6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (Full Version)

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rulemylife -> 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 2:03:15 PM)

Considering that the Politics and Religion board is quickly turning into the Conspiracy Central forum, I would earnestly like to offer my contribution to the cause.



6 wackiest bin Laden conspiracy theories


William and Kate Tipped on bin Laden Killing

Bin Laden's death bumped the birthers out of the news—it also bumped off the royal wedding. Could there be a connection between the two huge media stories?

Bin Laden Worked for the CIA

Self-styled independent journalist James Corbett called the news of bin Laden's death a “retirement party for an old CIA asset, along the lines of Lee Harvey Oswald in 1963.”


The CIA faked the new videos

If there was ever a question about whether photographs of bin Laden's body would convince skeptics, look no further than the response to bin Laden's home videos. In a post titled “Hoax,” a writer at libertarian Alex Jones' site, Info Wars, says the videos, which were released “in a desperate effort to bolster its crumbling official narrative,” are a bit too similar to other videos release in 2007 by a “Pentagon front group.”


Osama bin Laden is not dead

Surprisingly, this seems to be the less popular of two main conspiracy theories. For obvious reasons, this version is more popular among the Taliban than in the United States. But even in the U.S., some raised doubts about whether bin Laden had really been killed. Fox Business News host Andrew Napolitano asked guests “whether the government is telling us the truth or pulling a fast one to save Obama’s lousy presidency.”


Osama bin Laden was already dead

A more palatable theory for those who want to believe both that bin Laden is dead and that the U.S. government is perpetrating a vast fraud, this one actually has been around for years. The gist of it is that bin Laden died of kidney failure or was killed by U.S. troops in Tora Bora and that his body has been frozen for a decade, held as a trump card that two different administrations have been waiting to play.


No Women in the Situation Room

While not exactly a conspiracy theory, this at least qualifies as a bit of unexplained intrigue: One Hasidic Jewish newspaper appears to be boldly proposing that no women were with the president and other security chiefs in the Situation Room during the raid on bin Laden’s compound.




mnottertail -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 2:09:40 PM)

What about the one I created, that he was actually Jimmy Hoffa?  And so now, everyone knows the rest of the story? Who knows?  It could happen.

Anyone got a long form on either one of these clowns?




rulemylife -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 2:23:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

What about the one I created, that he was actually Jimmy Hoffa?  And so now, everyone knows the rest of the story? Who knows?  It could happen.

Anyone got a long form on either one of these clowns?


Anything is absolutely possible even when there is proof it is not possible because that proof could be faked.

That's why I question anything the government tells me.

If you can't prove it wrong then it's possibly true.  Even if you can prove it to be wrong you don't know that the powers in charge have not used their many powers to lie to you.

I'm not even sure I was born here since I don't know what happened to my birth certificate.

I suspect the CIA stole it, but I can't prove that, even though I know it is true.

It could be my parents were really Kenyans and I'm an illegal alien.




mnottertail -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 2:33:29 PM)

Since you question the truth of everything the government tells you, I would hope you would not be so lame as to use fraudulent government documents as proof of a governmental fraud perpetrated, yet codified by the government with government documentation as others of weaker minds might do...  It raises an issue of conundrums, you see.

Like saying; redundant, redundant, redundantly......   




Lucylastic -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 2:48:22 PM)

quote:

William and Kate Tipped on bin Laden Killing


Bin Laden's death bumped the birthers out of the news—it also bumped off the royal wedding. Could there be a connection between the two huge media stories?


I already said somewhere that Obama got so pissed at not being invited, so he decided to rain on their parade!

If OBL wasnt dead they wouldhave had him parading  around holding up pics of the royal wedding.





Real0ne -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 2:48:57 PM)

Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories

7.) Osama Bin Laden involved in 911.


A direct connection between Osama Bin Laden and the events of 911.












CarpeComa -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 4:57:46 PM)

Osama secretly son of Elvis.

During a tour of the middle east, a typically womanizing Elvis managed to sneak off with a local girl. The result of that union was Osama Bin Laden. This if course made the mother a pariah and when little Osama found out, fostered his hatred for all things western. He decided that for the good of all (and not just a little bit of vengeance), the west had to give up it's decadent ways, and he was going to be the one to make them do it. Boy had daddy issues up to here.

