quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv
Not to hijack the thread or anything, but i'd say the only thing that i really don't put much stock into, is the idea that my submission is a gift. To me it almost sounds a little one sided. I mean, my gift of submission is just as meaningful as Her gift to me, which is nurturing my submission within. Compatible people, regardless of lifestyle will always come together and benifit each other in a complimentary fashion. To label what i bring to the table as a "gift", (for me anyway) just takes things a little too far. Unless of course, what She brings to the table is a gift as well. It's just funny how Her "gift" always seems to get overlooked when this topic comes up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub
i've tried with all my heart to learn what it means to be submissive through reading the boards, researching articles, and participating in online discussion. i state this as a way of establishing some credibility with what i'm about to write.

There will be assumptions and misconceptions that need to be stripped away, an immediate need to understand the protocols and dialect, and periods of introspection that will of necessity need to be revisited again and again.

Males are viewed as irresponsible, insincere, self-serving, sex addicts for the most part. This is probably more the case when trying to communicate online rather than in person. The anonymity the Internet provides, emboldens males to let their hormones guide their behavior more often than not and this is unfortunate for those of sincere intent.

This is further complicated by the unique wants and needs of both parties when contact is initiated. What is it that each person is really looking for? How capable are they in communicating who they are? What assumptions do they have and how willing are they to work towards finding the common ground wherein both will be able to interact? If these questions cannot be answered at the outset, then the whole meeting process will quickly become a muddle.

What this means for the submissive male is there's a HUGE learning curve to deal with. i feel the following suggestions will go far in helping a sincere submissive male to establish his credibility.

1. You are first a human being, trying to get your needs met while at the same time trying to learn how to go about it properly. Until you "submit" without question to a Domme you have met who wishes to assume control over you, you are not beholding to anyone. Speaking respectfully to a Domme is not submission and although you may feel a strong compulsion to do so, do not give in to the temptation to be Dominated right away. You disrespect yourself and the Domme in the process.

2. If you haven't already begun to do so, start thinking about what it means to submit. Ask yourself simple, small questions about what the life of a submissive is like. If done with care, you will realize there are things you are responsible for learning on your own. The more you develop a sense of who you are, the more that will be evident when interacting with the Dommes you will make contact with.

3. Develop the ability to spot Dommes who have no sense of themselves.
4. Understand and accept that a genuine submissive male has begun a journey that requires education. Educate yourself by doing research. In addition to learning what it means to submit, do not make the mistake of overlooking what it is you will be doing for your Domme once you have surrendered. What can you do? What skills do you have? Where can you learn more?

5. Be true to yourself and honest.....Get in touch with the core of your being and let that show in how you conduct yourself. A submissive male is NOT a doormat but rather a resource. You should value yourself and the gift of submission you offer. Conversely, it should be quite evident the Domme recognizes this as well. If not, you are wasting your own gift.

Sincerely, anthrosub[/color]