A question for the ladies?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

A question for the ladies?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A question for the ladies?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 12:23:22 PM

wulfgarw

Posts: 752
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

I have a question for all the ladies here...

Is sex, in all of it's forms, guises, orientations and colors, an acquired taste for women? I can understand not liking fellatio, and definitely anal, but to my mind, sexual intercourse and cunnilingus would be something you like or not, particularly if you've had it before.

A girl I know, has been with her boyfriend for over a year, and while I know he wants it, she claims, along with a plethora of other reasons and excuses, says she's worried if she's going to like it. She's not a virgin, and as far as I know, harbors no homosexual tendencies. She also claims to be into WIIWD, but he says she's bored when they're engaged in it, as if she does it only because he likes it.

Any opinions would be appreciated.

_____________________________

"Alone I Walk
Broken I Stand
Betrayed I Fight
Forgotten I Fall"

Post #: 1

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 12:31:09 PM

FelineFae

Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline

It is not an aquired taste.

_____________________________

FelineFae
All right reserved by Chaos
: Disclaimer :
Do not expose FelineFae to direct sunlight.
FelineFae cannot spell in any language.
Granting of Fae-Wishes VOID where prohibitededed.
Individual results may vary.

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 2

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 12:35:40 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

for me i may like it with one person but despise it and wonder if I'll like it with another. For me it's dependent on the person I'm with.

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 3

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 12:36:12 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

A girl I know, has been with her boyfriend for over a year, and while I know he wants it, she claims, along with a plethora of other reasons and excuses, says she's worried if she's going to like it. She's not a virgin, and as far as I know, harbors no homosexual tendencies. She also claims to be into WIIWD, but he says she's bored when they're engaged in it, as if she does it only because he likes it.

Ever think she just isnt into him? Or maybe he just doesnt inspire the heart thudding, dripping, "omg fuck me now" kind of response.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 4

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 12:40:27 PM

YoungBlondeSlave

Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

For me, everything I do sexually is dependent upon who I'm with. Some people I love doing certain things with, while others I can't stand the thought of doing those same things.

Sex in general is not an acquired taste, I enjoy it very much.

_____________________________

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Salvador Dali

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 5

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 12:47:44 PM

smartsub10

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

No, it is not an acquired taste. I have been desirous of sex since puberty. But, the intensity of my desire is totally dependent on my feelings for the man with whom I am having sex.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 6

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 1:34:12 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

I think it's impossible to generalise across all women.

Speaking brutally honest - some women are not that into it, rarely orgasm from it and only do it so that they get stuff they like (i.e. oral sex, quite often.)

Other women adore sex, can't get enough of it and, to quote 'fuck like a man'.

Most women are probably somewhere in between.

Just to play devil's advocate - everything is an acquired taste. If every sex or sexual partner you had was awful, you would think you hated sex. Quite a few men also report disappointing sexual experiences when young, or when starting out. I think it often takes a while for people to get into their 'swing'. It may be that she has had disappointing experiences before, or not that much experience full stop. Or it may be that she's just not that into it. Like I say, it's impossible to generalise.

owned xxx

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 7

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 1:35:47 PM

wulfgarw

Posts: 752
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

A girl I know, has been with her boyfriend for over a year, and while I know he wants it, she claims, along with a plethora of other reasons and excuses, says she's worried if she's going to like it. She's not a virgin, and as far as I know, harbors no homosexual tendencies. She also claims to be into WIIWD, but he says she's bored when they're engaged in it, as if she does it only because he likes it.

Ever think she just isnt into him? Or maybe he just doesnt inspire the heart thudding, dripping, "omg fuck me now" kind of response.

That's what I'm thinking.

_____________________________

"Alone I Walk
Broken I Stand
Betrayed I Fight
Forgotten I Fall"

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 8

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 1:41:04 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

fr

not acquired for me either.

i love sex, but it is totally person related. i have to feel safe with a person and trust them or it's not happening. the levels that that is at depends on how much of myself i will give. i spent 16 years with my husband and certainly didn't give him as much as i have the guy i see now. the dynamic i have with him is very special to me and i have learnt an awful lot about myself with him. it's something i'm definately enjoyed exploring with him and it has only happened because of the type of person he is. i've done stuff with him that i would never have considered before simply because with him it feels 'right'.

if your friend can't/won't give herself over then i'd be inclined to think she has an issue with the relationship. i would never have admitted that about my marriage, but i know now it's certainly true.

needles

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 9

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 1:46:33 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

I think it's impossible to generalise across all women.

Speaking brutally honest - some women are not that into it, rarely orgasm from it and only do it so that they get stuff they like (i.e. oral sex, quite often.)

Other women adore sex, can't get enough of it and, to quote 'fuck like a man'.

Most women are probably somewhere in between.

Just to play devil's advocate - everything is an acquired taste. If every sex or sexual partner you had was awful, you would think you hated sex. Quite a few men also report disappointing sexual experiences when young, or when starting out. I think it often takes a while for people to get into their 'swing'. It may be that she has had disappointing experiences before, or not that much experience full stop. Or it may be that she's just not that into it. Like I say, it's impossible to generalise.

owned xxx

i'd agree with that to an extent. i'm lucky in that it's really easy to make me cum if you do the right stuff. but for some reason oral just never did anything for me. what i had never considered was that the guys i'd had just weren't that good at it. however, the guy i see now is fantastic at it and can have me cumming in seconds. so yes, the experience you have can have a great affect on how you view the act.

needles

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

Post #: 10

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 2:17:51 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

I have a question for all the ladies here...

