then it's most likely going to get old for her if it hasn't already.

You gotta be kidding man. Seriously??? OK, we're coming up on 4 years now on the collar and 14 on the marriage and 16 on the relationship. Care to tell me when you think she'll get tired of pleasing me? I just love conventional BDSM wisdom sometimes. Yeah, I can see how you'd come to the conclusion that a genuinely submissive personality in a happy, nurturing relationship is an unstable setup. Some day I need to grab a copy of the BDSM Logic Handbook so I can understand this crap.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 3:19:44 PM

pyroaquatic

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Choice is a rather grand illusion no matter what side of the kneel. Personal philosophy aside I can exist within the realm of the Dominants rules or not exist within the Dominants rules.

Even in the most dire of circumstances if a slave wishes not to be a slave then there is always some form of escape. Fight or Flight.

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As your desire is, so is your will.
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As your deed is, so is your destiny.
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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 3:52:17 PM

Icarys

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quote:

You gotta be kidding man. Seriously??? OK, we're coming up on 4 years now on the collar and 14 on the marriage and 16 on the relationship.

I know you've been together for awhile. That's only proof that it's lasted not that it will last.

Just an opinion..Don't get your feathers ruffled.

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 3:55:41 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

Even in the most dire of circumstances if a slave wishes not to be a slave then there is always some form of escape. Fight or Flight.

Even walking away can be seen as a "no choice" issue.

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If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 3:58:31 PM

Icarys

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quote:

Even in the most dire of circumstances if a slave wishes not to be a slave then there is always some form of escape. Fight or Flight.

You're going to get those who believe differently. They'll say that it's so not an option that they could ever leave. We see it all the time though..people professing their undying and forever devotion only to split.

History is a fine teacher. I watch the social revolutions, day in and day out with more than a bit of amusement.

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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RE: Choice or no choice? - 4/30/2011 4:39:03 PM

petmonkey

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quote:

Subs, do any of you want choices? Big and small ones? Or do you want to be controlled without any choice?

Yes. :P

i've discovered i need "practice choices" for when i'm not with my Dom, or i'll become a little lost lamb rather quickly. As for your first, bedroom examples, i can only see that happening if the Dom and i were trying to figure out how my body reacted after some sort of physical trauma or illness. Barring that, sounds tedious. Tedium only cranks my engine when it's paperwork or housecleaning or . . . well, when it doesn't involve impact play.

Also, like in slave luci's relationship, my past Dom's have discovered i have a talent for instinctively choosing well for their tastes. i take pride and satisfaction in it and hope to never be with someone who would ignore this ability entirely.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/1/2011 9:07:26 AM

Asherscorp1

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I can give Him input but He makes the final decisions (that He is interested in). Master has no interest in managing my life, I run a household, keep a budget, stick to a schedule, cook, clean, pay bills, do the shopping, plan activities very well on my own and He sees no need to step into that. He knows that the things affecting Him will be done well, feeding Him, keeping the house clean, doing my assigned chores every day and such. If there is something that involves us both (new furniture, planning trips, etc) and I need to involve Him in the planning then I lay out what I had in mind and He tells me to go ahead with it or He tells me what to change. Sexually, I have no choices at all. I can give input but there is never even the vague feeling that I might get to make a decision, unless He is just messing with me to be mean. I HATE having to make decisions in a sexual setting. In fact it turns me off to the point where I would rather go clean the oven than continue on with what we were doing. Sometimes He makes me do it just for that reason, to watch me struggle with it, but most of the time He simply does exactly what He likes and I submit.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/1/2011 10:01:36 AM

skylong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He sleeps five hours a night on average and is convinced that me needing eight means there's something wrong with me. In fact last time we were at the doctor's he asked the doc about it, I almost cheered when he was told that eight is average and that if that's what I need, then I should be allowed to have it.

OMG, it would be absolute hell for me to live with a guy like that.
I need a solid 10 hours to have a good night's rest.
I can make it on 8 if I have to, but doing that consistently will put me in a sleep debt.

