RE: Intense Emotional Responses

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/1/2011 12:45:01 PM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

So you would rather think you're darned tooting right, than consider how you might have disappointed your Master and work towards remedying the situation?

absolutely!! when heather thinks i'm wrong i expect, no, i require she speak up. that's one of the benefits of having a girl that's smarter than you, you get the benefit of her bigger brain.

i'm happy to use every other part of her body to its fullest, so why not her brain too?

hannah lynn

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/1/2011 1:01:06 PM

littlewonder

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In our relationship if I feel I'm right and he's wrong I will tell him but if he still feels he's right then so be it. I'll do what he wants...even if I think it's wrong and I will suck it up and move on. If it turns out a mess then he'll adjust it or say he was wrong...but that doesn't mean I will gloat or throw it in his face. If I did that I would wonder just what the hell got into me and why I think I'm his slave.

Doesn't matter if I'm right. It matters that I obey him...right or wrong.

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/1/2011 1:15:50 PM

HannahLynHeather

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yeah, that's pretty much how it works, i just usually listen to heather when she thinks i'm wrong. she's almost always been right so far.

hannah lynn

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/1/2011 4:13:07 PM

sunshinemiss

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

I agree that you are not responsible for how other people feel. I was just pointing out that when you love and respect someone and they are disappointed about something you said or did, then I wouldn't go tooting around thinking that I was right, naner naner naner.. just to keep my ego inflated.

I don't recall my saying anything about taunting or about keeping my ego inflated. In fact, that is so far from the person that *I* am that I find it interesting that this was the way you interpreted my words. May want to consider cleaning your lenses.

quote:

But if in fact, I didn't do anything wrong, I would still try to smooth out the conflict with my Master, so that he understands that there was a misunderstanding...A miscommunication between us.

Again, where is the conflict? Where is the misunderstanding? Where is the miscommunication? I would hope that any man I am with would be smart enough to realize that I'm not going to check my brain at the door. If he doesn't realize that, he will pretty quickly, and I will realize we aren't suited.

What you said was an insult to everyone who doesn't do things your way. You said the rest of us hadn't submitted ... (and that part about not submitting to oneself ... that's just wrong).

I admit I've not read the self-destructive subs thread. Didn't really interest me. However, you have stated on THIS thread:

quote:

Some people believe that having intense emotional reactions, such as having your spirits crushed by your Master and getting really depressed about it, is a mental disorder....I disagree.
Typically, people who believe that have never felt submission at the deepest level. Because if they did, they would understand what it means when someone truly has power over you, rather than pretends to.

You have become judge, jury, and executioner to those of us who maintain a certain healthy individuality. You have called us liars (pretenders). You have not considered that perhaps we have done so (or didn't even need to bother with that experiment) and found it unhealthy or inappropriate for *us*.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/1/2011 4:20:47 PM

subbykat

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Why do you speak on behalf of everyone? What I wrote was for the OP, not YOU personally. Geez...these forums are a breeding ground for people who think the world revolves around them.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 5/1/2011 4:21:08 PM >

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 6:28:24 AM

sunshinemiss

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Wow. What are you reading? Where you addressed *me*, I responded as an individual. To your OP, I responded as one of a group... not for everyone. Clearly you are trying to throw up a smoke screen. That's also called a "red herring" in case you were wondering.

Kat, if you can't debate, don't know how to back up your opinions, and have to sit on your "high horse" as has been noted earlier, I see no reason to interact with you. I tend to prefer people who can actually deal with an issue rather than attack the person.

And now... I appreciate both being alerted to your history. (Thanks CP). I also appreciate that you show consistency. That tells me you are not ready to wake up. Rest well. I'm gonna have some of the coffee that the rest of us can smell.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 6:31:47 AM

thedavezone

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You know what that is? LOVE.

That's exactly what it is! I'm so happy for you!

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 7:04:51 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

(Thanks CP).

