RE: First time questions for Domme

RE: First time questions for Domme (Full Version)

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Rochsub2009 -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/11/2011 7:55:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: falccon When you approach a Domme, what are some good questions to ask? Here's a tip. Forget that she's a Domme. In fact, forget the kink altogether. Pretend like she's a new colleague at work. Or a new neighbor who has just moved into the house/apartment next door. What kind of things would you say to those people? You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. If you just treat her like any other woman that you've met during the course of your life, things will go much better. She's a person. She's a woman that you're meeting for the very first time. You've done that before, right? So do what you've always done (unless you're really creepy and have a tendency to scare women away). In case that isn't explicit enough for you, here are a few specific instructions: -"Hi" is always a good way to start a conversation, but it's not a conversation all by itself. NEVER send someone a message that just says "Hi". -Don't send/show her a picture of your cock. -Don't give her a laundry list of your kinks and fantasies. -Don't call her "Mistress" (or any other title) unless she tells you to. -Ask her lots of questions (about HER, not about your kink). -Show interest in what interests her. -Continue to resist the temptation to talk about your kink (unless she brings it up). -Smile (if you're meeting in real life). Hope that helps. Good luck.

theRose4U -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/11/2011 8:20:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: falccon quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh I'd like to share a wonderful story by AAkasha that was posted in the Creative Writings forum.... The Bitch in High Heels Have a read through and see if that gives you a general feeling as to how many dominant women like to be approached. Once you're able to realize that the important part of the equation, generally, isn't so much the dominant as much as it is the woman part, it should become clearer. As for specific compatibility questions...I would suggest not being in such a rush to "get past" the small talk. Remember...the devil is in the details and sometimes those details are dropped as subtle hints in not-so-small talk. that was a definite eye-opener, and it should be required reading; i'm glad you presented it to me. if i didn't read that article, i would of messed up my whole approach. i kept looking at them as a Domme first, but it should be as a woman first. Good advice, looking at us as a life support system for your kink is a good way to get kicked to the curb.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/11/2011 11:22:39 PM)
quote: When you approach a Domme, what are some good questions to ask? WTF!?! holy crap dude, isn't it obvious? ask her the questions you want answers too. hannah lynn

ResidentSadist -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/11/2011 11:37:33 PM)
"thanks to all who replied. once i get past the small talk, what specific questions do i ask to see if we are compatible?" You don't. Just relax, you're not the one in control. She should ask you what your desires, needs and goals are and tell you what hers are. If you guys click, she'll let you know how to proceed.

Ariane23 -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 12:43:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Why dont you try "Hello, my name is ______________. How are you this evening?" Gods I hate that. Try asking about some of her interests as stated in her profile, rather than sounding like a generic "OMG it's female, pounce! pounce!" approach.

falccon -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 9:01:21 AM)
very good feedback from all. the questions were geared towards ladies i will meet at a munch or an event.

LadyPact -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 9:52:49 AM)
I'm a little confused. You're other thread in the General section was about the things you miss in a M/s dynamic. To Me, that says that you had to go through this process before. How did you handle it then? What was your getting to know each other phase like? I don't understand why you are treating this differently.

Hillwilliam -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 10:30:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ariane23 quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Why dont you try "Hello, my name is ______________. How are you this evening?" Gods I hate that. Try asking about some of her interests as stated in her profile, rather than sounding like a generic "OMG it's female, pounce! pounce!" approach. I was speaking of RL meetings, not the cyber stuff. People don't walk around with a profile tattooed to their forehead.

falccon -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 10:41:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'm a little confused. You're other thread in the General section was about the things you miss in a M/s dynamic. To Me, that says that you had to go through this process before. How did you handle it then? What was your getting to know each other phase like? I don't understand why you are treating this differently. it's complicated. i'd have to start a new thread because i do not want to hyjack this one.

LadyPact -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 10:46:24 AM)
Personal opinion, of course, but I'd just see that as additional info. It relates to why you were asking the question in the first place. The Mods really don't nail folks to the wall if there is discussion during a topic.

falccon -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 10:59:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Personal opinion, of course, but I'd just see that as additional info. It relates to why you were asking the question in the first place. The Mods really don't nail folks to the wall if there is discussion during a topic. the additional info might help, but i'll open up at another time when i get to know some of the members here.

Ariane23 -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 11:05:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: falccon very good feedback from all. the questions were geared towards ladies i will meet at a munch or an event. Ah, that's different. You have nothing to go on, unless you've seen people on-line and are going to a munch they're also going to. But as others have said, it's basic social rules. What would you say to a woman at a friend's party in vanilla-land? You might want to throw "Are you here with friends?" in around question 3, to see if she's there with a partner.

Hillwilliam -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 7:42:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ariane23 quote: ORIGINAL: falccon very good feedback from all. the questions were geared towards ladies i will meet at a munch or an event. Ah, that's different. You have nothing to go on, unless you've seen people on-line and are going to a munch they're also going to. But as others have said, it's basic social rules. What would you say to a woman at a friend's party in vanilla-land? You might want to throw "Are you here with friends?" in around question 3, to see if she's there with a partner. That last question is an awesome idea. Dom here but it's still interesting to know who the future cucky boy might be ;-)

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/12/2011 10:03:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Why dont you try "Hello, my name is ______________. How are you this evening?" Make sure you smile and look into her EYES not her TITS. I agree with Hillwilliam, with a minor exception... I'm not entirely offended, by a guy looking for a couple of seconds, at the bewbage. [8D] M

Madame4a -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/13/2011 5:00:49 PM)
Just make friends... for goddess sake.. if someone asked me a ton of questions so THEY could see if we were compatible, we would not be.. if someone tried to make friends and maybe buy me a cup of coffee at a later date then I might want to get to know them better and in that process I'd probably see if we were compatible. I do so hate the fact that people only approach you as a potential partner and the minute you're not they reject you. You know what.. that's just damned stupid.. I have friends... quote: ORIGINAL: falccon very good feedback from all. the questions were geared towards ladies i will meet at a munch or an event.

Delilya -> RE: First time questions for Domme (5/13/2011 6:58:49 PM)
Ask questions to find her passion in the vanilla world. Books, nature, animals, music, the list goes on. Get my attention that way and I am much more likely to give you the time of day. One of the best people I converse with here, caught mine by sending messages with Tom Jones lyrics in them. It was a lucky guess on his part, I've kissed Tom Jones.

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