Let that be a lesson for all to either use condoms or keep it in your pants, lest you sire a terrorist hellbent on the destruction of you and all that you stood for.






kdsub -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 6:34:45 PM)

Nope…below is the true skinny….

OBL was shot with knockout darts then captured alive. The US faked his death and now they have him in a secret facility 200 feet beneath the CIA building.

The plan is to torture him and gain all his secrets then he can be killed at our leisure.

Butch




TheHeretic -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 7:29:21 PM)

How's this one, Ron? The conspiracy is to manipulate the pop culture/press release obsessed media into going after the wildest stories they can be fed. The conspiracy is to fill the airwaves and newsfeeds with so much crazy, stupid, illegitimate poppycock any sane person is going to laugh at, that there simply isn't time or space for the less juicy, but more revealing angles on the story to be looked at while the thing is fresh. The conspiracy is to lay down a psychological template where anybody who wants to say, "helluva good job, but there are some concerns for the after-action brief," can be easily lumped right in with the loons.

Of course, some folks would just call that a "campaign," instead of a "conspiracy."

Just as a for instance, I'm not so sure I buy that the long delay before the Pres. came was because they were working so hard to get it right, and still got the facts so damn wrong. That really doesn't say good things about how things are getting done in the White House. I'd like to think there was a heavy discussion going back there, about whether to say, "Osama is dead," or, if they should go with, "Osama is dead, and we are bugging out of Afghanistan immediately." Maybe someday we'll know.




Fellow -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 7:31:49 PM)

Wacky for whom? One can not mix documented facts and conspiracy theory jokes. The death of Osama has been repeatedly announced by credible people, his CIA connections since Afghanistan war well known, CIA has itself confessed of making fake videos, Osama videos after 9/11 were shown to be fake with 90% probability by European video specialists. 




kdsub -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 7:34:48 PM)

fellow... my post is the point of the thread..making fun of wacky theories.

Butch




kdsub -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/9/2011 7:36:00 PM)

quote:

"Osama is dead, and we are bugging out of Afghanistan immediately."


If it were only true.

Butch




tweakabelle -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 12:37:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fellow

One can not mix documented facts and conspiracy theory jokes. The death of Osama has been repeatedly announced by credible people, his CIA connections since Afghanistan war well known, CIA has itself confessed of making fake videos, Osama videos after 9/11 were shown to be fake with 90% probability by European video specialists. 




Of course one can't mix "documented facts and conspiracy theory jokes". We have an undocumented President illegally in the White House, nay, the country, an undocumented death of an illegal alien in Pakistan and an undocumented burial at sea. (at sea!!?? Why at sea? I ask you. why????) Join the dots! Any fool can see what's really happening here!

To me you are really onto something here. That you might be on something pretty groovy too is irrelevant to the facts at hand.

Oh ... and whatever you're on I want 50! Plain paper wrapping and no return address of course. You know the drill ........ sssssssshhhhhh!




Moonhead -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 4:42:13 AM)

OBL was actually one of Whitley Streiber's short grey friends in a daft costume: that's why he favoured videos over public appearance, and why the various agencies involved in the capture were keen to dispose of the body without examining it properly.




GreedyTop -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 4:58:32 AM)

oooh.. thats my favourite so far, Moon!!




Moonhead -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 4:59:58 AM)

Thanks. I'm here all week...
[;)]




Ax2 -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 5:03:05 AM)

OBL never existed in the first place...




barelynangel -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 5:06:38 AM)

quote:

William and Kate Tipped on bin Laden Killing

Bin Laden's death bumped the birthers out of the news—it also bumped off the royal wedding. Could there be a connection between the two huge media stories?



I am sure someone mentioned this already but lol don't forget, that Obama wasn't invited to the wedding.  And if you think this breaking news wasn't timed perfectly, breaking into Celebrity Apprentice right before Trump fired someone.  Tell me that wasn't timed perfectly.

I think he decided to kill OBL just to spite people he was upset with.  The timings don't lie.

angel




GreedyTop -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 5:15:48 AM)

lol Angel




rulemylife -> RE: 6 Wackiest Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theories (5/10/2011 5:16:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Since you question the truth of everything the government tells you, I would hope you would not be so lame as to use fraudulent government documents as proof of a governmental fraud perpetrated, yet codified by the government with government documentation as others of weaker minds might do...  It raises an issue of conundrums, you see.

Like saying; redundant, redundant, redundantly......   


I even question whether it is actually you posting this or whether you are a CIA plant.




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