*Waves and smooches to the sunshine girl*

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 3:22:30 PM

LondonDomsslut

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I've found that as I have opened up to my Master, and allowed myself to become increasingly vulnerable with him, we have inevitably become closer. At the same time I've found my reactions have become much more intense - when I please him I now soar, of course the flipside of that is when things go wrong I feel the disappointment more intensely as well. This has scared me at points, and I've found myself resisting submitting to these feelings. I've realised though they are part of my submission and our relationship. Accepting the way I feel as normal has allowed me to enjoy the experiences even more.

I can't state my experiences and opinions as fact, and I am still new to this, but I love having the opportunity to share my opinions and read those of others.

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 3:29:24 PM

needlesandpins

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i don't think this is exclusive to D/s relationships and neither do i think you have to be in love with the person either. the guy i see now can do exactly the same to me. one moment i feel fantastic and everything is good, but on the flip side i can feel really down about stuff too. i'm sure it's not just me.

needles

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 3:38:00 PM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Wow. What are you reading? Where you addressed *me*, I responded as an individual. To your OP, I responded as one of a group... not for everyone. Clearly you are trying to throw up a smoke screen. That's also called a "red herring" in case you were wondering.

Kat, if you can't debate, don't know how to back up your opinions, and have to sit on your "high horse" as has been noted earlier, I see no reason to interact with you. I tend to prefer people who can actually deal with an issue rather than attack the person.

And now... I appreciate both being alerted to your history. (Thanks CP). I also appreciate that you show consistency. That tells me you are not ready to wake up. Rest well. I'm gonna have some of the coffee that the rest of us can smell.

best,
sunshine

Oh quit your hollerin' drama queen. You are only hurting yourself.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 5/2/2011 3:44:22 PM >

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 4:00:14 PM

Palliata

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As others have said, this seems 100% normal to me. If anything it means you've found a really good pairing. Congratulations to you, and to your master.

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/2/2011 5:23:18 PM

hejira92

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From my experience, and my experience only, I think what you are feeling is normal. As you lose your "walls" to your Master, your ability to balance and hide your emotions may wane. For me, reacting emotionally has developed naturally from my trust and His ownership.

As my trust grew, so did my ability to give Him everything- every reaction, every emotion- I don't even call it vulnerability anymore because that indicates it could be used against me. He has me, He is me, how could He use me against me? (well, He could, but that belongs in a mindfuck thread. lol) So, He gets whatever I'm feeling.

And that could mean I get upset if I think something -anything- has upset Him. That could mean me falling to my knees in worship of Him after being used in play. That could mean crying in joy from the sexual experience He just gave me. Whatever it is, you can bet I react intensely.

I say, if your master says it's fine, it's fine. Trust him. I sometimes ask Sir if I get too intense or emotional or, god-forbid, needy in my reactions. Sir says no. He says that's the real me, my core being, and that's all that He will accept. The Truth.

Now, this is my relationship. I am lucky in my level of trust and intimacy. Every relationship has its own parameters and definitions.

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RE: Intense Emotional Responses - 5/4/2011 2:49:09 PM

yummee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

But if in fact, I didn't do anything wrong, I would still try to smooth out the conflict with my Master, so that he understands that there was a misunderstanding...A miscommunication between us.

If there has been a misunderstanding or miscommunication, I think many (perhaps most) of us would try to smooth that out. B being wrong is not a misunderstanding or miscommunication, though. He is an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and resources, as I am an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and resources. Sometimes he's wrong. Sometimes I'm wrong. Why would he want me to pretend he's right, nod like a good little bobbledoll, and skip along this path even though I know we took a wrong turn back there. When he finally figures out how far off course we are, do you think he's going to be glad I nodded like an idiot?

If I think B's wrong, I generally interject (unless its trivial), politely, respectfully ... "Oh, I thought I remembered him saying take a LEFT at the barn, not a right." If he's sure, but I'm still sure as well, I might say, "OK, but I'm 99.9999999% sure." After that, I drop it. No disrespect, no attitude ... why would B be disappointed in me over that anyway?

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