something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (Full Version)

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DerLachendeKater -> something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 11:29:19 AM)

K, I’ve been chewing on this ever since I joined this site. why is it that so many dominant’s seem to think one sub is just like every other sub? I spend hours sometimes casually browsing through the profiles for fun and often see the same thing. Dominant’s bitching about subs that feel they have certain rights, limits, etc. that the dominants should listen to.

 Seems to me that a lot of these problems could be solved if the dominants remembered that there are also pet’s, slaves, and switch’s not just sub’s.  

I personally have never thought of myself as anything other then a pet and will openly admit to not really understanding the rest of everyone’s thought processes that drive them. I personally obey because I like to see my mistress smile. it makes my day to see her face light up when she comes home to find the house, yard, and garage fully cleaned without even telling me to.

 I take care of her kids for the same reason.  among my rewards are getting to share her bed and her buying me the uke snacks I’m addicted to (peanut butter and cheese crackers). 

 So what is your guys perspective on this? is it dominants just not being specific enough in what they want or visa versa? Or is it perhaps that it’s just the flood of poser dominants and subs that flood everyone’s mailboxes? Or am I just clueless about how things work? Or is it a combination of things or something entirely different?

I believe I will cross post this to the masters section to get both male and female views.



thetammyjo -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 12:34:47 PM)

I have no idea why someone would complain in their profile.

I mean, aren't these the way we represent ourselves to each other? Shouldn't we strive to show our best face or to increase our likelihood of finding partners/friends?

Maybe those who just complain have gotten too many annoying emails or perhaps they have nothing of personal value to add because they don't know themselves well enough yet.



OnyxGoddess -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 12:39:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo



Maybe those who just complain have gotten too many annoying emails


 I have to admit i'm one of those who has a complaint or two in my journal entry for the reason above.  Some folk don't read and you end up with more annoying emails.  It's frustrating especially when you are just looking to meet nice sincere people to chat with, meet with, and learn from.  My apologies.



MsMacComb -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 12:55:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerLachendeKater
I’ve been chewing on this ever since I joined this site. why is it that so many dominant’s seem to think one sub is just like every other sub? Dominant’s bitching about subs that feel they have certain rights, limits, etc. that the dominants should listen to.
 

Hmmm, it could be unrealistic expectations,,, or they smoke to much crack, lol. [:)] 

Addendum,  I should add that many of those same type of dommes also wish the rest of us would conform to their ideals of what "dommes" should be and how we should all act. Its is perhaps that very type if irreverence that I exhibit that makes me so damn unpopular.[:D]



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 12:55:21 PM)

I am going to assume that you are referring to what you would consider negativity in a profile.  Maybe Mine falls into that category.  I have a lengthy list of reasons why certain petitioners should not contact Me.  I have received way too much email that is nonsense and doesn't even come close to what I seek. 
*Shrug*  I still get silly email from all over the world  I just don't get as much of it.  And that was My end goal.  I give enough information so a boy or girl can determine if it is worthwhile to write to Me.  If they choose not to, we have both saved time.  If they choose to, I can only hope that a small pecentage of emails are from potential slaves who have a grip on reality and are ready.  I recently had an email from a local who is a sissy.  I suggested he keep in touch and meet with Me at a small FemDom oriented munch coming up soon.  The response, finally, after 4 more days?  He will think about it.
I have to wonder why he wrote in the first place.  He is even local to Me. 
I am glad you found what you want.  I am not sure why you amuse yourself by reading profiles if you are already the pet you wished to be.  But I am very specific about what I want, (slaves), and I am fine with what you want to be (a Switch pet).  I run into a problem when I get email from the switches and pets and bedroom boys, when I have already tried to make it clear I am interested in service oriented slaves who are ready to dedicate themselves to Me.  If you can figure out a better way to make it clear, please, have at it.
 



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 1:17:30 PM)

i mainly like to just see if theres anyone worth chatting with. i'm constantlly learning and improving. my mistress is fine with this she knows that i'm just looking for people to chat with seeing as she does the same thing.



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 1:22:01 PM)

thats problly it thanks for the response. to be honest its mostly the masters that i see bitching. i have a few ideas why, but i'm going to exeplore more before saying anything else 



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 1:27:33 PM)

no need to apolgise i think it would be good if i clarifyed things abit. i'm not talking about the people who complain about getting useless emails. gods know i got enough of those myself.  i was basicly talking about those dominants who blanket catorgize anyone who acts submissve and belives that we should all be treated as slaves who have no rights 



ladylexington -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 4:04:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerLachendeKater

Seems to me that a lot of these problems could be solved if the dominants remembered that there are also pet’s, slaves, and switch’s not just sub’s.  


You got me! Too often I use the term, "sub" as an all encompassing category. For me, it's like ice cream - chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla - they're all yummy. I can see why pets, slaves, and subs would want their differences acknowledged. Excellent point.



LadyHugs -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 4:24:47 PM)

Dear DerLachendeKater, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
As one knows, there are all sorts out there.
 
As far as I can tell, the negatives posted can't include names and such.  With that said, some have a high expectation of "immediate" respect and or obedience, some use negative complaints as to invite someone browsing into a response, no different than phishing. 
 
So many of the e-mails that come my way, are from lads who don't read my profile, who want to prove that they're "super slave" and I won't regret it, that I'm not a true dominant because I'm too fat and ugly to get a man so I got to pose as one here. [That one I usually start laughing so hard I'm in tears]  I get lads who say that they will only submit to someone and then gives me a "wish list" to which is their fantasy, wants/needs and I'm to give in -- I do believe some of these chaps don't get it.  Then, there are those who are so sweet, kind and gentlemen, who interact very politely.
 