Is sex, in all of it's forms, guises, orientations and colors, an acquired taste for women? I can understand not liking fellatio, and definitely anal, but to my mind, sexual intercourse and cunnilingus would be something you like or not, particularly if you've had it before.

A girl I know, has been with her boyfriend for over a year, and while I know he wants it, she claims, along with a plethora of other reasons and excuses, says she's worried if she's going to like it. She's not a virgin, and as far as I know, harbors no homosexual tendencies. She also claims to be into WIIWD, but he says she's bored when they're engaged in it, as if she does it only because he likes it.

Any opinions would be appreciated.

Excuses to avoid sex and seeming disengaged during play, could mean that she has fear issues or some past trauma that she hasn't dealt with.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 11

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 4:46:38 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

~FR~

Sex isn't an acquired tasted but "faking it" is a learned skill. Maybe that's her problem.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 12

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 5:28:13 PM

BeautifulSufforing

Posts: 38
Joined: 4/3/2011
From: auburn wa
Status: offline

well i have to agree with tazzygirl she's just not that into him and or has another person that has her attention

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 13

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 5:35:45 PM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

she's worried if she's going to like it. She's not a virgin, and as far as I know, harbors no homosexual tendencies.

I hate receiving cunnilingus or penetration. It's not a dyke thing - I just can't stand the sensations.

"I'm worried I'm not going to like it" is a tough statement to pick apart without context. If she's had sex before, told him that she hated it, and he insists that he can make it great for her, she might say something like that to soften it - to avoid calling him a liar to his face.

Are you getting this information through him? She may have said outright that she wouldn't like it, and he may be misremembering. (There's a particular word for this bias, but I don't recall it at the moment.)

"I'm worried I'm not going to like it" could also easily be code for "I'm worried that it will trigger some sort of trauma."

Or she may just not be into him. It's odd that she'd be in a relationship for a year, if that were the case, but people are strange.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 14

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 5:43:14 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Oral sex from someone who doesn't know what they are doing is not only boring, it can be downright painful / disgusting. "Get off me" comes to mind. And if there's too much saliva... just ewwwww

Sometimes it is a mechanical / physics kind of thing.

Boring sex can just ruin sex in general for you. I was with someone who liked to pair what I hated with what I really loved. He thought it would make me love the thing I hated. Nope. I started to dread sex.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to strangedesire)

Post #: 15

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 7:49:56 PM

peachgirl

Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

It has never been an acquired taste for me, but it is exponentially better with the right partner. Apples and oranges, I guess.

_____________________________

Have you seen that girl in the corner?
I'd like to take her out of her chains
Cause if I had my way with you baby
I would be changing your life today.
- Bob Welch

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 16

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 8:25:18 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

I have a question for all the ladies here...

Is sex, in all of it's forms, guises, orientations and colors, an acquired taste for women? I can understand not liking fellatio, and definitely anal, but to my mind, sexual intercourse and cunnilingus would be something you like or not, particularly if you've had it before.

I don't think it's an acquired taste. Either you like it or don't, and each woman is individual in her preferences. I like giving fellatio, giving AND receiving cunnilingus, and fucking. Anal is a NO due to PTSD/rape issues. Also, it has to be with someone I have a relationship with, where that doesn't make a difference to some women. I'm not into casual sex, but some women are. Also, some people are good at various types of sex and other people, well, they just....aren't. Ya know.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
/ disgusting. "Get off me" comes to mind.

This just made me flash on "Get off me you little fungus!!" in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 17

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 8:48:53 PM

sirssubk2008

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/1/2011
Status: offline

We have all heard a million times that communication is the key to any relationship and I myself,have found it to be true. They need to sit down and seriously discuss the problem.

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 18

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 9:06:33 PM

hematitan

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/25/2010
Status: offline

I don't think sex is any more an "acquired taste" for women than it is for men. How much someone enjoys sex and what type of sex they enjoy are individual things, and someone's sex life depends on them and on their relationship.

I think in some cases, women might be less aware of what they like sexually (or less inclined to voice it) if they've grown up in an environment where women's sexuality is taboo. But that's a cultural thing.

(in reply to sirssubk2008)

Post #: 19

RE: A question for the ladies? - 4/30/2011 10:12:56 PM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

Hmm,... an acquired taste? you mean like learning to ride a bike is an acquired taste? I think it takes a little time to get the hang of doing something new, whether its sex or riding a bike or whatever. I first had anal sex when I was 17 with my first boyfriend. We did it a few times cuz it was one of the things in the book on sex we had. I didnt really think much of it at the time, it was weird feeling the first couple of times we did it. Then when I was still with my ex, I wanted to have anal with him. Only tried once and it was disappointing for me to say the least. It wasnt until I was single again that I really got into anal and loved it. But it wasnt so much the act that i got off on, rather it, to me, was the ultimate in submission and being dominated that way, it was mostly the mental thing for me. When I watch porn, it is always anal porn that i watch, I want to see the domination. However, I was hurt by one guy i was seeing cuz he was too big for me and too aggressive, so now I would have to really be into the guy and trust him to have anal with him.

What is going on with this girl you know, its very hard to say. She doesnt sound like she wants to open up and tell the boyfriend what is really going on with her. Sex for guys is pretty simple, sex for a lot of women is very complicated and how complicated can depend on the guy.

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A question for the ladies?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094