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I want to be tied up - 4/30/2011 11:34:52 PM   
deviladdictions


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/28/2011
Status: offline 		I'm really into BDSM, and my partner isnt really.
I've been going on and on for the longest time now about how much I really want him to dominate me, but he usually brushes me off.
Anyway, has anyone else had to introduce their partners to s/m, how did you go about it?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 12:21:48 AM   
shybeth22


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/14/2011
Status: offline 		find out what he likes most and do those things and he will be more willing to do for you

make it clear you will do anything but be careful what you ask for because nice mild mannered gentlemen can be hiding a serious kinky side

(in reply to deviladdictions)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 3:20:31 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		It's dead simple to introduce your partner - *IF* they're into what you're into in their own right. And therein seems to lie your problem....

It's worse than that, actually. Many a caring relationship includes trying to cater their partner's special needs but yours doesn't even seem open to that (trying).

Me, I just lurv rendering my girl all helpless and vulnerable - for starters.... You seem cute from your pic; you need to dump his boring and disinterested arse and move here (at your own expense, of course).

And welcome to the Forums.... :)

Focus.

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to shybeth22)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 4:04:24 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		you are only 18... if he is your age... he is probably very happy just to have normal sex for now... and might feel out of his comfort zone thinking he has to wear black leather and don a whip...
if you find you are actually a bit bored with it with his methods... if you feel you are not getting turned on enough... then you have to tell him explicitly what you would like to change without giving him the feeling that he is not good enough...
rather than telling him what he does wrong... you should tell him what you want... not just "be more dominating" but explicitly ask him if he would tell you to do "xxxx" or if he would please hold your hair just so (show him) when he kisses you... or if he would please make you wetter and dirtier before he starts fucking you...

(in reply to deviladdictions)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 4:14:31 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		My suggestion is "a little at a time" - try dressing up and inciting him to spank you- if your reaction is positive (I.e. The result is fabulous sex) then the idea may just catch on and you can introduce him to kinkier things...

But... If he's just not kinky, he may just ... Not be kinky

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to deviladdictions)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 4:32:52 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Try buying "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns," which has lots of pictures, and show him what looks like fun to you.

If he's completely uninterested, pack your bags for Australia, Focus will be happy to lend a hand ;)

(in reply to deviladdictions)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 4:44:14 AM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		Perhaps he wants you to dominate him? Could be one reason for his reluctance.

owned xxx

(in reply to deviladdictions)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 5:19:11 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There's a chance that he'll come around, but you've told him what you want and he hasn't bitten.  I assume he's not interested.

And since you list your orientation as Switch, maybe you could try Dominating him?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 8:55:38 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Why does he have to change to fit you? Why can't you change to fit him?

I ask this to point out to you that he deserves to be with someone who thinks he's the absolute best, just as he is. Just as you do. But you just keep telling him that he isn't good enough and he isn't doing it right. No wonder he won't move out of his comfort zone with you putting him down all the time.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 8:56:22 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deviladdictions

I'm really into BDSM, and my partner isnt really.



The above implies your "partner" is aware of your interests, but just isn't into it.  The reality is, they may never be.  Not everyone likes sushi, the color red, or BDSM.  (shrugs)



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to deviladdictions)
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RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 9:23:00 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deviladdictions
Anyway, has anyone else had to introduce their partners to s/m, how did you go about it?

I'm not sure that "introduce" is exactly the right word. But recently Carol's taken an interest in masochism. I think she said something tricky like, "Hmmm, I think a sharp smack on my nipples might be really good right now." Me, being the guy who loves her, undertook to explore the topic. It's still underway. The same thing happened recently with bondage but this time it's me with the original idea. For us, this is pretty natural behavior. We tend to be pretty tight so if one of us zigs or zags, the other one is right there with them.

I also agree with Focus's statement:
It's worse than that, actually. Many a caring relationship includes trying to cater their partner's special needs but yours doesn't even seem open to that (trying).


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to deviladdictions)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I want to be tied up - 5/1/2011 9:32:09 AM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		Yeah, yeah, you want to be tied up well I want a meal that isn't fit for roadkill.

Now get to it, woman.


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"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 12
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