RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive?

RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (Full Version)

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Awareness -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 11:49:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh And if she doesn't, then she's unnatural? You seem to have this very outdated idea of 'Me Tarzan, you Jane'. Modern interactions between men and women are very different, to say the least. No. They're not. The fundamentals of why women find men attractive haven't changed one iota. quote: quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness Most normal, healthy hetero women respond to dominant men. Period. Dominant and equality minded women are NOT abnormal and unhealthy. Who gives a fuck. They're not a Dom's target audience anyway. And you'll note the use of the word 'most' which is a qualifier which imples "not all". Pay attention next time. quote: What a fine example of sexism and bigotry within the BDSM scene! Most women want relationships based on equality these days. No they don't. They're taught that they should but many of them come to discover they want a man with the cojones to lead who doesn't give a flying fuck about notions of 'equality' when it comes to relationships. quote: BDSM is a subculture involving a minority of people, and M/f relationships are a subset of that subculture involving an even smaller minority of people. You seem to be living in some fantasy world where you are unable to differentiate between the desires of most women, and the minority sexuality of submissive women within BDSM. Most sub chicks exist outside of formalised BDSM. Dominant chicks are very much a minority. If a woman's a sub and looking for 'equality' in a relationship, then she is seriously confused. quote: I see, so you are recommending that the OP attempt to dominate women that a) don't identify as submissive and b) without asking for their consent? I think your opinion of women is massively disrespectful and bordering on the immoral. If you don't respect women enough to ask them if they want to submit to you, then are you respectful enough to ask them what their limits are, or any other of the necessary information for a Safe, Sane and Consensual relationship, or is that so 'fucking lame' too? I think I know women far better than you do. I didn't advise him to scene with them for fuck's sake. Being a Dom is not something you switch on and off, it's who you are. Sub women respond to that. Often unconsciously. quote: So many red flags, so little time. Thank god neither me nor my Owner followed any of this advice, cause he'd be in jail, and I'd still be single. To the OP, please, please ignore everything you are being told here, this is just setting you up to be one of those women-hating 'uber Doms' that any sub with a shred of common sense stays well away from. Women are human beings with their own desires and opinions. The best Doms I have met are totally respectful of women, and this leads them to have healthy, satisfying, consensual relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Please do not follow the awful example you are being given here! I can only conclude your owner lets you top from the bottom. Respect is earned based upon personality traits demonstrated by action. No man with a lick of sense is going to respect you based purely on your possession of a vagina and it's the self-entitled princess who thinks otherwise.

Awareness -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 11:52:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NavyGirl18 quote: Shhh. Men talking. tsk, tsk! I've told you to mind your manners in front of your betters. Go stand in the corner and be a good little boy while the ladies and I are talking. Awww. You're so cute when you try and play big girl. How about an ice-cream. quote: <How many throws does it take to hit me right in the eye?> One. It's easy, your head is HUGE.

Selectivelight -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 12:48:08 PM)
Me? Most of the time I just get to know them. As a person, as a friend, and eventually, occasionally, if things work out well and the pieces fit, then as a woman. If we end up growing close in that direction, I usually sit them down and have a very frank and open conversation about what they can expect from me, and what it is I want out of the relationship. But I don't spend every waking moment chasing satisfaction with my dick. [Results may vary. Viewer discretion is advised.]

ResidentSadist -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 12:53:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-) If she picks up the remote ... and keeps it instead of handing it to you, she most likely isn't.

aromanholiday -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 12:59:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh A great many submissives will 'test' or challenge a known Dom just to show him that he's not in charge (unless he is their Dom). This is a bit of a tangent from the main topic, but I don't think it will be a long one. My question is, in what circumstances does this challenging or testing occur and why is it done? If he isn't their dominant, then why do they go out of their way to challenge him? If I am owned and someone else isn't my dominant but is a known Dom, I don't feel a need to challenge or test him, at least I can't recall ever feeling such an urge. I just leave the person alone. Or, if it is a social situation and I am seated next to him or otherwise expected to interact with him, I will make neutral polite friendly conversation, make little jokes, and try to put him at his ease, the way I would with anyone in that sort of situation. Are you talking about message board posts or the guys who write you on personal-ad sites even though your profile says "owned?" I do see this challenging happening here, and I have a hard time understanding it. Submissive women don't get likewise challenged when they say they are submissive. Most posters just take their orientation at face value. I guess a submissive's decision-making abilities do get challenged a bit, as many new submissive posts are about frightful situations they find themselves in.

