LanceHughes
Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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Well, Lance returns from FIRST DAY at a Federal job and what does he find? Two full pagaes (plus) of WINS. You guys rock!
Typical first day. "Here's your cubicle. Read these manuals. Sign-up sheet for Thursday's potluck is over there."
Just a couple of problems:
1) Employee ID badge not ready.... I mean my "Federal Access Document" wasn't ready!!! No, seriously, that's what the mag-stripe card is called. "Maybe it will come tomorrow (from FBI headquarters in Virginia) but I have no tracking system to tell me where it's at in the process." <= WOW! What a confidence booster!
2) Cubicle's former inhabitant was a short person. Bang your kness much, Lance? "Sorry. We didn't expect you for another two weeks. The work order to get the desk raised is already submitted."
3) "Sorry about this map of the building. Kind of out-dated. We're having to squeeze folks in as we're growing so quickly. But at least it shows where the restrooms are." NOT really - big, un-marked spaces where "cubes" are, but no indication of aisles or anything like that. I joked that maybe I needed to requisition a GPS system for internal use and my guide said, "Okay. Here's the forms." HUH?
4) "Nope, sorry, I can't find a current phone list or org chart. Maybe this one will do? // Looks at file attached // Nope, there's been a couple of changes since then." Oh.... BTW, my phone was dis-connected. I'll get a new extension.... so what are all these voice-mails on here? "Don't worry, somone else is 'tracking' those." But, but.... why dis-connect the phone to begin with?
5) "One of those changes in the org chart is that the woman who interviewed you and hired you since she was going to be your boss, ____ fill in the blank _____" LOL!
I'm taking the WIN, putting it in the stack of manuals and that way, I can rest assured that NO ONE will be able to find it. LOL!
ETA: I forgot THE biggest problem:
6) "We recently discovered that two critical pieces of hardware you need to complete your 'mission' do not work together. We've got it figured out, but your hardware hasn't arrived yet. Don't worry; here's another manual to read to keep you busy." ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...........
Actually, everyone was gracious and welcoming and friendly. General comment: "Oh, good. Glad you're here. The back-log of files you'll be working on has been growing day-by-day." Third or fourth time I heard that, I handed my visitor's badge to my "guide" and said, "Please turn this in at the guard's desk. I'm outta here." He was NOT amused. I guess I need an "LOL!" sign.
And, and...... why IS there a back-log? Evidently there was a contractor that "Ran out of money." WTF does that mean? How 'bout you extend the contract? OR something? NOPE! Files are just sitting there - and GET THIS! They are PAPER files! Meanwhile, the powers that be had to requisiton a new position. Evidently I'm "special" given the financial climate of the Feds.
Yeah, yeah.... I know you all think I'm special. But now the "Federales" do, too.
< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 10/24/2011 8:52:47 PM >
_____________________________
"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong
10 fluffy points
50 nz points
Member: VAA's posse
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RE: LOTPWins Part Deux - .gif){kind=avatar}
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Will this one do, Lance? 
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