I can see that you have had similar experiences.
 
For me--I do not expect anything.  I don't wish to keep my hopes up and just enjoy like minded individuals and hopefully, be as much help as possible.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs



thegreymistress -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/10/2006 4:27:44 PM)

I do not complain, I just make clear what I will and will not accept in my inbox. If something does not fit I delete or block. I put enough information for the ones who read to find out if they want to talk to me. I filled out interests and even placed a pic lol.



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/11/2006 12:36:11 AM)

i heart you so much. you actully managed to find my driveing point admist my rambling. 



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/11/2006 12:44:14 AM)

thank you for the intelligent reply. addtionlly i personally think you look very dignified i hope you find what you are looking for



crouchingtigress -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/11/2006 7:57:56 AM)

Folks that have been hurt, Dom, sub, d/s, vanilla find themselves with a clearer perspective of what went wrong in their first relationship and go to great pains not to re create the glaring errors of their past. What you see as negativity I see as a person who is a little tender and wants to protect him/herself.



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/11/2006 8:15:21 AM)

as i said to someone else my main problem is not them getting bitchy about bad emails or protecting themselves. it is the dominants who go under the retarded view that every sub is the same as the next sub and that personally pisses off and offends me that on a site like this that give's such wonderful and eleborate search options and requirements that you can use and put in your profile i still get messages from people telling me to become their slave, sub, hell even master.

i am a pet and will never be anything else darnit.

*takes a breather *what i'm just trying to say that blanket catorgizeing anyone submissve or dominant  on a site like this is to me personally inexecusable



crouchingtigress -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/11/2006 10:58:09 AM)

Oppps wow did I read that wrong...heres a funny idea,,,what if when you wrote/spoke back you spoke in the pet animal persona you are most comfy with...a whinny, a purr or a bark? That might send the message....grin
 
Just know you are not alone in receiving the "I want you to be my fuck-fetish-fantasy, under no circumstance do I want you to be a real person." emails...It is a plague that no one is immune to, dont let it piss you off, that is just wasting time on wankers.....



Proprietrix -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/11/2006 11:40:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerLachendeKater
why is it that so many dominant’s seem to think one sub is just like every other sub?

What gives you this impression?  Are Dominants out there actually writing "I think all subs are the same."?

quote:


Dominant’s bitching about subs that feel they have certain rights, limits, etc. that the dominants should listen to.Seems to me that a lot of these problems could be solved if the dominants remembered that there are also pet’s, slaves, and switch’s not just sub’s.  

So a Dominant bitches that s/he doesn't like submissives who come with limits. How does that equate to saying "All subs are the same."?

quote:


So what is your guys perspective on this? is it dominants just not being specific enough in what they want or visa versa? Or is it perhaps that it’s just the flood of poser dominants and subs that flood everyone’s mailboxes? Or am I just clueless about how things work? Or is it a combination of things or something entirely different?

I think if a Dominant is bitching/complaining about something (like a submissive having limits), they're being quite specific in expressing that they don't want that. That's different than saying that all submissives are the same. If I spent my entire profile bitching about electric play, I think it would be clearly apparent I wasn't seeking out electric play. That would not however, equate to me saying I think all types of play are the same. 

I'm not picking at you here, but I see a trend of this general type of thread lately, of a submissive thinking that because a Dominant states (or even bitches about) what they don't want/like/believe in, it somehow equates to the Dominant thinking all submissives are the same.
I just don't get the connection and I don't understand how or why submissives are reading one thing (a Dominant complaining) but interpretting it as another (Dominants claiming that all submissives are the same.)



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/12/2006 10:21:10 AM)

*grins devilishly* execellent idea tigress. on a side note thanks alot guys this post had alot of potential to become a flamewar on any other of my messageboards. instead it has been a wonderful dicussion. plus you guys forgive my horrible grammer etc it will get better just need to get word on all the comps in the house so i can write out stuff on there first.  ^.^



DerLachendeKater -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/12/2006 10:41:21 AM)

ok i will try to anwser you as best as i can within the rules of the site. as i have mentioned in above posts i look through other dominants and subs post when i'm bored and have no work to do in the house or am taking a short break.

something that i see often in the journals and profiles especally of male dominants but also female dominants is the attitude that pets subs slaves etc all fall under the sub term and all have the exact same rights or should i say lack there of.

personally if i was with one of these dominants and try to make me do some of the things slaves find aceptable i'd grab the nearest sharp object and drive it through their hand but thats just me.

i understand your not picking at me adtionally i now realize i made a misteake with the orginal post. i'm not talking about what a dominant says he or she exepects in a whoever serves them as its written in their profile. i'm talking about their journal's that speak much deeper volumes about their attitudes then their profiles do. people seem to become more comfertable and real in their journals and reveal more about themselves. i actully wonder if they think those journals arnt public.

i hope this anwsers your questions adquatelly.



theRose4U -> RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting becomes more coherent) (5/12/2006 3:03:35 PM)

quote:

I'm not picking at you here, but I see a trend of this general type of thread lately, of a submissive thinking that because a Dominant states (or even bitches about) what they don't want/like/believe in, it somehow equates to the Dominant thinking all submissives are the same.
I just don't get the connection and I don't understand how or why submissives are reading one thing (a Dominant complaining) but interpretting it as another (Dominants claiming that all submissives are the same.)


I don't think that it's that they are reading one thing and thinking another necessarily. Yet again it's the idea of the newbies starting threads complaining so that they can get attention. If the newbies can just convert all of us ole fogies to their brand of kink then the world as they see it would be perfect. I mean we all became Dominants so that we can conform to the desires of every potential sub...right? [sm=lol.gif]



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