Awareness -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 1:02:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Selectivelight Me? Most of the time I just get to know them. As a person, as a friend, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. wipes a tear from the eye Dude, you're a comedic genius.

lronitulstahp -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 1:04:20 PM)
FR~ Why start bringing reality into consideration now???? i just bought a sign...saved me a lot of explaining....[sm=yesmaster.gif]

Awareness -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 1:04:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist If she picks up the remote ... and keeps it instead of handing it to you, she most likely isn't. It's no coincidence that in the household of a buddy, the remote was always referred to as "the power". "Where's the power? What's happened to the power? Give me the power." - and this was years before he became involved in the scene.

ResidentSadist -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 1:17:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist If she picks up the remote ... and keeps it instead of handing it to you, she most likely isn't. It's no coincidence that in the household of a buddy, the remote was always referred to as "the power". "Where's the power? What's happened to the power? Give me the power." - and this was years before he became involved in the scene. I see your point. If a woman "takes" food off my plate... it's like competing with a lion for his meal. Oh, I can feed her, she can beg or ask permission in someway... but DO NOT get between the lion and his food. If a girl does that, I feel she does not respect my position and it makes me want to bite her to reminder her of her place. It may not have anything to do with the BDSM scene directly but it absolutely has everything to do with power.

aromanholiday -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 1:30:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: but I've found that a sub who always has to be compliant and obedient is merely playing a role; dig deep enough and you unleash a fountain of anger and resentment (towards the dom.) really? I'm glad that's not our experience. playing a role? Hardly. In our relationship and my relationship with anyone for that matter, I'm obedient and compliant because I absolutely hate challenges. I absolutely hate chaos or anger or trouble of any kind at all. Anytime there's conflict in my life or even around me I'm the first to look for a hole to duck into so I can disappear. No anger and resentment here. Instead I thrive on obedience and compliance. The whole idea of not being those just makes me shudder with fear. Thank you for taking the trouble to say what I would have said undoubtedly using too many words and not nearly this level of coherence. (In case that doesn't parse right, I'm praising you--and also relieved I do not need to respond in my own clumsy way to that post. You said it all.)

aromanholiday -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 1:32:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp FR~ Why start bringing reality into consideration now???? i just bought a sign...saved me a lot of explaining....[sm=yesmaster.gif] Oh, I don't know. I guess I was bored. :p I admire your sign! Was it very expensive?

littlewonder -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 3:01:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aromanholiday quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: but I've found that a sub who always has to be compliant and obedient is merely playing a role; dig deep enough and you unleash a fountain of anger and resentment (towards the dom.) really? I'm glad that's not our experience. playing a role? Hardly. In our relationship and my relationship with anyone for that matter, I'm obedient and compliant because I absolutely hate challenges. I absolutely hate chaos or anger or trouble of any kind at all. Anytime there's conflict in my life or even around me I'm the first to look for a hole to duck into so I can disappear. No anger and resentment here. Instead I thrive on obedience and compliance. The whole idea of not being those just makes me shudder with fear. Thank you for taking the trouble to say what I would have said undoubtedly using too many words and not nearly this level of coherence. (In case that doesn't parse right, I'm praising you--and also relieved I do not need to respond in my own clumsy way to that post. You said it all.) Anytime. I just get annoyed when people act like a Dom will get bored with someone who just obeys and is compliant, like no one could possibly be like that without being a robot, like if one doesn't at least challenge and push a Dom then she/he is just not right.

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 3:11:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop ~FR~ check the bottom of her foot for a tattoo that says USDA Prime Sub. You made me snort coke!

thishereboi -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 3:32:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness Shhh. Men talking. lol, wow, I just perved your profile because I figured you had to be underage and your 43. This place never ceases to amaze me.