I have a hard enough time as it is explaining to most people who know that 8 hours is average that an average means that: YES some people need more than 8 hours, and YES an 8 hour average doesn't mean that sleeping more than 8 hours indicates that there is something wrong with me, and YES an average is not the same as a maximum, and YES sleeping what is for me a normal amount and a biological requirement doesn't mean I'm being lazy sleeping in.

Doing that with a guy who thinks 5 hours should be enough would be pure hell for me.

Ishtar

Yep... don't know why I get distracted by the sleep topic. I definitely prefer 8-10 hours of sleep ... under 8 is not fun.

< Message edited by skylong -- 5/1/2011 10:02:38 AM >

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/1/2011 10:08:18 AM

skylong

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Some of the replies just perplexed me... it could be too late and my ability to understand English diminishes as the night progress.
Quite very surprised to see all the slaves writing though. As I said in the very beginning, I would have thought slaves won't have much to say about this topic.

Thanks for all the opinions! Keep the interesting ones going!

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/1/2011 12:50:58 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skylong
As I said in the very beginning, I would have thought slaves won't have much to say about this topic.

And that perplexes me

I have a lot to say. I have a lot of choices. For example, I've chosen what to cook for dinner for us tonight. I've chosen what errands need to be run, and what I'm going to do with my time today while he's at work. A lot of us are valued and relied upon for our thinking/reasoning skills. In fact, if I could choose what my biggest struggle is in this relationship, it's been to give over to his decisions when I prefer my own.

I'm not sure, though, if your original post was limited to just sexual activity, or open to overall life decisions, as well.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/1/2011 10:27:59 PM

paulmcuk

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Neither. More...consultation. Opinions and wishes can be asked for, given and granted, but the choice resides with my Domme.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/2/2011 4:46:12 AM

Charnegui

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I would choose to have less choices :)
Since we're living apart, I make my own in everyday life, but wish sometimes to hand over all of my responsabilities.....

The only choice I do not have is wether to meet, to phone or give my msn adress to someone He doesn't know. Even the choice of Him coming to my place or vice versa is mine.

So am I a lucky girl or what?

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/3/2011 8:54:02 AM

skylong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: skylong
As I said in the very beginning, I would have thought slaves won't have much to say about this topic.

And that perplexes me

I have a lot to say. I have a lot of choices. For example, I've chosen what to cook for dinner for us tonight. I've chosen what errands need to be run, and what I'm going to do with my time today while he's at work. A lot of us are valued and relied upon for our thinking/reasoning skills. In fact, if I could choose what my biggest struggle is in this relationship, it's been to give over to his decisions when I prefer my own.

I'm not sure, though, if your original post was limited to just sexual activity, or open to overall life decisions, as well.

I am glad you replied and provided your view.
The original post was just not worded smartly. I was meant to ask about all kinds of choices on whatever level you feel you are related to.

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RE: Choice or no choice? - 5/3/2011 10:21:52 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skylong

Some of the replies just perplexed me... it could be too late and my ability to understand English diminishes as the night progress.
Quite very surprised to see all the slaves writing though. As I said in the very beginning, I would have thought slaves won't have much to say about this topic.

Thanks for all the opinions! Keep the interesting ones going!

Even though I'm owned I have plenty to say and perfectly adequate opportunity to do so, on any topic :)

Regarding choices......I'm conditioned to accept his choices in so many ways that I need time to make a decision if I'm actually given one. This is only in regards to him and I though. I'm utter rubbish at making a decision spontaneously when we're together......partly because I'm perfectly happy doing anything during the hours that we're together during the week. I really am completely dull if a choice is sprung on me and sometimes it pisses me off.

As I live alone I make trillions of choices every day and I LOVE it. I adore having the freedom to eat anchovies, tomatoes and marshmallows in bed if I want to. I cherish watching whatever I want to on tv, when I watch it, listening to MY music, playing banjo whenever I like, even if its the middle of the night.......and so on and so forth.

If we lived together I'd have a very tough time of it for some considerable period.

agirl

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