TheShrew -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 3:50:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop ~FR~ check the bottom of her foot for a tattoo that says USDA Prime Sub. [sm=LMAO.gif]

leadership527 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 4:37:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I just get annoyed when people act like a Dom will get bored with someone who just obeys and is compliant, like no one could possibly be like that without being a robot, like if one doesn't at least challenge and push a Dom then she/he is just not right. As I've laughed about many time, one of the truly unacceptable things in BDSM is a submissive personality. It's OK to be a dominant personality that submits. It's way less OK to be submissive. You know, you gotta be a strong sub, right? sigh

littlewonder -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 5:19:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I just get annoyed when people act like a Dom will get bored with someone who just obeys and is compliant, like no one could possibly be like that without being a robot, like if one doesn't at least challenge and push a Dom then she/he is just not right. As I've laughed about many time, one of the truly unacceptable things in BDSM is a submissive personality. It's OK to be a dominant personality that submits. It's way less OK to be submissive. You know, you gotta be a strong sub, right? sigh You know I used to pretend and tell myself that I was strong, that I was actually dominant outside of bdsm but ya know, I'm not. I can't deny that. I can tell myself and others till the cows come home but in the end I'm a submissive personality. I was shy as a child, I hated when I saw people fighting, I was always the one to take a back seat and rarely ever spoke up and never ever raised my hand in class. I'm still that way. Yeah, Master and others like to say I'm strong because all I've been through in life and because I take control of my life and do what I have to do to get by but that's exactly what it is...doing what I HAVE to do...not because I WANT to. It's because I either do it or die or destroy the life of my child which I just can't bring myself to do. So when people ask me about who I am I have to be honest. I am who I am. It's a shame that as women we can't just admit it and instead so many think they have to be strong because it's been the war-cry for so long....I am woman, hear me roar. For me and me alone it's more of a squeak.

hejira92 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 5:40:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 One of my signature lines at social get-togethers with friends was to tell the women to keep it down because the men were talking. Doesn't tell you who's submissive but it sure eliminates a shit load of feminist types from the list of possibilities. Good job looks really can't kill, too.... Focus. If I was in a vanilla situation (or in a grey area while dating) and a man had the audacity to Shhh me because the men were talking, he'd never get the chance to find out if I were submissive or not. Obnoxious is Obnoxious. OP- I once had a first date with a Dom- we met online on another site. We hit it off so well, laughed so much and both told stories all night. It felt like a vanilla date in that there was no "Me, Dom, you sub and this is what I want to do to you" talk. When he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight, he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. I instantly went limp. He let go and I asked why he did that. He said he was just checking. Later in the relationship he explained that, after seeing my outgoing and garrulous personality, he was checking to see if I really was a sub. If I wasn't I wouldn't have gone limp, but would have tensed up. His theory, anyway. I don't know if you can do this to a girl on a truly vanilla date.....

DesFIP -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 5:48:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness Respect is earned based upon personality traits demonstrated by action. Absolutely. Which is why it's so ironic that you earn none from anyone here.

aromanholiday -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 6:47:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Anytime. I just get annoyed when people act like a Dom will get bored with someone who just obeys and is compliant, like no one could possibly be like that without being a robot, like if one doesn't at least challenge and push a Dom then she/he is just not right. I do too. While not everybody has to like that quality in submissives or slaves, dominants who really like control tend to. They like things done exactly their way, and executing their orders is not the least bit mindless nor easy, in my experience. It takes a lot of intelligence, planning, and also considerable restraint (not to slough off) to obey well. There are things you can do as a not-compliant-all-the-time feisty submissive with a permissive dominant that you could never get away with a different sort of master. The care you must take with the latter, even when you have some wiggle room, is considerable, and your decisions need to be conservative and not "assume" that something done differently or not done is going to be acceptable. In my experience, someone who likes a strong level of control, also really appreciates a submissive or slave who just simply and very consistently, without flash or fuss, obeys.

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